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Topic: Hmmm I don't know if I need advice
yummyishoney's photo
Mon 11/26/07 06:21 PM
At work there is this guy, and tonight was the first night I worked with him. I volunteered to work during his shift to see him. This feels extremely silly.

So I guess it's just been a while since I've been in the whole flirting thing... so I can't tell if the things he's saying is flirting and what I do in return.

He asked me if I liked coffee, and I said I don't drink coffee and he said "well almost perfect, but doesn't like coffee"

Or something to that effect. I can't tell if he was talking about me or himself. But he'd make little remarks all day kind of like that. But I can't tell if thats just how he is.. or if he's attracted.. Or what! LOL I swear this has never happened to me before. I always know if a guy likes me or not :tongue:

Maybe thats why I feel so silly posting this!

But I really don't know what I should do...

Oh and the whole time at work he has me busting up laughing and I sound like such a dork! I hate it! But he's so funny.

blushing blushing

We're actually similiar in that part, you couldn't tell by looking at him but he's sort of a nerd. He claims he's played d&d and has thought about putting a game together.

And while i was there he was talking about his ex, and explaining to someone else about the whole situation and how it was over and has been for months. But the way he talked about it sounded so much like my situation.

But then again I have a kid so I instantly think there could be no way he could dig that. He's seen my kid and knows about it. But I dunno. I guess I don't want to start anything because I hate getting hurt but at the same time.. what if it's an awesome experience..

and I don't even know if he's into me. Why couldn't he have just asked me out for a couple drinks. I almost did just so I would know what he thought. laugh

jisytg14's photo
Mon 11/26/07 06:25 PM
honestly life is too short... i totally regret things i DIDNT do wayyyyy more than things i've done.. so who cares if he doesnt' turn out to be prince charming.. give it a try and see where it goes.. but i think he deserves a fair shot.. and he definately seems interested... just don't throw your whole heart in.. take it slow

no photo
Mon 11/26/07 06:32 PM
Oh I LIKE this one! It's so cute! (not being sarcastic either) My dear, we have ALL gone through what you are feeling right now! I remember those days! The butterflies in the stomach, not knowing what to say, trying to see if there is any "writing between the lines". Best thing I can say is try to relax and just be yourself. Think of maybe subtle ways to hint or ask around to find out if he likes you or not...but remember, guys usually have to be hit on the head with a rock at that age to "get a clue" of any "hints" of a question. So some may need to be more direct. But don't be afraid to ask! men are built different and we usually do not take offense at any question in most cases. So relax, be yourself and don;t be afraid to ask him! I hope it works out for you! :)

yummyishoney's photo
Mon 11/26/07 06:38 PM
If I didn't feel like a dork speaking to him it would be so much easier. laugh

Why has it been so much easier in the past.. OH wait, probably because I met all of those guys drunk. (That was a partial joke) laugh

mry's photo
Mon 11/26/07 06:41 PM
It sure sounds like he likes you! Go for it!

EstrellaNegra's photo
Mon 11/26/07 06:45 PM
I have noticed that some guys that are interested in me always ask if I like coffee. If I say yes, then they ask if I want to go get coffee sometime. If I say no, then they get a little flusturd, kinda like your guy did. I think that's what he was trying to do. He likes you. Give him a chance to open up to you. I don't think you having a kid is a problem. Let's see what happens next...:smile:

fortsmithman's photo
Mon 11/26/07 06:45 PM
Yeah go for it if he doesn't like the fact you have a kid find someone else. Your kid should come first. If he likes the kid then you 2 will be happy if not find another. There are plenty of guys who will be there for you and your kid.

yummyishoney's photo
Mon 11/26/07 06:46 PM
Why is flirting so complicated! laugh

unsure's photo
Mon 11/26/07 06:53 PM
If someone asks me if I like coffee, I always say yes!! UMMM I hate coffee!! I think thats everyones way to ask you out...you should have said yes. Next time you see him say something like..so, you want to go grab a cup of coffee? Then he might say something like...but I thought you didn't drink coffee? Then you give him a cute little smirk and say, Oh I will drink coffee if thats what it takes to spend some time with you!!
I am sure that you can think of something cute to come up with!! You can ask him out in some kind of way..just get brave and do it!! I think he does like you and then you just blew him off noway
Good luck flowerforyou

no photo
Mon 11/26/07 06:53 PM
well its not flirting. you just attracted to the guy. but he does not know how to take charge. he will take forever to ask you out. you should do it.

yummyishoney's photo
Mon 11/26/07 06:55 PM
Yeah maybe :tongue: Oh well I work with him next week, I'll just wait and see what happens..

no photo
Mon 11/26/07 07:03 PM
..have fun.

no photo
Tue 11/27/07 02:28 AM
hehe...u may be confused but i know exactly what he's doing. pretty powerful effect it's havin on ya, huh?

hmm... let's see if he's the real deal. Pickup artists learn how to pass "tests" that women consciously and subconsciously give to men. Let's give him a big one.
We also learn to do something called a "neg." A neg is a comment that supposedly communicates a lack of sexual interest and a refusal to put the woman up on a pedestal because attractive women are sick of men constantly telegaphing sexual interest right off the bat. "well almost perfect, but doesn't like coffee" is a specific kind of neg (a "disqualifier") and it basically keeps you on your toes in suspense due to the resulting mixed signals.
Next time he negs you, call him out on it and see how he responds devil
If he's good at this stuff he will appreciate the challenge you present and will be more than willing to step up to the plate to play with you.
Flirt on!
-Chief

DebbieJo's photo
Tue 11/27/07 03:34 AM
Life's all about taking risks and chances! Things don't always turn out the way you want...but SOMETIMES they do...if you're willing to lay your fears aside! I say, give it a shot!..ask him if he wants to grab a bite to eat...something simple like that. Maybe he's a little shy and backwards...and he might need a little "nudge"! Go for it...and good luck!! flowerforyou drinker

no photo
Tue 11/27/07 05:55 AM
i felt he is a pua also chief but keep in mind the women here cant understand our ways of getting females. i tried to explain it but still the guy might be shy. i dont think he negs

someguy1313's photo
Tue 11/27/07 06:08 AM
Don’t waste time asking questions or dropping hints. It’s usually best just to let him know you like him then ask if he likes you… “Hey I like you, do you like me to?” This puts his guard down since you told him first and you will likely get a truthful answer. Life is to short to wait around.

no photo
Tue 11/27/07 02:42 PM

i felt he is a pua also chief but keep in mind the women here cant understand our ways of getting females. i tried to explain it but still the guy might be shy. i dont think he negs

If that guy is actually shy on the inside that means he aint got his inner game together and would NOT be the real deal, meaning that yummyishoney is wasting her time and would not be satisfied with him in the long run. If a girl threw tests at me like I described, i would be THRILLED to play with her some more. Sure, women love a challenge, but so do real men.
You don't think he negs? The quote she mentioned sure sounds like a disqualifier to me. He has that whole PUA attitude goin on from how she's describing him.
As for women not understanding our way, I respectfully disagree for the most part. The mPUAs developed many of their technique from observing how girls flirt with them and simply mirrored it right back at them and it worked like magic. David DeAngelo recommends men to read "The Rules: Time-Tested Secrets for Capturing the Heart of Mr. Right" to learn the concepts of push/pull, 2 steps forward 1 step back, and cat-string theory. Women call it "playing hard to get." Neil Strauss is constantly making mental notes of what his girlfriends are doing and how it affects his emotions. Flirting is a universal language and experienced women do all the same things we do, but don't use our same lexicon. I would have to say that women understand these things BETTER than we do haha

musclehd's photo
Tue 11/27/07 03:05 PM
hmm.. you must have a thing for him to write all that!!!

no photo
Tue 11/27/07 03:11 PM
In the imortal words of "Miss Congeniality"




















"I think Heeeeeee Likkkkkeeeeessssssss Youuuuuuuu!!!!!"

no photo
Tue 11/27/07 03:13 PM

Why is flirting so complicated! laugh


you must be doing it wrong!

Flirting is easy...it doesn't mean much....expressing how you truly feel about someone....that can be difficult at times

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