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Internet dating has transformed the way people connect over say the last 10 years. 50 years ago How would divorced people have met? Has the internet given people hope and encouraged them to actually get out of a love less relationship, where as years ago people would of just stayed the course honouring there vows?
Of course it has given those who found themselves single due to illness or the death of a partner. Maybe it's actually responsible for the failure of some relationships? Your thoughts please. |
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I think that the existence of internet dating has had only a very small effect. It might appear to be larger, but that is only because it coincidentally arrived soon after the real cause of so many changes: the end of most communications censorship, which took place at the dawn of computer communications.
Things really took off, after more people were allowed to see other people (through movies, mainly, but also on the news) who made choices other than the prepared narrow ones that society used to offer. However, even that freedom wasn't as much of a spark to people ending relationships they were in now, and working to find something more. That was triggered more by the relatively recent explosion of "Me First-ism" that began as a self-awareness movement on the left, and then was sparked into violent intensity by the Right taking it up as a be all end all cover for pure greed and avarice. Those ideas had always been around to be sure, but the rapid growth of the communications system via the internet, allowed people to interact directly with each other in private, through public means, for the first time ever. I think the internet would therefore be the gasoline which was thrown onto an already steady burning and growing fire. As for causing relationships to end, I would say "no, not quite." The relationships which end because someone finds or hopes that they can replace their mate through online dating or the like, were not themselves healthy and thriving before the moment of awareness came. Just as cheaters aren't CAUSED to cheat by the arrival of a friendly attractive new person in their lives (they were ready to cheat well before they did so), so too, the people who use the internet and online dating to escape the relationship that are in now, don't do it just because the opportunity is there. They do it because they already actively want to leave. As you might be able to see, I am extremely certain that everyone is responsible entirely for their active choices in life, whether they wish to accept that responsibility or not. |
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Internet dating has transformed the way people connect over say the last 10 years. 50 years ago How would divorced people have met? Has the internet given people hope and encouraged them to actually get out of a love less relationship, where as years ago people would of just stayed the course honouring there vows? Of course it has given those who found themselves single due to illness or the death of a partner. Maybe it's actually responsible for the failure of some relationships? Your thoughts please. Harder to know men online! I've met serval in person! Not from mingle though! After meeting not right for me! And they traveled miles here! I would hope to meet someone in my city. |
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For sure, it is a wider window to look through..the internet.
I think it has helped a lot of people seeking relationships, if only because there is a larger pool of prospects from which to choose. Larger selection of creeps, too though. So, more good, more bad. You have to stay on your game :-) |
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I think the internet would therefore be the gasoline which was thrown onto an already steady burning and growing fire.
This ^ |
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Thanks for your comments everyone, I agree it's a much wider window soufie, I wonder if this has given people the conference to get out there rather than years ago they may have stayed in a unhappy relationship or just stayed on there own. places to meet someone new were a bit restricted to bars and clubs, possibly a close encounter across the freezer chest at the supermarket but that's it!
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I think that the existence of internet dating has had only a very small effect. It might appear to be larger, but that is only because it coincidentally arrived soon after the real cause of so many changes: the end of most communications censorship, which took place at the dawn of computer communications. Things really took off, after more people were allowed to see other people (through movies, mainly, but also on the news) who made choices other than the prepared narrow ones that society used to offer. However, even that freedom wasn't as much of a spark to people ending relationships they were in now, and working to find something more. That was triggered more by the relatively recent explosion of "Me First-ism" that began as a self-awareness movement on the left, and then was sparked into violent intensity by the Right taking it up as a be all end all cover for pure greed and avarice. Those ideas had always been around to be sure, but the rapid growth of the communications system via the internet, allowed people to interact directly with each other in private, through public means, for the first time ever. I think the internet would therefore be the gasoline which was thrown onto an already steady burning and growing fire. As for causing relationships to end, I would say "no, not quite." The relationships which end because someone finds or hopes that they can replace their mate through online dating or the like, were not themselves healthy and thriving before the moment of awareness came. Just as cheaters aren't CAUSED to cheat by the arrival of a friendly attractive new person in their lives (they were ready to cheat well before they did so), so too, the people who use the internet and online dating to escape the relationship that are in now, don't do it just because the opportunity is there. They do it because they already actively want to leave. As you might be able to see, I am extremely certain that everyone is responsible entirely for their active choices in life, whether they wish to accept that responsibility or not.  I wonder if the onset of modern communication had a direct affect on divorce rates. I remember in the 60's and 70's dialing into the telephone dating party line. It was much similar to the old chat rooms where different people all talked about different things with a focus on finding a date. My dad told me he wooed my mom by letter after they met. Imagine trying to snail mail date? I also remember dad telling me divorce was a unique thing that was taboo. When someone got a divorce in his day it was not talked about and considered a major failure. Divorcees were shunned by social groups. I just try to remember that there is no such thing as online dating. Online dating sites are merely tools, just like letters. Actual dating still requires person to person contact. The internet just increases the selection pool of candidates. |
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When we are encouraged to think more 'independently' focused almost entirely on ourselves,, and mix that with a tool that gives us nearly instant access to a WORLD full of people
the temptation and the 'what ifs' are much more abundantly impressed upon us than when we were only around those people we saw 'around' or at work so yeah, I would think that with the introduction of so many more 'options', sticking to relationships began to seem less of a value and more of a hindrance,,, |
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Thanks tom I'd say it has had an effect, and yes divorce was very much a taboo subject. that's why I mention people staying put in a loveless relationship. definitely the case with Catholics I think.
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so yeah, I would think that with the introduction of so many more 'options', sticking to relationships began to seem less of a value and more of a hindrance,,, I wonder if it could induce an evolutionary trait in human reproduction? I mean it has obviously caused an evolution of society. Nature exhibits evolutionary changes related to mating all the time. Brighter feathers, louder calls, stuff like that. It creates a physical change in the organism. Over time, what could it do to the human organism? Not necessarily socially but physically? If acceptance goes down might we morph our appearance? If acceptance goes up might we regress in appearance? As standards for acceptance changes might our bodies change over time to fit? I'm not talking about a decisive change but a slow change over generations. What was sexy to caveman Bob isn't sexy to current standards and vice versa. Human olfactory and pheromone levels have changed over time. Our natural scent, which used to get caveman Bob all excited is masked with perfumes and colognes. Our ability to smell the musk of a potential mate has been reduced. We still use scent as a factor in choosing a mate but in the future might that be overridden by some other physical trait that is dormant right now? |
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