Topic: When messages from men turn sexual in nature
I_love_bluegrass's photo
Sun 10/20/19 07:01 PM

This is why men bring up the subject earlier than you ladies like:

To take a closer look at sex and older women, Harder and her colleagues analyzed surveys filled out by 24,305 women, half of whom were 64 or older. The researchers chose to focus on 4,418 women who also filled out a comment section that allowed them to write down their experiences in more detail.

Just 22.5% of the women, whose ages ranged from 50 to 75, said they had had intercourse in the preceding month. Lack of an intimate partner was the most common reason women cited, at 34.7%, for giving up sex. Among the 65.3% of women who did have a partner, just 34.5 reported being sexually active in the preceding month.

If only 35% who have partners are sexually active, that means I have a 60+% chance of getting involved with a woman unwilling to be sexually active. Poor odds of finding a suitable partner!! I don't need a commitment to have sex with me ever but I do need to hear a positive attitude toward still being sexually active on your part.

ref:https://www.msn.com/en-us/health/health-news/sex-less-likely-and-less-satisfying-as-women-hit-older-age/ar-AAEbE6E?li=BBnba9O


You really need to get off the woman-bashing trope..

There are plenty of guys who, as they get older have lost interest in sex..
Just because YOU don't believe it or don't perspnally know anyone like that doesn't mean it isn't true...
Also, men are less likely to be honest about the fact they aren't getting any...like it's an embaressment if they aren't or something...so, many misrepresemt how active they actually are...

Ron B's photo
Sun 10/20/19 07:42 PM
3 months? I suspect most will assume you are sexless or impotent and move on.
I agree you shouldn't be trying to jump someone on a first meeting, but you should know if it is welcome much sooner than 3 months.

S far as text messages, I will sometimes get very suggestive with those I think are scammers, just to see the reaction.

oldkid46's photo
Sun 10/20/19 09:48 PM


This is why men bring up the subject earlier than you ladies like:

To take a closer look at sex and older women, Harder and her colleagues analyzed surveys filled out by 24,305 women, half of whom were 64 or older. The researchers chose to focus on 4,418 women who also filled out a comment section that allowed them to write down their experiences in more detail.

Just 22.5% of the women, whose ages ranged from 50 to 75, said they had had intercourse in the preceding month. Lack of an intimate partner was the most common reason women cited, at 34.7%, for giving up sex. Among the 65.3% of women who did have a partner, just 34.5 reported being sexually active in the preceding month.

If only 35% who have partners are sexually active, that means I have a 60+% chance of getting involved with a woman unwilling to be sexually active. Poor odds of finding a suitable partner!! I don't need a commitment to have sex with me ever but I do need to hear a positive attitude toward still being sexually active on your part.

ref:https://www.msn.com/en-us/health/health-news/sex-less-likely-and-less-satisfying-as-women-hit-older-age/ar-AAEbE6E?li=BBnba9O


You really need to get off the woman-bashing trope..

There are plenty of guys who, as they get older have lost interest in sex..
Just because YOU don't believe it or don't perspnally know anyone like that doesn't mean it isn't true...
Also, men are less likely to be honest about the fact they aren't getting any...like it's an embaressment if they aren't or something...so, many misrepresemt how active they actually are...
I realize there are both men and women who are looking for some level of companionship that does not include physical sex. That is fine and their choice. That does not excuse either from leading someone else on. I think most people expect sex to be part of any relationship and if you are not willing to be sexually involved, that should be made clear before any relationship ever starts. Let's just call it "Truth in Dating". Something akin to being honest about your marital status.

I_love_bluegrass's photo
Mon 10/21/19 06:50 AM
Edited by I_love_bluegrass on Mon 10/21/19 06:50 AM



This is why men bring up the subject earlier than you ladies like:

To take a closer look at sex and older women, Harder and her colleagues analyzed surveys filled out by 24,305 women, half of whom were 64 or older. The researchers chose to focus on 4,418 women who also filled out a comment section that allowed them to write down their experiences in more detail.

Just 22.5% of the women, whose ages ranged from 50 to 75, said they had had intercourse in the preceding month. Lack of an intimate partner was the most common reason women cited, at 34.7%, for giving up sex. Among the 65.3% of women who did have a partner, just 34.5 reported being sexually active in the preceding month.

If only 35% who have partners are sexually active, that means I have a 60+% chance of getting involved with a woman unwilling to be sexually active. Poor odds of finding a suitable partner!! I don't need a commitment to have sex with me ever but I do need to hear a positive attitude toward still being sexually active on your part.

ref:https://www.msn.com/en-us/health/health-news/sex-less-likely-and-less-satisfying-as-women-hit-older-age/ar-AAEbE6E?li=BBnba9O


You really need to get off the woman-bashing trope..

There are plenty of guys who, as they get older have lost interest in sex..
Just because YOU don't believe it or don't perspnally know anyone like that doesn't mean it isn't true...
Also, men are less likely to be honest about the fact they aren't getting any...like it's an embaressment if they aren't or something...so, many misrepresemt how active they actually are...
I realize there are both men and women who are looking for some level of companionship that does not include physical sex. That is fine and their choice. That does not excuse either from leading someone else on. I think most people expect sex to be part of any relationship and if you are not willing to be sexually involved, that should be made clear before any relationship ever starts. Let's just call it "Truth in Dating". Something akin to being honest about your marital status.


I said nothing about leading anyone on.

I merely commented on the fact you continually bash older women for having a low or no sex drive..
As I *said*..that happens to older guys as well...but most won't admit it, because..like in high school..they don't want to be seen as the loser guy who can't get laid (when in fact, they have no real interest in it)...but to save face, they act like they do.


oldkid46's photo
Mon 10/21/19 09:19 AM




This is why men bring up the subject earlier than you ladies like:

To take a closer look at sex and older women, Harder and her colleagues analyzed surveys filled out by 24,305 women, half of whom were 64 or older. The researchers chose to focus on 4,418 women who also filled out a comment section that allowed them to write down their experiences in more detail.

Just 22.5% of the women, whose ages ranged from 50 to 75, said they had had intercourse in the preceding month. Lack of an intimate partner was the most common reason women cited, at 34.7%, for giving up sex. Among the 65.3% of women who did have a partner, just 34.5 reported being sexually active in the preceding month.

If only 35% who have partners are sexually active, that means I have a 60+% chance of getting involved with a woman unwilling to be sexually active. Poor odds of finding a suitable partner!! I don't need a commitment to have sex with me ever but I do need to hear a positive attitude toward still being sexually active on your part.

ref:https://www.msn.com/en-us/health/health-news/sex-less-likely-and-less-satisfying-as-women-hit-older-age/ar-AAEbE6E?li=BBnba9O


You really need to get off the woman-bashing trope..

There are plenty of guys who, as they get older have lost interest in sex..
Just because YOU don't believe it or don't perspnally know anyone like that doesn't mean it isn't true...
Also, men are less likely to be honest about the fact they aren't getting any...like it's an embaressment if they aren't or something...so, many misrepresemt how active they actually are...
I realize there are both men and women who are looking for some level of companionship that does not include physical sex. That is fine and their choice. That does not excuse either from leading someone else on. I think most people expect sex to be part of any relationship and if you are not willing to be sexually involved, that should be made clear before any relationship ever starts. Let's just call it "Truth in Dating". Something akin to being honest about your marital status.


I said nothing about leading anyone on.

I merely commented on the fact you continually bash older women for having a low or no sex drive..
As I *said*..that happens to older guys as well...but most won't admit it, because..like in high school..they don't want to be seen as the loser guy who can't get laid (when in fact, they have no real interest in it)...but to save face, they act like they do.


I do not bash older women but only point out statistical facts and medical research. It is much healthier both physically and mentally to remain sexually active. If you are having difficulty enjoying your sexuality as you age, you need to discuss it with your healthcare provider. There are many ways to change that situation with either medications or psychological intervention. What I do bash are older women who refuse to admit they have a sexual problem and seek medical care. They also seem to think older men also have no interest in sexual activity and will be satisfied with a female companion or housekeeper. As you say, some will be but many others will not be.

FYI: there is a significant difference between not getting laid and being incapable of having an erection or orgasm. Getting laid (your words) requires a partner generally preferred to be a female partner!!!

I_love_bluegrass's photo
Mon 10/21/19 01:23 PM


I do not bash older women but only point out statistical facts and medical research. It is much healthier both physically and mentally to remain sexually active. If you are having difficulty enjoying your sexuality as you age, you need to discuss it with your healthcare provider. There are many ways to change that situation with either medications or psychological intervention. What I do bash are older women who refuse to admit they have a sexual problem and seek medical care. They also seem to think older men also have no interest in sexual activity and will be satisfied with a female companion or housekeeper. As you say, some will be but many others will not be.

FYI: there is a significant difference between not getting laid and being incapable of having an erection or orgasm. Getting laid (your words) requires a partner generally preferred to be a female partner!!!


Again..you totally ignored my comment about that there ARE older men as well that have little and no interest in sex....
As I said..just because you can't believe that doesn't mean it isn't true.

They don't have an interest *not* because they have ED or any other physical problem...they just don't...

oldkid46's photo
Mon 10/21/19 01:47 PM
Here you go regarding decreased sexual interest of older men:

https://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/sexual-health/expert-answers/loss-of-sex-drive/faq-20058237

https://www.webmd.com/sex-relationships/features/loss-of-libido-in-men#1

I_love_bluegrass's photo
Mon 10/21/19 02:19 PM

Here you go regarding decreased sexual interest of older men:

https://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/sexual-health/expert-answers/loss-of-sex-drive/faq-20058237

https://www.webmd.com/sex-relationships/features/loss-of-libido-in-men#1


Oh sweetie..you didn;t need to show me that..*I* already knew about that.

oldkid46's photo
Mon 10/21/19 03:00 PM


Here you go regarding decreased sexual interest of older men:

https://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/sexual-health/expert-answers/loss-of-sex-drive/faq-20058237

https://www.webmd.com/sex-relationships/features/loss-of-libido-in-men#1


Oh sweetie..you didn;t need to show me that..*I* already knew about that.

2 things stand out to me: the lack of desire in the older population affects more women than men and in most cases your Doctor can help resolve the problem. Remaining sexually active and enjoying your sex life has many positive effects on your long term health both physically and mentally.

no photo
Mon 10/21/19 03:23 PM
It could be that some older men have decreased sexual interest. There's one point that both of you ignored-

Does the man Want to get involved with the woman? I'd wager that some men (like me) don't want to. The baggage that comes with a sex partner isn't so appealing. Or, the man sees no appeal in the available women.

I came across a few street walkers in my younger days. Never saw one I'd have sex with, even if it was free. (And it wasn't)

My ex used to complain about my sexual interest in her. What she never realized, is that when she dyed her hair red, that killed my interest in her. I never dated a red head, never approached one for dating. Red wasn't in my appealing category. Then I end up with one. It became sort of a mexican standoff. To retaliate, I shaved off my mustache. Now it seemed pretty childish, back then, it wasn't.

These goofy articles seem to proclaim the true reasons for sexual interest. I say it's time to look at the appeal side of sex.

I_love_bluegrass's photo
Mon 10/21/19 04:01 PM

It could be that some older men have decreased sexual interest. There's one point that both of you ignored-

Does the man Want to get involved with the woman? I'd wager that some men (like me) don't want to. The baggage that comes with a sex partner isn't so appealing. Or, the man sees no appeal in the available women.

I came across a few street walkers in my younger days. Never saw one I'd have sex with, even if it was free. (And it wasn't)

My ex used to complain about my sexual interest in her. What she never realized, is that when she dyed her hair red, that killed my interest in her. I never dated a red head, never approached one for dating. Red wasn't in my appealing category. Then I end up with one. It became sort of a mexican standoff. To retaliate, I shaved off my mustache. Now it seemed pretty childish, back then, it wasn't.

These goofy articles seem to proclaim the true reasons for sexual interest. I say it's time to look at the appeal side of sex.



"Or, the man sees no appeal in the available women."

Yep....
When a guy looks like my dad did at age 55-65....it's really hard for me to get all tingly about him..
And, so many of the men in my age range look like that... sad

Now, my dad was a nice looking guy, but...if they look like that..I just can't..

I'm sure if all the avaibale women looked like you mom...you wouldn't get bonertingles either.

oldkid46's photo
Mon 10/21/19 04:06 PM

It could be that some older men have decreased sexual interest. There's one point that both of you ignored-

Does the man Want to get involved with the woman? I'd wager that some men (like me) don't want to. The baggage that comes with a sex partner isn't so appealing. Or, the man sees no appeal in the available women.

I came across a few street walkers in my younger days. Never saw one I'd have sex with, even if it was free. (And it wasn't)

My ex used to complain about my sexual interest in her. What she never realized, is that when she dyed her hair red, that killed my interest in her. I never dated a red head, never approached one for dating. Red wasn't in my appealing category. Then I end up with one. It became sort of a mexican standoff. To retaliate, I shaved off my mustache. Now it seemed pretty childish, back then, it wasn't.

These goofy articles seem to proclaim the true reasons for sexual interest. I say it's time to look at the appeal side of sex.
There is that. I've met many women I would have no sexual interest in not to mention all the ones that come with too may strings attached.

JustBeHonest's photo
Mon 10/21/19 05:45 PM
I've met many women I would have no sexual interest in not to mention all the ones that come with too may strings attached.


Maybe you have too many rules about women as well as a bad attitude that I have seen repeatedly on here. Older people in general will have baggage as well as being set in their ways.

All women are individuals, there are no set rules about either gender.

I think at your age, you should feel lucky to find anyone at all.

oldkid46's photo
Mon 10/21/19 07:46 PM

I've met many women I would have no sexual interest in not to mention all the ones that come with too may strings attached.


Maybe you have too many rules about women as well as a bad attitude that I have seen repeatedly on here. Older people in general will have baggage as well as being set in their ways.

All women are individuals, there are no set rules about either gender.

I think at your age, you should feel lucky to find anyone at all.

We all are set in our own ways and most come with an attitude. While we are all individuals to some extent, there are many common characteristics based on age, gender, and where we live. We do need to remember that not everyone fits into a certain characteristic grouping, but a substantial number of people will.

Carlbegood's photo
Tue 10/22/19 09:47 AM
Rule #1 as a counselor 90 hours of face time before sack time, it is what almost any therapist would recommend, because after 90 hours the true nature of the other person will be revealed one way or another. My question is why the hurry, and there is nothing more fun then getting involved with a crazy person!!! Or getting involved in a co-dependent relationship. Toxic people can not follow the ninety hour rule. They need to validate themselves, often through destructive relationships.

no photo
Tue 10/22/19 04:50 PM


It could be that some older men have decreased sexual interest. There's one point that both of you ignored-

Does the man Want to get involved with the woman? I'd wager that some men (like me) don't want to. The baggage that comes with a sex partner isn't so appealing. Or, the man sees no appeal in the available women.

I came across a few street walkers in my younger days. Never saw one I'd have sex with, even if it was free. (And it wasn't)

My ex used to complain about my sexual interest in her. What she never realized, is that when she dyed her hair red, that killed my interest in her. I never dated a red head, never approached one for dating. Red wasn't in my appealing category. Then I end up with one. It became sort of a mexican standoff. To retaliate, I shaved off my mustache. Now it seemed pretty childish, back then, it wasn't.

These goofy articles seem to proclaim the true reasons for sexual interest. I say it's time to look at the appeal side of sex.



"Or, the man sees no appeal in the available women."

Yep....
When a guy looks like my dad did at age 55-65....it's really hard for me to get all tingly about him..
And, so many of the men in my age range look like that... sad

Now, my dad was a nice looking guy, but...if they look like that..I just can't..

I'm sure if all the avaibale women looked like you mom...you wouldn't get bonertingles either.



I'll agree with you on that one. To a point. That being that my mother was slender all of her life. I see very few older single women, that are slim. (In my area) So it's just easier not to bother. (Cheaper too)

I_love_bluegrass's photo
Tue 10/22/19 05:01 PM
Edited by I_love_bluegrass on Tue 10/22/19 05:03 PM



It could be that some older men have decreased sexual interest. There's one point that both of you ignored-

Does the man Want to get involved with the woman? I'd wager that some men (like me) don't want to. The baggage that comes with a sex partner isn't so appealing. Or, the man sees no appeal in the available women.

I came across a few street walkers in my younger days. Never saw one I'd have sex with, even if it was free. (And it wasn't)

My ex used to complain about my sexual interest in her. What she never realized, is that when she dyed her hair red, that killed my interest in her. I never dated a red head, never approached one for dating. Red wasn't in my appealing category. Then I end up with one. It became sort of a mexican standoff. To retaliate, I shaved off my mustache. Now it seemed pretty childish, back then, it wasn't.

These goofy articles seem to proclaim the true reasons for sexual interest. I say it's time to look at the appeal side of sex.



"Or, the man sees no appeal in the available women."

Yep....
When a guy looks like my dad did at age 55-65....it's really hard for me to get all tingly about him..
And, so many of the men in my age range look like that... sad

Now, my dad was a nice looking guy, but...if they look like that..I just can't..

I'm sure if all the avaibale women looked like you mom...you wouldn't get bonertingles either.



I'll agree with you on that one. To a point. That being that my mother was slender all of her life. I see very few older single women, that are slim. (In my area) So it's just easier not to bother. (Cheaper too)


I think you misunderstood me..
I meant if a guy or woman looked like you dad or mom...
Meaning...it'd be creepy..
I talked with a guy for a while several years ago..actually met him once..but..when he turned his head..at certain angles he looked *just* like my dad...
Made it impossible for me to get tingles for him....as it would just have been too weird...I would have felt like I was in bed with my dad.....laugh

Not that my dad was bad looking...but..I think you get my drift...
No one wants to roll over and see their dad/ mom.... whoa

no photo
Tue 10/22/19 05:59 PM
Edited by Blondey111 on Tue 10/22/19 06:00 PM
My tip for men is to make sure you give your dough plenty of time to rise before putting it in the oven .. it is the same when it comes to sexual flirtation ...,

tongue2 Just Think like a woman

tongue2 Be sure your brain , penis and heart are all speaking the same language

tongue2 .if it is not clear , then ASK Her what she values in getting to know a man . And guide your behaviour on that

Simple really :angel: biggrin waving

Xox blondey




oldkid46's photo
Tue 10/22/19 07:46 PM

My tip for men is to make sure you give your dough plenty of time to rise before putting it in the oven .. it is the same when it comes to sexual flirtation ...,

tongue2 Just Think like a woman

tongue2 Be sure your brain , penis and heart are all speaking the same language

tongue2 .if it is not clear , then ASK Her what she values in getting to know a man . And guide your behaviour on that

Simple really :angel: biggrin waving

Xox blondey




Soooo, women have a special way of thinking? And I'm supposed to know and understand that? Just maybe we should expect her to verbalize what she is thinking instead of expecting us to be mind readers!!! I've failed mind reading class numerous times. My mind works straight forward and on logic, not female emotion!

no photo
Tue 10/22/19 10:01 PM


My tip for men is to make sure you give your dough plenty of time to rise before putting it in the oven .. it is the same when it comes to sexual flirtation ...,

tongue2 Just Think like a woman

tongue2 Be sure your brain , penis and heart are all speaking the same language

tongue2 .if it is not clear , then ASK Her what she values in getting to know a man . And guide your behaviour on that

Simple really :angel: biggrin waving

Xox blondey




Soooo, women have a special way of thinking? And I'm supposed to know and understand that? Just maybe we should expect her to verbalize what she is thinking instead of expecting us to be mind readers!!! I've failed mind reading class numerous times. My mind works straight forward and on logic, not female emotion!
all brains are unique and capable of special thinking :wink:

Logic should tell you that being sexually suggestive with someone that you have not met could be less than impressive ., if you do not share similar values . Incompatible communication styles is likely to cockblock you faster than your wing man :-) you do not need to be a mind reader just improve your communication skills biggrin waving