I couldn't sleep or even make out with more than one person at a time. Im just not wired that way.

On the other hand, Im wary of guys who get all jealous and petulant about me talking to other guys in the early stages of getting acquainted.

I remember how offended a man was , after only 3 short conversations with me that there was another guy I was chatting with.

You would have sworn we were married and I was having an affair

Hi Peggy, I agree, I've thought of it as a cross over period, when you meet someone for the first time then agree to meet again do you stop any progress being made with someone else? Or if you're seeing someone casually then go on a date do you carry on seeing the casual friend?

so for you there are only 2 allowable modes?
alone or in a committed monogamous relationship? and not learning period in between?

I think its important to be honest with yourself and with the other person mikey and guage compatability levels based on that honesty.

If you are not comfortable with your date dating other people or vice versa, and your date doesnt share yiur sentiment or vice versa, then its clear that you are not compatible.
Why go on dating after that?

You have to find someone who shares your perception of dating and exclusivity.

What I think is a problem is that one person usually has stronger feelings for their date than their date has for them.

The person who is more emotionally invested will usually have higher drmands.

Hi Eric :)

I actually dont remember saying anything about modes or what's allowable.
Would you like to explain your interpretation of my comments? I dont quite understand it

sorry peg i am either mixing peeps or threads your one post in here doesn't really justify my response.

No harm done :)

and lord knows i don't like the idea of sleeping with more than one.
the bed gets to crowded

I though to date more then one, you are starting to betray all of them.

On the other hand u are betraying your self too. It shows u r sincerity.

I do not think so anyan or women go for multiple dates at once.

I though to date more then one, you are starting to betray all of them.

On the other hand u are betraying your self too. It shows u r sincerity.

I do not think so anyan or women go for multiple dates at once.

Then how do you feel about dating more than one? That doesn't mean sleeping with them, just dating. You do this at least until you have a commitment from 1.
It's just to protect yourself. We make ourselves exclusive and committed even when we don't get a commitment in return. Exclusivity does NOT equal commitment by the way...
There are men who can be exclusive for years, even move in together, without making a real commitment. Then you are the eternal 'girlfriend with a boyfriend'. But you'd want a truly committed partner, possibly a husband even (if that's what you want), not a boyfriend. We done the 'boyfriend thing' when we were 16.
There is a big difference... The boyfriend is content with the situation. He's got companionship, friendship, a sex buddy. Life is nice and easy. He has no plans to take it to the next level, at least not with you.

A committed partner is nuts about you, would move heaven and earth to be and stay with you, and to keep you by his side. He wants to grow old with you, share his life with you.

Totally different vibe.. the first scenario is where the man suddenly falls in love with another, marrying her within a month and having a baby on the way the next, leaving you devastated because you never got that commitment from him.

I can understand there are many reasons why a woman would want to date more than one guy at the same time, but it wouldn't work for me if it was suggested, but no doubt it has happened to me without my knowledge in the past, I have been dumped more than once.

If I am interested enough to spend time and effort dating a woman past the first two or three dates, that's because I want something long term with her, maybe other women and guys are happy just to date others at the same time, everyone is different. I know we would both be on a learning curve and it could become nothing, but at least I would feel that from the outset we were both interested in the same thing, something long term with each other. If she just wanted to continue to date whilst dating others, rightly or wrongly, I would doubt her sincerity, and I guess I would be a little afraid of becoming jealous, not a healthy relationship it just wouldn't work for me, no matter how keen I was on her.

You can never prevent a partner walking away from a relationship whatever the level of commitment between you both.

In theory I could date several guys crystal as I wont be sleeping with them , but in reality it wouldnt be practical. For one thing , the optics of that situation dont work in my favor as a woman.It might be different in your country, but in my region, I really am not excited about being labelled the town slut ,as I am publicly sighted rotating groups of men every few months until I find the right match . No one will believe that Im not sleeping with any of them even when that would be the truth as I dont sleep around. And this brings me to another point that you also raised.Since each date will be expecting me to make out with him by the third date and I wont be doing that due to a lack of feelings for most of them, then that means terminating the dating interaction after every second or third date.
with each man. How exhausting! So no. With the value I place on intimacy , sex and my reputation, that brand of dating wont work well for me.

As for the other point you raised about commitment, Im slowly learning to be respectful of other people's perception of commitment even if Im strongly against it for myself.

I have a friend who has been in a relationship for 11 years and her bf seems to not want marriage, although she does. All her friends and associates who criticised his "lack of commitment to her over the years, are now divorced, separated or deeply unhappy compared to her and her bf who have no kids, dont even live together, but are deeply in love and supportive of each other professionally, socially, emotionally etc

Although I personally wouldnt want that situation for myself, their relationship has outlasted many couples and they love each other fiercely and unconditionally even if they dont live together. I consider their relationship committed and so do they. What do you think about theur arrangement?