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| Topic: What to do when your parents and future in-laws don't get al | |
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I met a girl on one of A Foreign Affair’s single’s tour. I was very interested the first time I saw her. I had the time of my life while visiting her country. After I left, we continued exchanging messages through e-mail and hit it off. I was already 33 years old when we met, and she was 25, but age difference never mattered.
Just 18 months after my first visit, I decided to see her again, and make her mine forever. Long story short, I proposed, and she said yes. We were happy with the progress of our relationship. We told our families the news, and they were just as excited as we were. Her family wanted us to marry in their hometown and I chose to give in to their request. This was the first issue we’ve had to deal with. My mom got so mad at me for agreeing with them, saying I should’ve asked them first. She actually wanted us to marry in the same church that she and dad married in. Was I wrong to agree with my fiancé’s parents that quick? After making amends, my family supported me and travelled with the third time I visited her. What I thought would be an exciting time turned sour real quick. The first time our parents met, it was a total disaster. Our mothers kept bickering, but at least our dads didn’t give us any problems. My fiancé and I discussed the issue of our parents. We argued a few days before I returned home because of our parents’ incompatibility.I don’t want to disappoint her but didn’t want to disappoint my parents. It’s starting to put a strain on our relationship just as we finished working our papers for marriage. I don’t know what to do. Should I just ignore our parents? Should we wait until they settle their differences before marrying? I don’t want things to go out of hand especially since our wedding day is coming up. Any advice on my situation is very much appreciated. |
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 There are only two people you have to please: yourself and the woman you want to marry. The desires of your parents or her parents are irrelevant. |
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elope!
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I met a girl on one of A Foreign Affair’s single’s tour. I was very interested the first time I saw her. I had the time of my life while visiting her country. After I left, we continued exchanging messages through e-mail and hit it off. I was already 33 years old when we met, and she was 25, but age difference never mattered. Just 18 months after my first visit, I decided to see her again, and make her mine forever. Long story short, I proposed, and she said yes. We were happy with the progress of our relationship. We told our families the news, and they were just as excited as we were. Her family wanted us to marry in their hometown and I chose to give in to their request. This was the first issue we’ve had to deal with. My mom got so mad at me for agreeing with them, saying I should’ve asked them first. She actually wanted us to marry in the same church that she and dad married in. Was I wrong to agree with my fiancé’s parents that quick? After making amends, my family supported me and travelled with the third time I visited her. What I thought would be an exciting time turned sour real quick. The first time our parents met, it was a total disaster. Our mothers kept bickering, but at least our dads didn’t give us any problems. My fiancé and I discussed the issue of our parents. We argued a few days before I returned home because of our parents’ incompatibility.I don’t want to disappoint her but didn’t want to disappoint my parents. It’s starting to put a strain on our relationship just as we finished working our papers for marriage. I don’t know what to do. Should I just ignore our parents? Should we wait until they settle their differences before marrying? I don’t want things to go out of hand especially since our wedding day is coming up. Any advice on my situation is very much appreciated. you are marrying her not your and her parents unless you are both going to be moving in with your or her parents ... move on ... best wishes to you both : ) hope ya have a great wedding and life |
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And the OP deactivated again...
Personally I'd say "not my problem if they have a problem" but that could be an age thing  I don't care so much any more about making people happy at my expense. |
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Was I wrong to agree with my fiancé’s parents that quick? Maybe. Where do you want to get married? Where does your wife want to get married. Are you able to figure out what you want, and stand up to your/her parents an assert yourself as an adult? Should I just ignore our parents? No. You should figure out what you want, take into consideration those you care about and are affected by your decisions, and assert yourself like an adult. Should we wait until they settle their differences before marrying? Maybe. What kind of people are they? Are they the type incapable of comporting themselves as adults, therefore when they show up to the wedding it's going to detract from the event? Any advice on my situation is very much appreciated Talk with your fiancee. Make decisions together. Communicate those decisions to your respective parents. Stand by your decisions, be consistent. |
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Have them all stand next to each other and then MOE slap the chit out of them ..I only mention this because I'm thinking wife swapping is probably totally out of the picture..jk my real thoughts is Go and have a good life with your girl and tell'em all to PISS OFF..  |
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