Can you please elaborate this one Lars?

It was about attention seeking, looking for virtual hugs, kisses, likes on Facebleedinbook. That kinda thing. People who can't live without that sort of stuff.

You can quantify love all you want but more often than not when the smoke clears you'll be the one standing alone in the middle holding an empty bag.

I see... thanks

So the complete opposite of me

Smooth

Love requires a lot of work that doesn’t feel like work at all. There are no feelings that you have to do this or you have to be that rather whatever you do for the other person comes naturally and would feel effortless. Yes I agree on no grey areas too. It’s either you love them for who they are or leave them as they cannot be the one you want them to be.

I agree. If a person can't be your partner, for various reasons, it is better to let go and let the past be past. Though whatever happens in the future, is unpredictable ... and making plans never works

I guess being such a subjective phenomenon the main thing is feeling happy or satisfied with the person you are when around or in a relationship with the person you're with. For example I think you need that almost vicarious emotional connection for sex to be more than just mechanical. The more connection you have the more earth shattering, although obviously moods can affect this but sympathetic connection helps that too. So it needs to be someone you kind of look up to or respect in ways, generally that comes from a sense of understanding you get by seeing some of yourself in this person and the best measure of that is if you like yourself around them.

You can get a similar sexual effect from diametric opposition but the difference there is you don't like yourself around them outside the bedroom and it's unhealthy and won't last through anything requiring complementary spousal cooperation or personal trials requiring support, yet tons of people confuse that for love, that's just lust, with clear warning signs of incompatability. It may sexually simulate love just because we're equipped to understand danger as effectively as camaraderie in order to deal with it instinctively and survive it. If you run around thinking with genitals you won't see the difference between someone your instincts want you to get away from and someone you definitely want to be with, the sex is just as earth shattering but one doesn't shackle you in the basement afterwards.

You need to be open about suitors because we can be surprised where the best matches might come from, ie. friendzoning and coming at it all feminist are dismissive approaches since they require you be all up inside your own head and never even see other people with clarity. But you do need to be aware of how you feel about yourself when you're with a person, do you feel like you're some ugly monster around them and they're doing you a favour, or do you feel just bright and sunshine happy and want to dance to a Fred Astaire musical when you're with them? You need to be open and clear to size that up but I think that's the best measure of the relationship potential.

If you're like me and feel like Fred Astaire in a musical pretty much every time any woman gives you the time of day well then I can't help you any more than I can myself :D hahaha

Open about suitors would mean getting to know other men? Not dismissing nor friend zoning? I am sorry i am a bit confused as how to relate this with doubts of being in love with love.

The context is getting out of your own head when you're with other people.

Part of the trick about socialization skill is we tend to project what we think of someone and what we see as their personality is really our assumptions, often made at a glance and concluded to be something we're receiving from them. Social interaction is, to some extent vicarious.

If you're in a proverbial zen state of mind however, and simply absorbing someone's active presence rather than running through your regular thought processes and hoping you "get each other", you'll find much less preconception involved and far more confidence in how you feel around that person on any given day, as opposed to just that day due to any number of reasons that all essentially come from inside your own head.

Or back to the simple version, get out of your own head around others. If you're not confident about how you feel around them, then you're all up inside your own head instead of being present in front of them.

And if you're talking about messaging relationships where you haven't even met in person then it is completely a relationship with yourself and nobody else, it's a solitary activity and not social interaction, despite intellectual intercourse. You can have intellectual intercourse with the television or using roleplay, a doll if you don't mind looking a bit crazy if someone peeks in a window. Relationships begin and end in physical proximity, with LDR merely a mutually exercised, solitary activity.

I have given love much thought and I will say my favorites part of a relationship is the falling in love part. There is something about finding out what comes next on the journey that is very exciting.
But after many years in a relationship does your perception of love change? The most exciting part of love is making your partner happy and seeing her joy. You can love someone but if you do not see the happiness in the other person you can beat yourself up trying the gain their attention. But that is not really love. True love is when we see the happiness in the other person with all the things we do, and the things they do for you make you happy too. After time, doing the same things should not be boring. you should never tire of doing those things that make you both happy.
Beware that we all change over time. what we like and dislike it is just human nature. But if you are lucky and Love guides you you both will follow the same path and new passions you desire will be the same and love will continue

Loving life together. Life is a wonder and being together in that wonder makes love special.

Thank you sir your thoughts were like echoes ive heard from the past.

Beautiful

Exploring the wonders of love and all its possibilities. But it doesn’t always turn out special. Only the lucky few who knows what love is. Jmo

I do hope you only use messaging with online contacts as a preliminary to meeting in person and wait to size up your compatibility from there, scepticalsoulmate, since my impression of you is that you're quite a catch and I'd hate to see you diminished by entering a relationship on someone else's terms, where they're just seeking their own gains.

People who profess their true love in a purely online/messaging relationship from overseas are straight up giving you a great big red flag by showing they can't tell the difference between feelings they made up in their head all by their lonesome and feelings they think others are responsible for.
Take that scenario to an extreme, bad situation and you've got someone who may become violent with you for something they simply made up in their head, but believe you are responsible for.
It's a big red flag and it aint normal brain activity. I think you're better than being involve with that.

Meet first, then decide about someone and a person who doesn't do that, they're kind of not altogether safe because they just plain think wrong.

I sincerely thank you for your advice and good impression of me. Actually my profile name has a lot to do with how i am and my experiences on line. The red flags and situations are not new to me and living across the globe from most of the interested men who i find interesting too does give limited possibilities. Anyways, im here for the forums to learn and maybe somehow someday be with my dearest who will be my one last true love. not giving up just yet

I know that feeling quite well, being interested in somebody, having feelings for somebody, and then comes the harsh reality, that this person lives so far away. But I am not giving up either, coz I know, I deserve to be happy and I know, I can make my special someone very happy as well

love is life , love is soft , love is smooth , love is hard , love is chiki , love is everything that with doing u can maintain life and enjoy every moment in life...it is love through which u will be successful in life, because if someone in love he every time thinking that how he will success to catch his love.so with this he know everything about life that how in life we doing the things...so love is life which gain and gain