Topic: Men and their expectations ...
no photo
Tue 05/22/18 08:07 PM

Blondey my sweet NZ flower, no it is not unrealistic for him to want the total package. Why should he settle for only half of the package he wants? Sure, you only want the best for him but he is the only person that knows exactly what he wants. You need to let him make up his own mind. Give him advice, give him your opinion and let him know what you think of his choices but in the end let him have the final say.

P.S. I have a beach here also. I bought some sand from Walmart and spread it on my front lawn. laugh
poetry .. he has a stubborn streak like me .. I know better than to interfere in his love life .. I don't think it is unrealistic to want the total package .. he showed me her pic and I thought her face was entirely appropriate for her age . If he had said he didn't find her face attractive I could accept that ., more his wording and judgement of her face as old that disappointed me .,

Hope there is a pool to go with the sand poetry laugh laugh

no photo
Tue 05/22/18 08:14 PM

If it's just one woman younger than he it isn't a problem. If he isn't attracted to any women in their 40's, he will remain alone. At his age, his sex drive is getting lower and less a woman can do for him.
his wife was close in age .. I think he is realistic about age itself but perhaps not what normal ageing is . .. I haven't grilled him on his sex drive yet ., laughing ., saving that conversation for another time biggrin

no photo
Tue 05/22/18 08:21 PM


I have a single brother who is 51... quite handsome and athletic . However I worry he will remain single again forever .., he told me he met a woman last week who had a body to die for but her face looked old .. she was 40... He said the date went well and they seemed to get along .. but he was just not attracted enough .. , I gave him a sisterly slap and told him to get real !!!!

Is it unrealistic to want the total package .,,

i understand preferences and not wanting to settle ., but being realistic also has its benefits .


You cant force attraction, its either there or its not , Its not unrealistic to want to the total package when he probably has the total package,why settle and be left wondering why he settled.

I realize the NZ is a small place but who knows someone might vacation there and he happens to run into her somewhere.

This is how my sister met her hubby, he is from vancouver canada and he was on a business trip here when he met my sis at a coffee shop, a chance meeting.

5 years later, married and expecting their first child and she moved to Vancouver

Tell him not to give up.
laughing .. there are over 4 million people in little nz .. admittedly that can still be limiting depending on location .

I know attraction is very individual .. and I certainly don't want him to settle . Perhaps once I was over the initial shock .. I should have asked him to show me what a 40 year old face should look like :wink:



no photo
Tue 05/22/18 08:25 PM

Kind of a human thing, we're all looking for the best we can get. It's evolution despite how evolved ppl think they are LOL I've been told by women friends that they don't like to date men too good looking because of the competition of other women. drinker
waving I understand the whole evolutionary concept where attraction and mating are concerned ., you would think though that as we age our evolutionary drive would mellow .

no photo
Tue 05/22/18 08:39 PM

I worked with a guy who was a Pierce Brosnan double. love We were lunch buddies :wink: He was nearly 50 (I was a little older, not that it matters) . We took motorcycle lessons together, he to remember and I to learn how to ride a scooter.

He brought her to a special happy hour - she was average looking, thin/small ~~~ they both loved riding motorcycles and met that way. She was very interesting and very different from him. They did get married. It was good to see someone not decide to never marry.

He said all the model looking types were too shallow for him, not intellectual enough. We talked a lot at lunch about being single. It was good to hear a man's outlook.
there are many theories about mate attraction .... but they will always be just theories . Each of us has a unique chemical signature that definitely comes into play .. more than just pheromones but the chemical structure of our brain and senses .

I think he played James Bond .. suave and charming love

no photo
Tue 05/22/18 08:40 PM


I have a single brother who is 51... quite handsome and athletic . However I worry he will remain single again forever .., he told me he met a woman last week who had a body to die for but her face looked old .. she was 40... He said the date went well and they seemed to get along .. but he was just not attracted enough .. , I gave him a sisterly slap and told him to get real !!!!

Is it unrealistic to want the total package .,,

i understand preferences and not wanting to settle ., but being realistic also has its benefits .

Im single too bigsmile
ok .. but you have to endure a double date with me laugh laugh waving

MK2's photo
Tue 05/22/18 08:42 PM


from man point of veiw, we usually don't look at faces rofl
aww mankum I think you are right .. but at some point men do look at faces .. even if it is just when they open their eyes in the morning biggrin


Oops, I better shut my big mouth in order to keep it G rated flowers

no photo
Tue 05/22/18 08:43 PM
I always wonder if I hadn't slipped on some lettuce, in the company cafeteria, and my tray, dishes and food went flying, with me on the floor, if he might have asked me out.




* jk, no chemistry

no photo
Tue 05/22/18 08:45 PM

Is nightly mounting .75 of the month/year out of the question?..
or perhaps even more with someone of my contemporary age?
laugh Don't even dignify. I'm afraid of the answer either way.

laughing .. beach !!!!!! My advice go for an athletic woman .. that way she can increase your statistical aspirations laugh laugh

no photo
Tue 05/22/18 08:48 PM

Two options to counter an unattractive face....

1. Light switch.

2. Paper bag.



there are many other options rock .... According to the Kama sutra laugh

no photo
Tue 05/22/18 08:48 PM
oh, he was talking about a woman laugh

cajunman59's photo
Tue 05/22/18 08:50 PM


Kind of a human thing, we're all looking for the best we can get. It's evolution despite how evolved ppl think they are LOL I've been told by women friends that they don't like to date men too good looking because of the competition of other women. drinker
waving I understand the whole evolutionary concept where attraction and mating are concerned ., you would think though that as we age our evolutionary drive would mellow .



Naw, still humans,,,silly Rabi laugh

no photo
Tue 05/22/18 08:52 PM

I always wonder if I hadn't slipped on some lettuce, in the company cafeteria, and my tray, dishes and food went flying, with me on the floor, if he might have asked me out.




* jk, no chemistry
aww galaxy .., I hope he wiped you down as only a man can biggrin

no photo
Tue 05/22/18 08:55 PM
He can always pay for the nip-tuck to make it look better if she wants it done as well...


but I would guess that would turn her off if he is into just the looks...

no photo
Tue 05/22/18 08:56 PM

oh, he was talking about a woman laugh
laugh laughlaugh laugh
I wasn't biggrin

no photo
Tue 05/22/18 09:05 PM

He can always pay for the nip-tuck to make it look better if she wants it done as well...


but I would guess that would turn her off if he is into just the looks...
I think society in general has a warped view of ageing .. as more and more procedures are available ., I have a friend who pays $50 a month for eyelash extensions $600 a year for tattooed brows .. monthly facials at $200.. 3 monthly keratin hair treatments @ $300 each and that is just scratching the surface .. ... I know it is about self esteem and it makes her feel younger but she is in her 50's .. I just wonder without all the beauty aids available whether we would have a healthier perception of ageing ., Now .. have you booked your monthly spa tmt tongue2

no photo
Tue 05/22/18 09:11 PM
Every day I have an appointment in the dungeon spa...

I find the whipping really exfoliates the skin... laugh

no photo
Tue 05/22/18 09:15 PM



I have a single brother who is 51... quite handsome and athletic . However I worry he will remain single again forever .., he told me he met a woman last week who had a body to die for but her face looked old .. she was 40... He said the date went well and they seemed to get along .. but he was just not attracted enough .. , I gave him a sisterly slap and told him to get real !!!!

Is it unrealistic to want the total package .,,

i understand preferences and not wanting to settle ., but being realistic also has its benefits .

Im single too bigsmile
ok .. but you have to endure a double date with me laugh laugh waving

I would happily endure it bigsmile wavingflowerforyou i bet that date wouldn’t have any boring moment flowers

no photo
Tue 05/22/18 09:15 PM



I have a single brother who is 51... quite handsome and athletic . However I worry he will remain single again forever .., he told me he met a woman last week who had a body to die for but her face looked old .. she was 40... He said the date went well and they seemed to get along .. but he was just not attracted enough .. , I gave him a sisterly slap and told him to get real !!!!

Is it unrealistic to want the total package .,,

i understand preferences and not wanting to settle ., but being realistic also has its benefits .

Im single too bigsmile
ok .. but you have to endure a double date with me laugh laugh waving

I would happily endure it bigsmile wavingflowerforyou i bet that date wouldn’t have any boring moment flowers

Beachfarmer's photo
Tue 05/22/18 09:45 PM
I could flippantly comment on this whenever I have time to (and have once).

It sounds like your brother has done his due diligence. It's (as I have read) a reoccurring theme (of both sexes) not to "settle". Perhaps men ARE more superficial when it comes to this subject....but he has done the work?.......at least in one aspect of what women desire.

Despite all the caveats of emotional attraction and content of character....does he not "deserve" to be "picky"? (an often heard female mantra)