Topic: Striking a balance in #MeToo
msharmony's photo
Mon 09/24/18 04:08 AM
Since the headlines about Bill Cosby, it has troubled me how easily accusations can lead to guilt in the public (and also the official) courts.

Women literally have the power with mere words to ruin CERTAIN powerful men(others are still pretty much untouchable)

but on the other hand, it is also troubling that men can so easily and acceptably be excused from whorish behavior or even assault while the women they are with are shamed and demeaned instead.

So, if we accept that both men and women can behave like 'whores'. And if we accept that both men and women can exaggerate or lie(especially in this very attention driven culture) ... where is the balance?

Should we go back to teaching our young men to be gentelemen and our females to be ladies, at least as far as dating and intimate encounters are concerned?


Should we remove the spontanaeity of an intimate encounter by expecting some standard of what will or wont pass as 'consent'?


Do we just teach males to respect females and themselves, and females to respect males and themselves?

Where do we start, with such an anything goes casual encounter type culture, to begin diminishing the propensity for these things to happen?



Toodygirl5's photo
Mon 09/24/18 05:50 AM
Edited by Toodygirl5 on Mon 09/24/18 06:07 AM
Children mimic what their parents are/was While growing up.

When children become adults they make their own choices.

Cosby was a guilty old man ! What he did, he done for years as an adult

Battered abused, assulted women should Always speak up ASAP to someone that can make a difference!

#me too. (Just other Society gimic.) Media propaganda.




notbeold's photo
Mon 09/24/18 06:06 AM
I suggest an 'intimate encounter standardised consent form' in duplicate, or triplicate, or however many are involved, with tick boxes and initial boxes to lawfully denote who is willing to participate under which terms and conditions, and with whom, with which specific caveats in full force or under consideration.

I, John Notbeold do solemnly swear to observe and adhere to all of the the terms and conditions submitted (listed below) by . . . . . . . and . . . . . . and . . . . .
during the agreed intimate congress session with the abovementioned participants held on the . . . night/day of September in the year 2018, beginning at the time of . . . . and the agreement remaining in force until all participants indicate in writing any variance to the agreed terms and conditions.

Signed and dated, (and post office stamped) . . . . . . .

Agree to:
hold hands
kiss
use prophylactics
etc.

Do not agree to:
touch the abovementioned person known as . . . .
etc.

List of caveats:
not if they are eating; watching television . . .
and so on.

The form itself will act as disease protection and birth control since all amorous moods will be lost while filling out the paperwork.
laugh

msharmony's photo
Mon 09/24/18 07:11 AM
laugh laugh laugh

I like that last bit. lol

oldkid46's photo
Mon 09/24/18 07:37 AM
The "Me Too" movement has shown what a mess sexuality and intimacy are. Personally, I consider women a major part of that problem. Let me explain.... we have no universal standards as to what is acceptable; different women have different acceptable standards. Those acceptable standards change depending on who the male is. When a women wants to attract attention from a certain person, she tends to dress more provocatively and flirts more aggressively, if the wrong guy gives her significant attention, she calls it harassment.

For a young man, if 9 of 10 females accept his behavior but number 10 doesn't, is he wrong in what he has learned or is she wrong in what she believes? As an older male, if I comment on a nice butt, the age of the person I'm commenting on generally determines if she appreciates the compliment or takes it as offensive. The age of the women also has a significant difference in what those acceptable standards are. Most older women tend to ignore what is being said while many younger women take offense at the same words.

It is a mess and I'm afraid younger women are going to pay the price for "Me Too" in their working careers especially in those situations where networking or mentoring is essential. With the fear of being accused of something and the subsequent career destruction, more men are going to avoid any situation that could lead to an accusation.


msharmony's photo
Mon 09/24/18 08:43 AM
As a female, I totally understand the concern. I believe that those who take the slightest actions and compare them to and latch them onto more serious offense, do diminish the cause, so to speak.

I think words are not so much an offense if they are not INTENDED to offend(a different topic all together) and we sometimes overlook the intent and the context of an action in our perception of victimhood.

I think it would be a humorous experiment though, if women began mimicking the more 'harmless' actions and words that men employ regularly. I think we would all see more progress if we could lighten up with each other on the small things, so that the bigger things could get more of the focus they deserve.


Tom4Uhere's photo
Mon 09/24/18 09:44 AM
Edited by Tom4Uhere on Mon 09/24/18 09:50 AM
I think #MeToo is a power/fame, money/punishment game that is played. You don't see many (if any) #MeToo situations involving rich, powerful women going after poor, forgotten men. If we did, then there might be something important happening. The target has to have something the #MeToo "victim" wants. They have to stand to gain 'something' or the effort is not worth the reward. How many worthless, homeless men have you read about in that type of situation?

In my opinion (yes, I am a man), I see no reason why we shouldn't teach and demonstrate respect for everyone, no matter their gender. Respecting someone as a person doesn't automatically make you agree with how that person acts or what they say. It just means that you respect them as individuals just like you are an individual.

Its never going to happen because people are shallow and selfish. People exist in a one-sided view of the world where they think that everyone is there for them. Its a ME, ME, ME world. Narcissism instead of Alturism.

Nearly everything we see in the media and advertising we are constantly bombarded with is narcissistic. That's because to get you to buy into their ideas or buy their products they need to convince you that it is for your benefit.
Narcissistic ideals are taught all thru life. Do this and you get this, say that and you get that. People are so conditioned to it they don't register when the
do this/say that doesn't work. They think they must have done something wrong so they try harder. Then people get offended, hurt and ruined in the process.

I don't think there is a modern overall solution to the problem. The solution has to come from within.
Mainly because as soon as someone tries to force someone else to think, do or say anything it offends their sense of individual freedom that is not being respected.
Its a condition of uroborus that feeds on itself but in a destructive way. Ouroboros represents a universal cycle of renewal but the same representation viewed from a negative perspective is destructive.

I believe the solution to many of our society's problems can't be taught directly. In my opinion, the values need to be taught so, once learned, individuals can make the right decisions.
We do live in a ME,ME,ME life. We live from only behind our own eyes.
People seem to forget that when encountering others.

indianadave4's photo
Tue 09/25/18 09:45 PM

Since the headlines about Bill Cosby, it has troubled me how easily accusations can lead to guilt in the public (and also the official) courts.

Women literally have the power with mere words to ruin CERTAIN powerful men(others are still pretty much untouchable)

but on the other hand, it is also troubling that men can so easily and acceptably be excused from whorish behavior or even assault while the women they are with are shamed and demeaned instead.

So, if we accept that both men and women can behave like 'whores'. And if we accept that both men and women can exaggerate or lie(especially in this very attention driven culture) ... where is the balance?

Should we go back to teaching our young men to be gentelemen and our females to be ladies, at least as far as dating and intimate encounters are concerned?


Should we remove the spontanaeity of an intimate encounter by expecting some standard of what will or wont pass as 'consent'?


Do we just teach males to respect females and themselves, and females to respect males and themselves?

Where do we start, with such an anything goes casual encounter type culture, to begin diminishing the propensity for these things to happen?





We, as a country, began to abandon these principles you've mentioned in the late 60's. Anyone who opposes the current sex/violence in our media and life style are accused of being NAZI like. "You're trying to take my rights away"! Today's social ills are a product of the morals and ethics of the last 40 years. Most under the age of 30 have learned their conflict resolution abilities from social media and video games.


msharmony's photo
Wed 09/26/18 04:10 AM
I agree. something needs to change in the social thread. I feel media impacts that alot, but Im not sure if media is pushing us forward in terms of ethics and morals, I fear they are taking the most unethical and amoral and entertaining us with it and we are chosing to be entertained by it.

Im in no way saying it is the media's fault, but they are certainly a catalyst. Its like having a pet allergy, its not the pets, fault. It is your systems reaction to it. but the pet is a catalyst for the reaction.

I think there could have been no worse combination than the trends that made all parents have to work and leave the kids to their environment and the media, at the same time that the media began to abandon promotion of 'values' or community unity and family values, for the age of 'just take care of you and yours, just earn money and/or be attractive, and no one else is your problem."






Tom4Uhere's photo
Wed 09/26/18 10:21 AM

I agree. something needs to change in the social thread. I feel media impacts that alot, but Im not sure if media is pushing us forward in terms of ethics and morals, I fear they are taking the most unethical and amoral and entertaining us with it and we are chosing to be entertained by it.

Im in no way saying it is the media's fault, but they are certainly a catalyst. Its like having a pet allergy, its not the pets, fault. It is your systems reaction to it. but the pet is a catalyst for the reaction.

I think there could have been no worse combination than the trends that made all parents have to work and leave the kids to their environment and the media, at the same time that the media began to abandon promotion of 'values' or community unity and family values, for the age of 'just take care of you and yours, just earn money and/or be attractive, and no one else is your problem."

There's truth in what you write.
I offer some thoughts for consideration.

Media, has a motive.
It has an agenda that is slanted to always benefit itself.
It plays you to get you to want more of it.
It will do whatever it takes to get you to 'tune in'.

Imagine you are doing some grocery shopping and you enter the store and every product is packaged the same. The only way to tell who makes it is to flip it over and read the information label. On the front, all the packaging is the same colors, same font, and if you're buying crackers...has CRACKERS in bold letters but all packaging/labeling for crackers is exactly the same.
Advertising (a form of media) works because it appeals to you in such a way that you want to choose one brand over another.
Its only reason for existing is to make money FROM you.

Other media has the same agenda.
If they provide you with what you want and you 'click thru' or 'tune in', they are getting what they need from you.
It doesn't matter what their content is as long as that content causes you to use them for a source.

Those powers that be, know people are attracted to strife and negativity. They know you will sooner tune into an injustice than an example of morality. Sheeple blindly accept the garbage they are given and fail to notice it for the garbage that it is.
How many times had you heard that The Jerry Springer show was good? What makes an investigative show good? What makes a NEWS show good?
People 'tune in' to negativity for entertainment so the media provides negativity.
Then, after being bombarded by all this negativity and manipulation people sit and wonder why their lives are such a mess and things are so way out of whack. They fail to consider the source and face a garbage in / garbage out lifestyle.

Ya gotta step away from it to see it but few are willing to step away.
You can back step on a conveyor belt and still move toward the blades.
You only find relief when you jump off the conveyor. Then, it takes a special kind of insanity to climb back on.
Once you're off that conveyor you see the people riding and try to tell them to jump off but they won't. Some will even fight you to stay on there.
There is no solution because no matter how many people you get off the conveyor there are more and more coming and they put their children right up there with them.


actionlynx's photo
Wed 09/26/18 01:14 PM
Has anyone checked out some of the lectures being offered for Women's Studies at colleges and universities?

If not, some are available online. Once you watch a bunch of them, you'll notice a very scary pattern. There are some very radical and outlandish ideas being taught to young women. It has been going on for decades now.

Sadly, that also means there is an equal-but-opposite backlash.

Add in what OldKid mentioned, such as age factor, and it really is a mess.

To be honest, all the feminist garbage from the radicals messed up my head as a young man. I didn't know how to approach women because I didn't know how they would react. I most certainly did not want to be falsely labeled.