" Guy: And you are the first person I started talking to on this dating site, if truly you are after a serious relationship we can give it a try to see what future hold for us both, hope to hear from you soon

Girl: Time will tell us both the truth of all things. I am very honest, blunt, loyal and don't take crap from no one. I hope you can handle that? I am here for a serious relationship with no games or scams. I want a partner who allows me to be who I am. I want a partner who lights me from within as I do him. A partner will share my hope, dreams and expectations for the future.

Guy: First of all you have to submit your self to me and let go off your past life for us to move on with our self and make a new home together because all I need from you now is just a relationship that will last till the end of time for us to be there for one another in good and also in hard times.

Girl: I don't submit to anyone. I choose who I want to be with or not be with. You must not of read my prior message.

Guy: Drop your cellphone number for us both to text one another to see what the future hold for us"



RED Flags all over this one for me. A girlfriend of mine sent this to me and asked do you think this guy is real?
Sereiously?

Red flags on both sides; full of assumptions by each and lack of clarification on meanings.
dangerous statements:
"I want a partner who allows me to be who I am."
"First of all you have to submit your self to me and let go off your past life"

Who would be interested in either one?

My thoughts exactly. They both appear demanding and non cooperative. Assuming the worst from the start. Even before the cell number bit.

Real Tx Girl, tell your girlfriend that this guy is a keeper

Does he like turtles?

Despite all the red flags, what's worse is that there are real people who are like this as well.

Scary stuff.

No getting to know each other. Just looking for a mail order bride. Like they feel social or familial pressure to hurry up and get married. And because of those pressures, everything becomes about him, not you.

I would say there's maybe 4 to 1 odds of a scam, but that still leaves a 20% chance that he's for real.

Scary either way.

From what I read he wants sex and will see if he wants a relationship later. I would stop answering his text. Guys who are serious ask the woman out. Ask her about her interest, job, family,etc. The guy wants the cookie without the expensive and time of dating.

Yep, you got that right. I told her some are real people not out to harm, scam or hurt you. Be cautious and be careful what you say and by no means give out anything of a personal nature.

Maybe

Yeah, right

Okay what is this crap about someone 'allowing' someone else
to be who they are?

Never let anyone take that from you, even with consent.
It bespeaks cultural differences also..a quagmire.

Reckon I wasn't first to message you, but think I was the one that pulled you out of the dark side and guided you in the better direction, if you're going stay. May go another direction myself. Maybe one of self examination of my spirit and soul.

I agree, one should never give up there identity per say. I asked her about what she meant by that statement. It's very, misleading. She wants some who can appreciate her flaws and still love her anyway.

I think all of us want that to some extent, she just needs to clarify her statement and soften it so it doesn't sound so harsh.

For me personally it shows domination in any culture. It may be acceptable in some cultures but, not for me. I'm too dang independent for that. JS

I believe partners should be equal. Each taking their turn at leading, guiding and supporting the relationship. Sure there will be times that one or the other will take the lead for a longer period of time but, that's to be expected in any long term relationship.

For one partner to be in total control as this guys statement suggest is not something I personally would consider. As for my friend she is still to naïve and not as strong of a person as she thinks, and this could lead to disaster for her.

That's what the scammers are looking for someone weak, naïve and in some cases desperate for love and attention because they feel that is what will make them feel fulfilled not realizing they are putting themselves in danger.

I sure hope this whole thread helps some one. I know that their are others out there just like my friend falling for stuff like this. I hate to see an innocent person getting hurt by people.

I maybe a hard nosed **tch at times but, I stand up for those who can't or don't know how too.

Thank you all for your comments. I have passed them on to her so she can see it's not just me who sees the red flags early on.

Your a great group with good insights for her too see besides my own.

Mind you I only gave you the start of her conversation. There was way more with even worse red flags.

I wouldn't say *she's* demanding...

She wants someone that doesn't want to changer her to suit them...
She's simply stating who she is, and that she is not interested in someone's BS...
She said: " I am very honest, blunt, loyal and don't take crap from no one."
If he's looking for a sbmissive woman who will do his biding..she's clearly saying that ain't her.

She states:"I am here for a serious relationship with no games or scams."
Nothing wrong with that...NO ONE is interested in game-playing or scammers..

She says: "I want a partner who allows me to be who I am.""
Again..she wants someone that isn't going to try and change her to suit them...nothing wrong there..no one wants that.

And, this?
"I want a partner who lights me from within as I do him. A partner will share my hope, dreams and expectations for the future. "

Dang near everuone wants that....nothing wrong there either..

HE is is the demanding on with his "submit" BS and wanting her cell number right asway..
Dude..I don't even give people IRL my number right away...
Patience is a virtue...nothing wrong with chatting on the site for a while...helps you decipher if they are scammers or not..

Well, we both have the same instinct on this one from the start.

I really appreciate your feedback. Having this type of talk coming for a complete stranger is very scary and cause for concern for anyone.

It's just some people don't realize the danger it can lead too.

scammer

He doesn't. sound Serious, if she wants Sincere man !!

When I talk with men online I am myself . So when we meet there is no surprise character.

Unfortunately, some run before any meeting in person. That's okay I don't have time to play games.

I 've still had nice dates.

Online is not that difficult when you already had Experience dating!

IMO