I've read where some people here have done that...as well as saw some stories over in the "Success Stories" section..

How did you manage to start it?

I occasionally send guys quite a ways away that seem to share a lot in common with me a message...
I even mention "would readily relocate if the situation was right"..
(so they know I am not opposed to that)

Either no reply (guess they weren't interested, which is fine), or "too far"..

How did YOU guys manage to get someone far away to talk to you...without them blowing it off/ saying "no" right away due to distance?

Thanks!

I met guys far away from my City, and they traveled here first to meet me.

One lived 800, miles away and one lived 1200 + miles Away. These men had traveled other places long distance for meeting, which were Dates, they stayed in a hotel.

Just emailed for a while and talked on the phone for Weeks before any meetings.

Most men don't want to travel to meet any Woman from Online.

I only date older men that maybe make a difference, they often times are seeking a relationship. But I wasn't In love with the men I have met long distance . However, they were very nice. I know it can happen.

I also met men , 2 hrs and 4 hrs away.

Key is be on the Right dating site. Most Free sites you cannot find it.

Possible but rarely.

I'm not trying to meet someone from another country. I was talking with a guy from another for about a year and I had contacted him first. I did invite him to visit me. He had been to the United States before, so I thought he'd be up for it. Nothing happened with that. We haven't been in contact for a long time

Once you learn how to separate the wheat from
the chaff, the task of finding someone,
becomes so much easier.

I no longer do the LDR thing.

After a certain age, most people are not going to move to another country. I talk with people from other countries but I know I'll never move out of the USA, because I like it here.

OK, well..let me restate it.

For those who have had *SUCCESS* with devolping a relationship with someone far away (either several states away...or overseas...) wherein it progressed to something long term/marriage..
And, again..in the "Success Stories" section, as well as a few *here* have alluded to..it does happen.

How were you able to even get a conversation going without them either ignoring you (presumedly because of distance)..or just a curt "too far"..?

I am not interested in opinions on why *you* wouldn't do it, thanks..
That's not what this post is about, and is off topic.

well for me it started here in the forums, then progressed to private messaging and finally skype

If someone is really sincerely looking for a relationship with someone than distance should not make a difference.

It starts with just a simple message. Start by getting to know each other. Sharing stories of things you have in common and getting to know each others likes and dislikes. It's really the same as in the real world. Although on line it is harder to get those over a distance to communicate if they don't want to because they feel distance is an obstacle to them.

Finding someone whom is willing to put in the effort and not afraid to step out of there comfort zone can take time. Unfortunately, some of us don't feel we have the time to take on a LDR and end up spending more time excluding people just because of distance.

My fiance and I have been communicating for over 37 years most of it has been LD. It has not stopped us from communicating and sharing life together. It is very possible it's just a matter of how committed a person is to finding what they are seeking and then realizing it may just be in front of them despite distance.

JMO

With my last girlfriend, she didn't even live in the U.S. when we began talking. However, her mother lived just 100 miles away from me. Her mom had been pressuring her to move here, but she was resisting for various reasons. Once she got to know me though, she began changing her mind. Eventually she moved to be with her mom until she could get herself established.

Keep in mind though, she approached me first. Also, she made the move with her own money. I didn't pay for her. She wanted it that way. It was about trust. She was proving herself worthy of it.


I briefly had met another woman from outside the U.S. However, her job was such that she could move here pretty much whenever she wanted to. She was from the Philippines, but had worked in Japan and a few other countries. At that time, she was working in Israel. We did video chat on a regular basis. And again, she was the one who approached me first.


Because of forum rules, I really can't go into specific details. That would be not just disrespectful but a violation of their privacy.


I don't see the problem being one of initiating conversation. It's more about testing genuine sincerity and proving trust to each other. If both people are honest, genuine, sincere, and trustworthy, then they will find a way to be together without having to ask the other for any assistance. Therefore, the problem is really one of trust -- which I've mentioned elsewhere is the key component to a healthy LDR.

Real Tx Girl:
I think what you said is a big part of it.
"Finding someone whom is willing to put in the effort and not afraid to step out of there comfort zone can take time. Unfortunately, some of us don't feel we have the time to take on a LDR and end up spending more time excluding people just because of distance.

My fiance and I have been communicating for over 37 years most of it has been LD. It has not stopped us from communicating and sharing life together. It is very possible it's just a matter of how committed a person is to finding what they are seeking and then realizing it may just be in front of them despite distance."


I can't even get a conversation *started*..they blow it off like I said in my original post.
And I first make sure we have things in common..I do not message blank profiles.

(Even local dudes kvetch about the distance..anything more than 20-30 miles is "too far"..)


actionlynx:

"I don't see the problem being one of initiating conversation. It's more about testing genuine sincerity and proving trust to each other."

I wish I could get that far...

Long distance relations is hard. I think it's difficult even when it's the next city. Trust is of course important in every relations, but I guess it's more of an issue when not living near each other.

Being Norwegian and currently living here I don't expect to engage in a long distance relationship. Even though I would relocate. But friendship shouldn't be impossible?

Have you considered that the problem is not you?

We live in a society that constantly craves instant gratification. LDRs don't provide that. They require patience and maturity instead.

If lack of trust is the top reason why LDRs fail, then impatience runs a close second. Most people want someone NOW. They may not be pursuing sex, but they might be desiring companionship or an activity partner. Those are two things you don't get immediately with an LDR, and might only get occasionally (if at all) during the length of the LDR.

Let's face it: loneliness sucks. Most people want to end it as quickly as possible.

What they don't realize is that with the right tact, an LDR can be very rewarding. In fact, it can make that feeling of loneliness disappear. There are ways to feel closer to a person than distance actually allows. That's why my ex and I talked everyday, even if it was only for 15 minutes. Sometimes we would call each other at wake up time. Other times we would call at bedtime. There was no set time of the day for talking. Yet little things like that made a real difference. I even filmed a snowstorm, and sent it to her so her daughter could watch the snow falling. We exchanged A LOT of photos, which enabled us to share with each other snippets of our daily lives, like when I would go hiking and decide to climb the rocks. I sent her pictures of the rocks and the caves that once were used by the indigenous peoples in my area.

When it comes right down to it, most people do not know how to handle an LDR. It requires a lot of give and take on top of everything else.

My ex is a very special person. She always will be. But an LDR requires 2 very special people just to work. Otherwise, only one person will be doing all the work. Without reciprocation and matching effort, trust will begin eroding, dooming the LDR to failure.

actionlynx...

Hello