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Topic: How good are you at flirting?
SparklingCrystal 💖💎's photo
Tue 04/30/19 10:03 AM
How good are you at flirting?
Now there are as I see it different levels of flirting, for instance
- flirting when you haven't a love interest in the person
- flirting when you do have a love interest in the person
- "forced" flirting, like on a dating site, wanting to come across as fun/interesting
- flirting that goes too far (sexual intent)

Personally I find flirting difficult, unless it happens by itself. Now if you want to date it usually doesn't (yet).
Now I realize that it isn't interesting to talk about boring chit like "Oh, I put the bin out today and work was horrible." Nobody cares about that.
I've got plenty of interesting things to talk about, but with a new person I find it difficult.

I can be very lighthearted & playful, flirty, but usually once I've gotten to know someone at least a little bit, so there's a level of comfort.

How is this for you? Does it come easy for you? Don't you do it at all, and if so, how does that pan out with dating? And so on...

Larsi666 😽's photo
Tue 04/30/19 10:10 AM
The more serious it gets, the worse I get. Blabbering in at least two different languages, falling over flower pots and advertising boards and other hillarious things what

Karyzmatik's photo
Tue 04/30/19 10:12 AM
LoL that was funny. I think we can all relate to that! Flirting can be tricky - I am a dating coach, and this is a question I get a lot. The main advice I always give is to make it as natural as possible, and try to make it play to your strengths. There is also a major difference between men and women, and how to give the right vibe. Women are usually better communicators by nature, so they generally hold an advantage in this department.

no photo
Tue 04/30/19 10:33 AM
I'm not sure. I haven't tried in 26 years lol.

Riverspirit1111's photo
Tue 04/30/19 11:20 AM

How good are you at flirting?
Now there are as I see it different levels of flirting, for instance
- flirting when you haven't a love interest in the person
- flirting when you do have a love interest in the person
- "forced" flirting, like on a dating site, wanting to come across as fun/interesting
- flirting that goes too far (sexual intent)

Personally I find flirting difficult, unless it happens by itself. Now if you want to date it usually doesn't (yet).
Now I realize that it isn't interesting to talk about boring chit like "Oh, I put the bin out today and work was horrible." Nobody cares about that.
I've got plenty of interesting things to talk about, but with a new person I find it difficult.

I can be very lighthearted & playful, flirty, but usually once I've gotten to know someone at least a little bit, so there's a level of comfort.

How is this for you? Does it come easy for you? Don't you do it at all, and if so, how does that pan out with dating? And so on...


It's pretty much the same with me Crystal... I find it difficult unless it just happens or progresses towards that when interacting with a man.

If I feel comfortable with someone I can also be playful and flirty but mostly will only do so with a man I have an interest in. I am not one to flirt for amusement or casually with just anyone. I see flirting as being playful with someone you're attracted to and tend to believe they are attracted to me if they flirt. It's quite a downer when you realize they were flirting just to amuse themselves.

The only exception to this is if I have a platonic friendship with a man and we've known each other long enough to know that we are just playing around... neither takes it serious so there's no chance of a misunderstanding thinking there's more to it.

Online, particularly here on Mingle, I have practiced the forced flirting because it doesn't come natural and I wanted to change that, haha. But even here I tend to do so only with the ones I would consider dating, or one or two I've known since I've joined and are just friends with.

Funny though, when it comes to early stages of dating or if I flirt with someone I like and he ends up liking me back or wanting to date... I suddenly freeze up and become speechless, haha. Unfortunately they tend to not understand that and think I'm being stand offish. It's very frustrating at times. I guess that's just the way it goes, we suddenly feel awkward... but I believe the ones that really matter will hang in there until that awkwardness subsides.... hopefully, haha!

SparklingCrystal 💖💎's photo
Tue 04/30/19 11:25 AM

The more serious it gets, the worse I get. Blabbering in at least two different languages, falling over flower pots and advertising boards and other hillarious things what

Grin, I can almost see that happen. But you know, that can be very adorable, Larsi. flowerforyou

SparklingCrystal 💖💎's photo
Tue 04/30/19 11:28 AM

LoL that was funny. I think we can all relate to that! Flirting can be tricky - I am a dating coach, and this is a question I get a lot. The main advice I always give is to make it as natural as possible, and try to make it play to your strengths. There is also a major difference between men and women, and how to give the right vibe. Women are usually better communicators by nature, so they generally hold an advantage in this department.

Yes, I agree. But communicating itself isn't a problem really, it's the flirting stuff. In a way I see that as different. Maybe it is, maybe it isn't.
I'm actually wondering how feminine energy it is to flirt? In a way it is like shifting more into your inner masculine energy, and I'm not so comfortable with that.
Anywho, I'll give it some thought :)

SparklingCrystal 💖💎's photo
Tue 04/30/19 11:29 AM

I'm not sure. I haven't tried in 26 years lol.


Wow... that is a long time, hihi.

SparklingCrystal 💖💎's photo
Tue 04/30/19 11:32 AM

It's pretty much the same with me Crystal... I find it difficult unless it just happens or progresses towards that when interacting with a man.

If I feel comfortable with someone I can also be playful and flirty but mostly will only do so with a man I have an interest in. I am not one to flirt for amusement or casually with just anyone. I see flirting as being playful with someone you're attracted to and tend to believe they are attracted to me if they flirt. It's quite a downer when you realize they were flirting just to amuse themselves.

The only exception to this is if I have a platonic friendship with a man and we've known each other long enough to know that we are just playing around... neither takes it serious so there's no chance of a misunderstanding thinking there's more to it.

Online, particularly here on Mingle, I have practiced the forced flirting because it doesn't come natural and I wanted to change that, haha. But even here I tend to do so only with the ones I would consider dating, or one or two I've known since I've joined and are just friends with.

Funny though, when it comes to early stages of dating or if I flirt with someone I like and he ends up liking me back or wanting to date... I suddenly freeze up and become speechless, haha. Unfortunately they tend to not understand that and think I'm being stand offish. It's very frustrating at times. I guess that's just the way it goes, we suddenly feel awkward... but I believe the ones that really matter will hang in there until that awkwardness subsides.... hopefully, haha!

Yes, I'm not good at the so called "forced flirting" either. With some people it just happens naturally, you bounce off of each other and it's great fun. I know, cos I've been there.
But as it is, I'm so rusty that I need a whole lot of WD40 haha

Sammy Dan's photo
Tue 04/30/19 11:33 AM
Probably not worth a hoot. Totally out of practice on this. Awkward might be a better description. It's not that I lack confidence, I don't. Just been a long time with no need of it. Now finding that track again a bit of slow go.

Riverspirit1111's photo
Tue 04/30/19 11:36 AM


LoL that was funny. I think we can all relate to that! Flirting can be tricky - I am a dating coach, and this is a question I get a lot. The main advice I always give is to make it as natural as possible, and try to make it play to your strengths. There is also a major difference between men and women, and how to give the right vibe. Women are usually better communicators by nature, so they generally hold an advantage in this department.

Yes, I agree. But communicating itself isn't a problem really, it's the flirting stuff. In a way I see that as different. Maybe it is, maybe it isn't.
I'm actually wondering how feminine energy it is to flirt? In a way it is like shifting more into your inner masculine energy, and I'm not so comfortable with that.
Anywho, I'll give it some thought :)


Good point Crystal... makes me wonder about that too. Traditionally it was the man who initiated interest in the woman by giving her attention... flirting is another form of wooing. Wooing or trying to win over the woman of your affection is considered a masculine act, at least I think so.

Although when women dropped their handkerchiefs in order to get the man to initiate, wouldn't that be considered flirting?

Riverspirit1111's photo
Tue 04/30/19 11:38 AM


Yes, I'm not good at the so called "forced flirting" either. With some people it just happens naturally, you bounce off of each other and it's great fun. I know, cos I've been there.
But as it is, I'm so rusty that I need a whole lot of WD40 haha


Haha, you and me both!

no photo
Tue 04/30/19 11:42 AM
I flirt a lot and I love it! It comes pretty naturally for me that my dates would think that I'm flirting even I'm not.i think you should flirt only if you're comfortable doing it. I've had a few incidents where flirting took things a bit too far and I felt guilty afterwards but luckily i dont let my defences down.:stuck_out_tongue_winking_eye: I dont think flirting brings out your masculine energy, I think its actually more feminine to flirt. But my recommendation, do what you feel comfortable doing. Good luck!

no photo
Tue 04/30/19 11:44 AM
I wonder if there's an app for practicing flirting techniques.
Flirt 1.0 or something.

no photo
Tue 04/30/19 11:50 AM

I wonder if there's an app for practicing flirting techniques.
Flirt 1.0 or something.

Ha ha ha. Flirting should be natural just like sex

Riverspirit1111's photo
Tue 04/30/19 11:54 AM

I wonder if there's an app for practicing flirting techniques.
Flirt 1.0 or something.


Not sure about the app steve, but there is a thread here called Flirting 101, haha. It might take a while to find it and I don't remember which forum it was in. Was a fun thread. :)

I'm sure Youtube has some fun videos and there's free downloadable books on google.

no photo
Tue 04/30/19 11:54 AM


I wonder if there's an app for practicing flirting techniques.
Flirt 1.0 or something.

Ha ha ha. Flirting should be natural just like sex


lol is there an app for that too
Or a refresher course or something.

RupertBearz's photo
Tue 04/30/19 11:54 AM
I'm usually too shy to flirt, but I can flirt once I become a little bit comfortable with the woman I'm with.

no photo
Tue 04/30/19 11:56 AM


I wonder if there's an app for practicing flirting techniques.
Flirt 1.0 or something.


Not sure about the app steve, but there is a thread here called Flirting 101, haha. It might take a while to find it and I don't remember which forum it was in. Was a fun thread. :)

I'm sure Youtube has some fun videos and there's free downloadable books on google.


Mm flirting 101 you say...

Greenerpastures's photo
Tue 04/30/19 12:30 PM
naha, no good at it, I can't whistle either

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