Paddy and Murphy fancy a pint but only have a £1 between them.

Paddy goes off and buys a sausage.

Murphy says "Are you mad? Now we're broke."

"Come on" says Paddy "Follow me"

They go into the pub order two pints and drink them before they pay.

Paddy shoves the sausage through the zipper on his jeans and tells Murphy to get down on his knees and suck it.

The barman goes berserk and throws them out.

10 pubs and 10 pints later Murphy says "I can't do this no more, my knees are sore and I'm pissed."

"How do you think I feel?" Says Paddy. "I can't even remember what pub I lost the sausage in."

Ooooh maaaan!

where do you get this stuff from????

Too many bars and gin joints

:

been in a few a those meself. but must a been the wrong ones.

Paddy was selling his pet python on ebay.

Some bloke rang him up and asked "Is it big?"

Paddy said. "Massive."

The bloke says "How many feet?"

Paddy say "None, it's fecking snake ya eejit!"

It's only the 9th and this is strides ahead as joke of the month

Just passing on the giggles..

and dodging the peanut shell with that last one

Giggles appreciated

And I hid Eric's peanut shells so keep the jokes rolling

Mick and Paddy are working in England, and on a day off they take a wander round the local cemetery.

While reading the grave stones Paddy shouts to Mick "There's a guy here lived to he was 157."

Mick shouts back" What's his name?"

"Miles from Southport." Says Paddy..

*Backs out of the room*

i only throw them after the bad jokes

My champion Kit..