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| Topic: Regarding The "Age" Issue.... | |
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and your son? well you seem to have it well off so obviously he came from a better off family
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I think it's fair to say we are all guilty of making generalizations and failing to individualize things as we whine and complain about "you ppl". As a sociology major working on psychology, I constantly have to re-set the boxes I think in and my perspectives. I think having a family at any age is monumental, and the older you get the more you're able to recogize the gift children are in our lives because we've just been able to mature and stabilize. That does not mean ppl cannot have and raise children at any age, or do a beautiful job with it. The truth is, age is a number and there are many, many factors that everyone has to take into account. Jistme- congratulations on your getting so much time borrowed. Your overdue fees must be astronomical. 
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Edited by
Jistme
on
Fri 12/21/07 09:08 AM
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yes but you're also 44 how many careers are available in 2007 for a person at age 19? In this day and age you NEED a degree to start a business or have a real career. Dude.. I think your ability to listen is broke! |
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Your brother should be kicked to the curb and when his wounds heal he my realize that the challenge should be about survival. You young man need to decide what you want in life and do it soon. I'm not well off but I am comfortable and my son came from me only. His father was a drunken druggie.
Good luck in what you choose to do and do it with all ya got. The relationship can wait until you establish yourself in which time your chioce of a partner will be greater |
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I have a serious question relating to a particular phenomenon I have noticed whenever the "age" issue comes up. We've had a lot of threads about age differences in the year that I've been here, and this one point puzzles me. A lot of people will say: "Age is just a number." OK, that makes sense to me, and that's my own personal philosophy. But then there are others who say: "Age is just a number, but I wouldn't date anyone as young as my kids." Or: "Age is just a number but I wouldn't date anyone as old as my dad." This seems like a contradiction to me. Because, if age is just a number, then aren't the ages of your kids or your mom or your dad just numbers too? Or is there some sort of subliminal taboo that kicks in, some sort of "projection," whereby a person dating someone young enough to be their own child, or old enough to be their own parent, has subconscious thoughts that this is essentially the same AS dating their own child or parent? It makes no sense to me -- the concept that "because person A is the same age as person B (who is related to me in some way), I cannot date person A" -- but maybe that's just because I never had kids, and my parents have been dead for a long time. I don't know. When I see people make these statements in the forums, they always seem to come across more as a "Ewwwwwwwwww!" reflex than as a considered and thought-out position. Just wondering how others would see this.... |
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Lex..
I've read some of the responses on this...I agree with what you say... I suppose some people have paradoxical "views" on certain things...speak with fork tongues...In other words, they say one thing, but mean something entirely different?!.... Then again, you should consider the source...I bet that if this person met someone who was significantly older or younger but there was a STRONG chemistry, attraction, etc; they too would throw the "age" theory out the window....just my opinion, I could be wrong, there is a first time..lol..j/k.. There are alot of things that are said on here that confuses me to no end..  ...but I suppose that's the way it is on here..
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Afterthought..
I wouldn't date a "kid"...I have boundaries and for me that would be pushing the envelope....but I have dated younger men, but hey, they can drive..and drink (not that I drink, at least rarely, only on socially)..  It's all about maturity....connection with the other person,etc;... 
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Age Matters....Go onto any dating site....The huge majority of people stipulate an age range.....And when it actually comes to dating I would gather that the age range most likely decreases in size.... there are always exceptions....generally, truthfully, Age Does Matter.... |
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Age Matters....Go onto any dating site....The huge majority of people stipulate an age range.....And when it actually comes to dating I would gather that the age range most likely decreases in size.... there are always exceptions....generally, truthfully, Age Does Matter.... Yep...Well said..
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Thanks Moodygrl....here's back at ya
Age Matters....Go onto any dating site....The huge majority of people stipulate an age range.....And when it actually comes to dating I would gather that the age range most likely decreases in size.... there are always exceptions....generally, truthfully, Age Does Matter.... Yep...Well said.. |
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AGE IS JUST A NUMBER.....THE PROBLEM IS, IS THAT EVERYONE CHOOSES A DIFFERENT NUMBER, THAT THEY WOULD RATHER HAVE. FOR ME IT IS MORE OF A GENERATION THING. THOSE OF MY GENERATION, UNDERSTANDS ME BETTER, HAS THE SAME GOALS, THE SAME NEEDS, WANTS AND DESIRES. Well I go with Tigerman on this one to me age is what each person makes of it. But in noooooooooooooooo way will I date someone the same age as my kids it just ain't gonna happen and have no desire to date someone more than 12 years older either. That is just me and my opinion. As far as any one else hey go with what feels right to you that is all that matters anyway. I SECOND THAT!!!!
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Age makes a difference. And, as to someone who doesn't have kids, it's harder for them to relate to someone who does. I've been through this personally. No offense, but sometimes the person who has never married, nor has kids, has no clue how to share. This has been something that I learned. As a mother of two, my kids aren't "baggage" either. That's another thing that irks me.
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Age makes a difference. And, as to someone who doesn't have kids, it's harder for them to relate to someone who does. I've been through this personally. No offense, but sometimes the person who has never married, nor has kids, has no clue how to share. This has been something that I learned. As a mother of two, my kids aren't "baggage" either. That's another thing that irks me. Well, the whole point in asking the question was that I was trying to understand what one person's age (referencing a child or parent) has to do with the ability to date someone else that same age. And, somewhere along the line, the question got sidetracked and diverted into the standard "let's bash other generations" rant that seems to pervade any sort of age-related topic....! OK, I should have expected that. But here's my point -- we all have preferences, and that's an individual thing, and they shouldn't be criticized by anyone else. My position on the age thing, has always been that it IS just a number -- but there are other factors in play, too, and some of those may involve a sort of "age overlap." For example, I don't see myself being with someone who is 85 -- I've always said that diapers, on either end of the scale, would be a problem -- but that's an individual preference issue, and not a "blanket policy" issue. If my friend wants to be with someone 85, I would support that, even if I didn't really understand it. Gangsta raised the point -- one I hadn't thought of before -- that people could use the child/parent age parameter as an excuse to justify a prejudice that might otherwise be perceived as shallowness or narrowmindedness. I don't know if this is true or not, but it does make sense in the context of people making and using excuses for their behaviors. RS, I've been married, and I've had a dozen live-in girlfriends. It isn't about "sharing" for me. But I've never had kids, and I never will, and maybe that's why I have no frame of reference on this thing, but I just don't get the concept of why someone would use another person's age as a yardstick for who they should date....unless there is something else at work there, "behind the scenes." As to the "baggage" thing -- I have never referred to kids as such, but I think it's more of a semantics thing. I think if you use a broad definition, along the lines of "anything or anyone that is brought into a relationship that may tend to have a significant impact on said relationship," that this could include all sorts of things, both tangible and intangible, including histories, jobs, places of residence, past relationships....and kids. Psychobabble has tended to interpret the term "baggage" with a negative connotation, but I wouldn't necessarily assume this connotation as a universal condition. In the end, we all come with some sort of "baggage," whatever that might be. |
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well put william, i date someone a lot younger than me, sure it becomes an issue here and there but doesnt unconditional love win out? It is in the heart of the person.... Hey Lex I do agree that it comes across as the EEEEeeeewwwwww effect to me as well... |
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I couldnt date anyone too young.....I couldnt bear for him to play "Let's count the wrinkles"
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I couldnt date anyone too young.....I couldnt bear for him to play "Let's count the wrinkles" |
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I couldnt date anyone too young.....I couldnt bear for him to play "Let's count the wrinkles" Gypsy.. You have Wrinkles??? I don't believe it for a minute...
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If you look reaaaaaaally close I do....
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Using age as a judgement to whom you get involved with is not different than race, sex, religion, creed, etc. It is just another set of rose colored glasses. Look through them if you wish, but you will probably loose out on a lot on neat people in the world.
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OK..I have given this some thought ( I know this can be dangerous, but I didn't hurt myself)..
Age shouldn't matter, and for me It doesn't matter...with that said however, there are boundaries, to some degree... I have dated guys who were younger than I (footnote: I'm NOT an ole bag by the way)..just thought I'd interject that for the record...when I say younger, anywhere from 4 to 9 years my junior...and I have also dated guys who were much older, 13 to 16 years my senior....I have learned from all of these experiences and have come to the realization that the "younger" guys were more mature on certain levels as opposed to the guys who were much older than I...Not saying that the older guys were "immature" just on a different plane than I... I have always associated with people who were much older than I since I was a kid...don't know why,,I felt connect with them and can communicate with them on a deeper level...I can't wrap my mind around that..You would think that the older guys would have more to offer insofar as mental - stimulation..and some did, but it wasn't what it appeared to be... I'm only generalizing here...I'm NOT saying ALL older men dating younger woman fit that catagory... Guess when it comes down to the wire, it's all relative and just depends on the individuals... 
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