This Christmas is going to be my first one alone. My ex left soon before Christmas last year, but I think I was still in shock and didn't really care last year.
This one is gonna hurt... I have my kids Christmas Eve, then drop them at mommies around 9:00 p.m.
It's been a ***** of a year. I'm slowly getting over her... only petty jealousy and some anger remain.
What do I do Christmas Day? I'm invited to my brother's girlfriends house, but the thought of hanging around with people I don't know doesn't seem like a good idea. I don't think I'm going to be in the mood for that.
This is pretty much going to be the new routine because my ex got pregnant, and I'm not going to take them away from their soon-to-be new brother every year...
Suggestions? Thanks

I can identify, but i've been divorced for almost 5 yrs now..it does get easier..just hang with friends if you can, keep busy so you dont think about it..you will get thru..& merry xmas to you..god bless..

It seems that you already know that your feelings of jealousy and anger are petty.
You will feel like this and be mad as long as you allow yourself to be. It's up to you what mood you are in or not.
My advice is enjoy your christmas with your family and your kids.
Life is short enough, quit wasting precious time on feeling angry at someone who isn't coming back.

I was devestated when my ex left and I spent to long being depressed and upset about it. I didn't enjoy things with my family and friends, the ones that really care about me, because I was to upset over him. I will never make that mistake again.

Find friends to spend time with.
Don't start a pity party, it will not help.
Benn doing it for 10 yrs now.

I guess my thoughts are that we have a moment on one day to take the time to be grateful for what we are blessed with. We cannot always be with the ones we wish to be with. Things are not always perfect in anyones lives. But we woke. We have simple joys. We have the moments we can find the hope and spirit in life. So, I hope you wake on Christmas and remember this. There is good in the day. Joy in the moment. Is not about what we do not have. Not about money and presents. It is about life. The great gift of life. Merry Christmas.

I have been divorced fours years. My children leave me on the weekends to visit my mom. They are going to be with her for Christmas. My plan...Cook me a huge Christmas dinner and drink cranberry juice and vodka, sing and dance to CHEEZY holiday music. Lame?....Probably. Fun?....Definetly.

Being alone for the Holidays can be a bit sad, however,I think you should be content with what you have and try not to want what you don't have and things move along nicely.

HAPPY HOLIDAYS!!

Pass., great post, shows a lot of thought & deep feelings.
Welcome to the family, hope to read more of your thoughts.

Been there, done that. I moved to AZ with my kids after my divorce They spent Xmas in Ohio with their dad. I thought it was the worst holiday ever but now this year I lost my husband and my mother within 7 mo of each other. This holiday really sucks! Enjoy what time you have with your children and spend Xmas with friends. You might have a better time than you think. It helps. My brother in law is single and going to a basketball game! I hate the thought of maybe being alone on New Years! The pain eventually eases but the memories linger on.
Have a Blessed Christmas and may we all have a better, happier new year!

You were invited to your brother's gf's house. So you have a place to go. It's been a year, yet you still hold on to your pity..you're embracing it. Suck it up and press on. Go to a place you're invited. You have family. Stop feeling sorry for yourself. Who knows...maybe you'll actually have a good time...if you allow yourself.

its a first for me too,
but its not a disappointment
For me the holiday and the new year I see as a new beginning
Me and my kids who are grown are changing a few of our traditions just so that we can make it feel like a new start in life and that definatly something I am looking forward too
Its comforting with all the excitement and promise of new things and people in my life for my new future
I hope that you can find a way to view your life as a new start and that it brings you a huge smile you yourself like it did for me too
enjoy your holiday the best way you can surround yourself with people close to you that are supporting in all your going through and with your kids make a point to start a new tradition for the holiday something that is special for you and them and that will give you new and future memories to look forward to for you and them alone
and are different than the ones you shared in your past as a married unit
it could really help you and your kids to not miss the past so much at this time of the year
pick a tradition and tweak it to fit your new situation
Take care and enjoy the new life to come

go to dinner with your family or friends who knows you might your life partner but if not have fun and enjoy your family they are important to you expecially this time of the year. Merry Christmas and a very good new year!

You get to see your kids so be happy. Just focus on that day as you would normally focus on christmas day. Then like other said get to some other family event for christmas so the lonelyness does not set in. I have been there myself last year for Thanksgiving but the courts gave me the kids for christmas. Another low blow from the ex and this year I have done without the kids for 4 weeks and have another 4 weeks to go atleast before the courts can hear it and give them back to me for the 3rd time.
Happy Holidays, John

Thanks everybody,
It's not that I feel sorry for myself, in fact compared to many of the horror stories I've heard from women I've dated, I'm handling it quite well (No phone tapping, following her around and harrassing her, ect.) But give me a little bit of a break... it's only been a year! They say it takes, on average about two years. I'll be fine, and thanks for everybodys advice...

Enjoy, Johnnie. There's a NEW day for you. It is yours. I wish you a wonderful holiday!

i agree with oldsage--

been doing also in the last 17 yrs--

My first year.. heck its only been a month since the divorce. Moved out back in July though. But its hard. I found out from Thanksgiving it is better to be with family and friends than alone. Even if you don't feel like it. I have no options for Christmas so I am going to a Christmas Eve service to be with people. And its a new church so I will basically be with strangers. But it will be better than being alone. Go to your brother's gf house and have a good time. You will thank yourself later.

Buck

Johnnie. You need to be with your family and friends...My wife passed away earlier this year in Jan. Tomorrow is going to be rough without her. I have a great support group with my family and friends. Ya just gotta feel the Love from your family and friends. I wish you a Merry Christmas, even though it`s gonna be rough for you. Just be with your friends and family. Believe me, they will help you out.

Family and friends will get you through the holidays.