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Topic: one for the guys what am i doin wrong
raven20's photo
Wed 12/26/07 08:02 PM
my ex and ihave been separated for just over 2 years it was my fault for the separation but i have tried to make amends by confessing everything about the affair.at first when we separated i would spend nights at his place then he went and got a new girlfriend. i lost it, especially when i found out that just a month after they got together he gave her the most impressive set of rings i ever seen during this time she ended up moving into his place. well he started drinking along with her as she really liked to party even during the week he was never that kind of guy when we were living together i mean he would drink occasionallly but not like that He called me one night and told me that i was never to speak to him again and of course he was drunk on a week night no less to make a long story short i guess he got tired of the party thing and started stopping by my place in the morning for breakfast and like a fool who still loves him i made it for him! the relationship with her didn't last long and soon she moved out things were quite rocky for him because he said he really loved her but as time went on he started to give up on her. for the last 5 months now i have spent evry night at his place and doing EVERYTHING a wife should do while still keeping my place. now she is back in the picture just as a friend he says but once again he is drinking with her not as much but he is and there are times now when he pushes me aside for her i am not allowed to call him or text message him when he is with her but she can text him when he is with me because she doesn't know that he is with me she thinks that him and i don't speak and also does not know that i was spending the night at his house Everyone tells me he is just gettin both pieces of the pie and i should just bow out of the picture but how can i do that when i still really love the guy i just want to be with him again and don't think i have not asked i guess what i am asking is why is it that he knows he can come to me anytime day or night and i will be there no matter what and i will do anything for him and he knows i love him why does he go to her

fortsmithman's photo
Wed 12/26/07 08:05 PM
Tell him to choose you or her.

no photo
Wed 12/26/07 08:06 PM
Edited by Sumthingdifferent on Wed 12/26/07 08:09 PM
Honest answer..because you have little ot no self respect and you ALLOW him to walk all over you.

Sorry, just the facts.

Good luck!

ps..you and he seem to BOTH have MAJOR relationship issues in your life..could use SERIOUS COUNSELLING help!

saefcnysn's photo
Wed 12/26/07 08:06 PM
i loved a man with all of my heart. the hardest thing i had to do was not talk to him. it hurt so bad. but i knew that i would end up hurting myself more in the end if kept talking to him. so the best advice i can give you is to not contact him at all. or start weaning yourself off of him. when you want to call him or see him call or see a girl friend of yours. hell if you need you you are more than welcome to email me here or i can give you my personal email. i know it hurts and i am truly sorry but time heal all wounds...good luck

azrae1l's photo
Wed 12/26/07 08:06 PM
i don't see what he is doing as right but hell you cheated on him, what do you expect? if it were me you woulda never heard from me agian.........

AllSmilesInTulsa's photo
Wed 12/26/07 08:08 PM
1. You created this situation so now you have to live with it.
2. If you don't want to tolerate his behavior, leave.
3. Please find the period key on your keyboard.

ThatsTheGuy's photo
Wed 12/26/07 08:11 PM
"he pushes me aside for her" !?!?
...and you're still there?noway
Guess you still bein' there is what you're doin' wrong.
Time to move on, get over it, there are men that don't think like that.

itsmetina's photo
Wed 12/26/07 08:11 PM
oh i've lived through this .guy is living with the girl still calls claiming he loves me.wants me to stay faithful but you know what that guy is keeping you from finding someone who loves you.get out.i plan on finding someone else i wasted 2 yrs on him while he was screwing her and me whenever he saw the kids or bought the kids to see me.we were in a 12 yr relationship and 2 more yrs of this having 2 women bs.its a ego trip for him.i deserve more and u do 2.i refuse to tell him i love him for a while now.thats not love its control.move on it hurts but when u find someone it will be betterbrokenheart

dashadall's photo
Wed 12/26/07 08:12 PM
He is just using your guilt against you. If he loved you enough to take you back, he would stop seeing her. He knows you feel guilty about what you did, so he is taking advantage of this. You were seeing someone else, so he is seeing someone else. This could be to hurt you like you hurt him, but know that it will never be like it was. Sorry Hun.

raven20's photo
Wed 12/26/07 08:13 PM
i might have cheated on him and maybe i didnt do it for the right reasons but have you never forgiven someone for a mistake i know i forgave him when he made his early in our relationship i should just let you know we were together for 35 years

scotty1964's photo
Wed 12/26/07 08:14 PM

1. You created this situation so now you have to live with it.
2. If you don't want to tolerate his behavior, leave.
3. Please find the period key on your keyboard.




laugh laugh laugh yea that was hard to read.damn

what happened with the guy you cheated with?

WhiteSox0507's photo
Wed 12/26/07 08:16 PM

i might have cheated on him and maybe i didnt do it for the right reasons but have you never forgiven someone for a mistake i know i forgave him when he made his early in our relationship i should just let you know we were together for 35 years


You two were together since you were 14 years old? noway

unsure's photo
Wed 12/26/07 08:20 PM
You can only be walked on as long as you allow someone to walk all over you! It might hurt you to walk away, but atleast you are going to be walking away with your dignity.
You did cheat on him in the first place..so what did you really expect him to do? He seems to have went on with his life and you seem to accept being put in second position. You my friend need to accept that its over and move on. There are way to many men out there for you to accept this kind of treatment...just drop him and start fresh!!
Good luck flowerforyou

Dragoness's photo
Wed 12/26/07 08:27 PM
Edited by Dragoness on Wed 12/26/07 08:28 PM
He does it because he can, it is as simple as that. You are showing him no boundaries nor are you persuing your own life so naturally he is going to do what he wants. You can't blame him for taking advantage of all he had at his disposal.

briancarr's photo
Wed 12/26/07 08:31 PM
You havent gotten over the guilt. you are allowing yourself to be punished. he is punishing you, the way you punish him. The best thing to do sinse you started the whole thing, is to move on. Sorry to say it, but if i were him i would have my cake and eat it to, especially if both of you are willing to feed it to me. He cant fully trustyou. even if he went back with you, he would keep something on the side. You cant win. Move on, or just be his booty call.

JaceKnows's photo
Wed 12/26/07 09:03 PM
Move on, get up, dust yourself off, and keep your self-respect intact. Counseling is a good idea. Periods and commas are your friends. Embrace them.

lonelyredheadgirl's photo
Wed 12/26/07 09:07 PM
i know how you feel seriously. i would still do anything for my ex. but we dont talk right now and we have a kid so it isnt just love i feel obligated because of our daughter

no photo
Wed 12/26/07 09:54 PM
Women aren't doormats and you really shouldn't allow his behavior to continue. His fooling around could cause you to get a major disease, are you willing to risk that?

Rebel4x4s's photo
Wed 12/26/07 10:14 PM
its called eating your cake and having it too

works for him


if you dont like it ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, turn your back and start over

learn from it,,,, oh and,,,, hope you learned your lesson about cheating,,,,,, how does it feel?

Jess642's photo
Wed 12/26/07 10:50 PM
Poor self esteem, co-dependency, doormat, habit, history, comfortable, safe, guilt, manipulation, all of those words fit this scenario.

Until you decide you are worth a whole and healthy relationship, with a person who sees you and respects you...so be it.

Your choice.

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