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Topic: Long Distance Marrage
briancarr's photo
Sun 12/30/07 05:20 PM
My Daughter got married over the Chistmas holiday. She is in the Airforce, stationed in Japan. I know i said a lot of things that i meant. No one in my family has met this guy. I love her. How do i start talking to her again. Im still pissed, but its not going to change a thing.

IndnPrncs's photo
Sun 12/30/07 05:22 PM
Exactly, it's not going to change a thing... It's her happiness that matters and if she is happy and he treats her right that is all you should care about...

sassyma's photo
Sun 12/30/07 05:22 PM
why are you angry

no photo
Sun 12/30/07 05:24 PM
That's one of the tough things about being a parent.

As was told to me before I had my son, you can try to teach them all you can and raise them right. Then when they become adults, they have to live thier own lives and you just trust that you raised them the best you could.

if you said things and you were "wrong" to do so..then it's ok to say "I'm sorry" to your daughter. that usually will open the door back up.

Communication is important in EVERY form of relationship. Since I don't know what has happened between you and her, you will have to find some ways to open the door with her again.

Best of luck! bigsmile

briancarr's photo
Sun 12/30/07 05:40 PM
Thank you. Its the hardest thing i have had to face. im going to try .

singingmyheartout's photo
Sun 12/30/07 05:43 PM
I'm going through a similar situation in my own life... but I am the daughter running off to get married.

As parents, we don't have to like our children's decisions, but burning bridges is never a good thing. You don't have to like what she did, but respect it. Her actions were done with intention to make her happy... not to hurt you. And as parents, all we ever really want is for our children to be happy.

briancarr's photo
Sun 12/30/07 06:28 PM

I'm going through a similar situation in my own life... but I am the daughter running off to get married.

As parents, we don't have to like our children's decisions, but burning bridges is never a good thing. You don't have to like what she did, but respect it. Her actions were done with intention to make her happy... not to hurt you. And as parents, all we ever really want is for our children to be happy.
Thank you

TxsGal3333's photo
Sun 12/30/07 06:28 PM
Suck it up and be the father you have always been to her. I have two kids one 23 and one 25 no matter what they did and no matter how hurt I was it would not stop how much I love them. They have a life to live and choices in life they must make that makes them happy. You should be happy that she is happy. With her in Japan it is kinda hard to meet everyones needs just have a party when you do get to meet him in the mean time be there for your daughter as well and stand behind her choices.bigsmile flowerforyou bigsmile

trueokie2's photo
Sun 12/30/07 06:35 PM
You love your daughter. Just let her know you are there for her and that you love her very much.flowerforyou

MicheleNC's photo
Sun 12/30/07 06:41 PM
What do you do?

You pick up the phone and CALL HER! Tell her you love her and that her happiness is your top concern. If any ill will had been expressed, apologize and leave it in the past.

You never know he might be the best guy in the world for her. Let her choose, but don't make her think her Dad is not there for her.

So do it...and let us all know how it goes!

Hugs, M

briancarr's photo
Sun 12/30/07 07:36 PM

What do you do?

You pick up the phone and CALL HER! Tell her you love her and that her happiness is your top concern. If any ill will had been expressed, apologize and leave it in the past.

You never know he might be the best guy in the world for her. Let her choose, but don't make her think her Dad is not there for her.

So do it...and let us all know how it goes!

Hugs, M
Thank you. I just sent her a e-card. im tring to work my way up to calling her

no photo
Sun 12/30/07 07:46 PM
Thank you. I just sent her a e-card. im tring to work my way up to calling her




It's funny being a parent at times. We teach our kids to be independent people. Then when they do something that shows that independence, we as parents get ticked. Once they are grown it's really not much you can do. They have to live their own lives, regardless of what we think.

I hope it works out for you.flowerforyou

UWannaBSpontaneous's photo
Mon 12/31/07 01:12 AM
Be strong in the face of her decisions. She should know that you will be there for her now and later if it does not work out.

I have a daughter to. I have sworn that no matter what I will stand by her.

Part of lifes lessons that we all go through in different ways.

Maybe all will be good and the change is just a bit scary to understand.

Best of luck. Just call and let her speak to you. Hold off on judgement so she can feel close. You don't want her to feel by herself in this.

J

itsmetina's photo
Mon 12/31/07 01:17 AM
get to know the guy get his address write him

MicheleNC's photo
Mon 12/31/07 01:22 PM
Did you call her yet? Please call her before 2007 is over!

flowerforyou M

briancarr's photo
Mon 12/31/07 01:24 PM

Did you call her yet? Please call her before 2007 is over!

flowerforyou M
Not yet.

unsure's photo
Mon 12/31/07 01:29 PM
We can only do so much as parents. We raise our children and teach them the tools to be good role models. Your job is done..now its their life to live. You have to let them make their own decisions, and this my friend is a very tough thing to do. Even if we think its the wrong decision for them to make, we have to back them up.
No matter how mad you are at your daughter...you need to call her and tell her how much you love her. Life is way to short to be mad at her even for a day! Wouldn't it be sad if something awful happened to either one of you....then the other one would feel horrible for the rest of their life!! Pick up that phone and just start talking like a normal parent would. The love of a parent has for a child is unconditional, so what are you waiting for?
Good Luck flowerforyou

Suchendentrost's photo
Mon 12/31/07 01:56 PM

Exactly, it's not going to change a thing... It's her happiness that matters and if she is happy and he treats her right that is all you should care about...


I agree!

briancarr's photo
Mon 12/31/07 04:00 PM
I know this might no be what everyone wanted, but my daughter called me. she sounds like she still loves me. We really didnt get into to much about the marrage, but we will. I know i have to bite my tongue, and fall in line. Letting go is not easy, I guess since i have been 22, and shes never been 45, it makes it kind of hard to see them make a possible mistake. I will work on it as i go. Thank God i have my Mother to talk to. You guys too. Thanks.

no photo
Tue 01/01/08 02:04 AM
hMMMMMMMM why would you be pissed that your daughter married someone???? I mean the divorce rates are 1 in 2......whats the problem???huh

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