Ok...My children are 13,and 10...Dad is the residential parent... but both my children want to come back and live with me..and I want them with me...they are not happy with Dad..he go remarried over the summer and it has been tuff on them..They tell Dad they don't want to live there..they want to be with me...Does anyone know how old a child has to be when they can decide where they want to live?

Alot of the time its 16.

I think 13, not sure though.

Seems a judge will listen at any age. Used to be, at 13 with good reasoning, child could call to shots.

It depends on your state. Can you call the courthouse or legal aid, or an attorney and ask?

13

I thought it was 13 too...but not sure....

In MD it is 12, so you should not have a problem. Let the kids talk to the judge

I'm not sure if it depends on each state. Here in WI they have to be 14. Good luck to you

One is 13 and one is 10, a judge may not want to split the kid's up.

I thought it was 13...but my son is only 10...I'm not sure if they would listen to him..and I don't want to separate them. Not sure if they let one come and stay if they would let the other.

It depends on the conditions, the courts take a very close look at what will interrupt their routine. WOuld they be able to attend the same school living at your house?

Also, the judge very well may take what they have to say into consideration. The courts here will talk to them when they are as young as 9 y/o.

I am dealing with this myself right now and know a lot about the topic, please feel free to email me if you need to talk. It's tough...

Biggest advice I could give you is to make sure you dont "coach" your kids, the judge finds ways of finding that out

I think its different in each state. I would suggest that you call and talk to a lawyer..they will talk to you for free. I think in Indiana, children can pick at age 13 IF they are mature enough. I do know they have to go through a lot of different people, like a counselor and the judge.
I would talk to someone and get legal advise just to make sure what its like in your state. Good luck

I would never coach my kids I just want there happiness...and if it came down to it and we got there and they said they wanted to stay with Dad that would be fine too...I just want them to be happy...My daughters grades are slipping...my son eats all the time for comfort..and my kids live about 3 minutes from me..so they would go to the same school.

Children never really get to "decide" where to live but as soon as they're able to express themselves a judge will usually listen to their side of the story.

13 and 10? A judge would certainly give weight to what they have to say.

Please dont think I was suggesting you did, I was just offering advice to that because the courts will work that. My ex wife got burned badly on it.

Sounds like a lot of things are in your favor, considering you guys live so close, why cant you two just work it out with the kids best interest in mind? I would hope he would be willing to let kids inquire into their best interest...

One avenue to try is to get the children - with your help or that of a lawyer - is to petition the court to provide a "Child Advocate" attorney. This attorney represents this intrest of the child, and since most children can not afford legal council, its free.

On a personal note, when my daughter was 12 the judge spoke to her in chambers and sent her home with me.

It is 12yrs old in the state of Oklahoma.

I have tried to talk to him...tell him they are not happy...it comes down to the money...he don't want to pay child support...at this point I don't even care about that..I just want to see them happy...

That's good to hear...Fight for what's best for your child and never give up....Never