Topic: Gender barriers
rocket_kat's photo
Sun 02/03/08 12:04 PM
I'm genuinely curious as to how people feel about the limitations we place upon ourselves because we are taught it's how things simply 'are' when we are young.

For instance, boys play with cars and tractors and dirt while girls play with dolls and toy cooking sets and makeup kits. Why do we do this to our children? Why don't we let them decide without the constant pressure of advertising from television? Boys can be nurturing and caring, girls can be mechanically-inclined and rough-and-tumble.

It extends to our present state. It's generally okay for a man to maintain a lower standard of hygiene than a woman. Why can't a man be pretty? Why can't a woman get her hands dirty working on a car? Why does a woman have to have flawless skin and shiny hair?

All kinds of people are genuinely beautiful inside and out, yet overlooked because they're not the type of person you'd see on a magazine cover. How do *you* feel about these divisions we've imposed upon ourselves?

hikerchick's photo
Sun 02/03/08 12:06 PM
Honey some men are pretty and I spent hours last night talking to one that is soooo pretty.
Most guys are pretty worried about being perceived as gay. I love the ones who don't give a crap what other people think.

gdr441's photo
Sun 02/03/08 12:07 PM
if a boy start playing wiht barbie dolls u know hes not gonna be gay

DemonicNightAngel's photo
Sun 02/03/08 12:13 PM
Thankfully, my mom raised me to do whatever I was into. I hated barbies, in fact, the one I did own I tortured so badly that the next toy I got was a basketball...hehe.

Not saying I'm not glad to be a woman, because I am. I just think there's nothing wrong with a woman getting down and dirty. It's a turn on for some guys to know that woman don't mind getting down and dirty with him. Just makes the clean up procedures all that much more fun....hehe.

No, back on topic....There isn't anything wrong with men wanting to look nice, but that new breed of men called metrosexuals do not turn me on at all whatsoever. I want a rugged man. Sure he has to smell good, but he can't be prettier than me, lol.

lilith401's photo
Sun 02/03/08 12:16 PM
I have choices and preferences, and I choose to be traditional.

I grew up changing the oil on the family car with my dad, and as I got older we went bowling, played poker, and mowed the lawn and afterwards shared a beer. I played equally with my erector set and lincoln logs as I did with my easy bake oven.

These rules, the ones about societal norms and expectations... they are voluntary. I do not think hippies care much about hygiene- good, fair, or marginal...

I do let my child decide what he plays with. I will admit that I do watch carefully what he plays with others, as he would get teased. But I'm actually more worried he'll be exposed to violent video games and the general meanness children possess in large groups. I do not doubt he will grow to be his own autonomous person. He bathes twice a day... and once he's grown he can borrow my hair products all he wants.

My point is rules are only that if you subscribe to them. Too many times we go along to get along, and it's okay to do that as much as it's okay to bend them and look outside the box. Children and adults should reach out to try new things.

Personally, I'm trying to be open minded about camping. I just really prefer my toilet, shower, and bed to the alternative of a sleeping bag, hole in the ground, and no bathing. But again, that is a preference. flowerforyou

tinabelle's photo
Sun 02/03/08 01:02 PM

I'm genuinely curious as to how people feel about the limitations we place upon ourselves because we are taught it's how things simply 'are' when we are young.

For instance, boys play with cars and tractors and dirt while girls play with dolls and toy cooking sets and makeup kits. Why do we do this to our children? Why don't we let them decide without the constant pressure of advertising from television? Boys can be nurturing and caring, girls can be mechanically-inclined and rough-and-tumble.

It extends to our present state. It's generally okay for a man to maintain a lower standard of hygiene than a woman. Why can't a man be pretty? Why can't a woman get her hands dirty working on a car? Why does a woman have to have flawless skin and shiny hair?

All kinds of people are genuinely beautiful inside and out, yet overlooked because they're not the type of person you'd see on a magazine cover. How do *you* feel about these divisions we've imposed upon ourselves?


because we are different creaatures. we are supposed to behave differently.
now that doesn't mean that a woman cannot play in the dirt-there is a time and place for that though-
it just means that we shouldn't define ourselves as women by proving that we can do what men do.
i change my own oil-i built a laundry room, drywall and frame
and everything.but i am also very ok being a woman who would rather have a man do those things.
the first year i was on this site, no one paid attention to me-i am not busty, lusty, showy...so i got no love.
but you know what-i am cooler than most, and if they missed
that because i didn't look like they wanted me to look...
thats a man i don't want to know or be involved with.

FearandLoathing's photo
Sun 02/03/08 01:06 PM
I R PRETTY!bigsmile

In all seriousness, you make some very good points. Personally I don't get all pretty not that I have anything against being percieved as gay but moreso as it's not my style, I'm a punk what punk hasn't been percieved as gay haha. Honestly I like a girl that works on cars and has a significant love of mechanics, that way she can fix the car and show me how haha.

hikerchick's photo
Sun 02/03/08 01:09 PM
when you are a woman alone and you need to get things done you dont' have time to worry about how pretty you look. I installed a mirror wall; built a pond; built a goat pen, a garden ..complete with wooden fence; I split my own wood and know how to use a chain saw.. I can't be worrying about breaking a nail..

tinabelle's photo
Sun 02/03/08 01:10 PM

a additional note...men want us to need them to do manly things.

they don't show it like women do, but their esteem suffers as well when we don't need them.
after all, they too were raised to believe that there is a
certain role for them to play.
without that what have you got?

chickayoshi's photo
Sun 02/03/08 01:10 PM
I was a bit tom boyish when I was younger. I did dress in dresses and had dolls. But I also played dirty, picked up maggots, killed a wild rat with two boys older than me. Tough cookie. I also didn't care what I put on. I have pictures to prove it (not online).

hikerchick's photo
Sun 02/03/08 01:11 PM


a additional note...men want us to need them to do manly things.

they don't show it like women do, but their esteem suffers as well when we don't need them.
after all, they too were raised to believe that there is a
certain role for them to play.
without that what have you got?


screw 'em if they can't take it. I need a man who will cook for me.