Have A Haunting Halloween Everyone

I have always been curious of how u
interpret songs.

Are u one of those that interprets it
literally, word for word?

or

Are u one of those that interprets it
figuratively, as just a one message?


For Other Women Minglers:


I've Never Been To Me - Charlene

Hey lady, you lady
cursing at your life
you're a discontented mother
and a regimented wife
I 've no doubt
you dream about the things you never do
but I wish someone had a talk to me like I wanna talk to you

Oh, I've been to Georgia and California and anywhere I could run
Took the hand of a preacher man
and we made love in the sun
But I ran out of places and friendly faces
Because I had to be free
I've been to paradise but I've never been to me...

Please lady please lady
don't just walk away
Cause I have this need to tell you
why I'm all alone today
I can see so much of me
still living in your eyes
won't you share a part
of a weary heart that has lived a million lives

Oh, I've been to Nice and the isle of Greece
when I sipped champagne on a yacht
I moved like Harlow in Monte Carlo
and showed them what I've got
I've been undressed by kings
and I've seen some things that a woman ain't s'pose to see
I've been to paradise but I've never been to me...

Hey, you know what paradise is?
It's a lie
a fantasy we created about people and places
as we like them to be
but you know what truth is?
it's that little baby you're holding
and it's that man you fought with this morning
the same one you are gonna make love to tonight
that's truth that's love

Sometimes I've been to crying for unborn children
that might have made me complete
but I, I took the sweet life
I never knew I'd be bitter from the sweet
I spent my life exploring
the subtle whoring
that costs too much to be free
hey lady I've been to paradise
but I've never been to me...

I've been to paradise but I've never been to me...


http://youtu.be/QhQWND9jKDA






For Men Minglers:


I Need To Be In Love - Carpenters



The hardest thing I've ever done is keep believing
There's someone in this crazy world for me
The way that people come and go through temporary lives
My chance could come and I might never know

I used to say "No promises, let's keep it simple"
But freedom only helps you say goodbye
It took a while for me to learn that nothing comes for free
The price I paid is high enough for me

[*] I know I need to be in love
I know I've wasted too much time
I know I ask perfection of a quite imperfect world

And fool enough to think that's what I'll find

[**] So here I am with pockets full of good intentions
But none of them will comfort me tonight
I'm wide awake at 4 a.m. without a friend in sight
I'm hanging on a hope but I'm all right


http://youtu.be/_TxpTOtx8nI



Have A "Still Haunting" Halloween Everyone

1. Vantage Point of Dennis Quaid

I find Howard Lewis (Forest Whitaker) character
interesting & pivotal in this film.


2. Warrior(2011 film) of Tom Hardy

I find Brendan (Joel Edgerton) character
more interesting in evolving than the
other characters of the plot.

3. Hitch of Will Smith

I like Albert Brennaman (Kevin James) character
dance in this film. It actually change the impact
of his character in this film, in a good way,



The 3 movies kind of reminded me,
that people will always have a different
"vantage point" of reading & accepting a message
from other people:

While What is more important to others
is the motive & what the message will lead to,

Others will find it more important where the
message came from-
what materials are use in that message?
Does it come from a junkyard or from
a sophisticated, classy bookstore?
Is it written on a crumpled bond paper
or perfumed stationary?
Is it from a "somebody" predictable or
from an unpredictable "nobody"?

or
what is more important to others is
how they can use the message.

Or
what is more important to others is
the message & how it will affect them?
what they can learn from the message?

or
what is more important to others is
how the message will affect someone
they care?

or
what is more important to other is
what exactly is the message is all about.
the real meaning of the message.

not all the time darkness
brings pain & foreboding,
sometimes it brings -
intuition & healing.

not all the pain brings
sorrow,grief & regret,
sometimes it begets-
fortitude, fearlessness
and self healing.

far away from the moon
my music,chanting -
of woes & longing,
wishing with all of me,
i'll dance again soon.





http://youtu.be/LXBi61qHRcY
Casting Shades - Shadows Fall


Have a Haunted Halloween Everyone

If I can only assume,
but I cant,
because it may not be
what I think,
it is.




http://youtu.be/XwqNi4MibMw
Those Who Cannot Speak - Shadows Fall

http://youtu.be/fyuAr58s2x0
(Life to Lifeless of Killswitch Engage)

I am happy for you Ms. Mel
Congrats!

(Sigh) And here I always wish,
I want to be differentiated from the others




I took this as a compliment Ma'am

until I read my post again &
it made me cringed inwardly-
Why do I have to be bloody theatrical
in my post everytime I have
information overload in the board
& floundering to be in the
same page with everyone

My way of saying,
I will get better in time &
I'm just happy I can officially
now post images on your own thread Ma'am,
I am a huge fan of your 2kids Mom Hideout

Thank u.

U are 31.
U said yes to the arrange marriage.
U made your vows to your God &
to your wife.
U have kids.
U are unhappy.
U want extra marital affair
to find happiness.
Your wife, even said its okay,
because she is aware that
she does not make u happy.
She even said u both can make
adjustments, just no divorce.

I would even go as far as assume
u & your wife actually give your
best shot on the marriage but still
end up both unhappy for u to post
such OP.

U feel u & your wife are caged right?
Both agreeing to be miserable & unhappy,
that u feel the need for an extra marital
affair, hoping it will assuage
& make u forget, how miserable your
situation is, after all your
wife said its okay.

why?
Because it is much better to be
both miserable & unhappy than
to face other people's opinion
of your decisions?
if in case u decided
that it is high time for u & your
wife to actually taste happiness,
feel being loved, appreciated &
validated by people who can love u
both for who u are?

why?
Because it is much better to be
miserable & unhappy than to face
your wife and say to her,
we will be happier if u & I
will be both free to find
someone who can actually
make us happy?

why?
Because it is much better to be
miserable & unhappy than to
disappoint your wife by
asking a divorce?
As if u have not disappointed
her enough, right?

why?
Because it is much better to be
miserable & unhappy than to be
branded a broken family?

why?
Because it is much better to be
miserable & unhappy than to
disappoint your parents &
go against your culture?

why?
Because it is much better to be
miserable & unhappy than to
be actually a real man,
by taking charge of your own life,
instead of being a puppet to the
dictates of the society?

Life is short.
If u feel u can only be the man
that u are now, caged, unhappy &
miserable, for the next 25 years or more.

because u do not have
what it takes to be a man:

who can make his wife happier
who can make his children
healthier & happier by being
happy himself.

and having extra marital affair
is just good enough.

Please go on with your life
Sir.All the best.

Just in case, u have it in u
to actually be a man
to find his happiness for him
& his family,
Go counseling with your wife
and take it from there.

If it means letting go
of each other & facing the
responsibilities of your decisions,
ask yourself if u can be a man,
to take up the task.

If not, just be miserable & unhappy
for the next 30 years,
U have already survived
it anyway for several years.

Convince yourself more that
having an extra marital affair
is the best way for u,
your wife & your children
to be happy,
for the next 30 years.

At the end of the day Sir,
no matter what we all say here
in the board, it will always be
up to u:

to be the kind of man that u are.
to be the kind of man u want to be.
to be the kind of father u want to
be to your children.

1. House of Flying Daggers of Zhang Ziyi

2. John Wick of Keanu Reeves

3. P.S. I love You of Gerard Butler

The 3 movies kind of reminded of me,
that there are different ways,
people handle losing someone they love:

Caine: Master, what is the best way to meet the loss of one we love?

Master Kan: By knowing that when we truly love it is never lost.
It is only after death that the depth of the bond is truly felt
and our loved one becomes more a part of us than was possible in life.

Caine: Are we only able to feel this toward those
whom we have known and loved a long time?

Master Kan: Sometimes a stranger known to us for moments
can spark our souls to kinship for eternity.

Caine: How can strangers take on such importance to our souls?

Master Kan: Because our soul does not keep time; it merely records growth.

Do You Realize The Influence You Have?

In the real world outside Mingle,
if u want to be left alone & be
more productive & have lesser hassles,
it is wiser, to stand your ground
only, when u feel it is necessary,
& make sure to let anything,
inconsequential pass w/o a reaction.
Leave influence to people who
have money & power to support
their actions & campaigns.
In short, "mind-your-own- business" policy is the wisest.
Healthier & safer.

In Mingle?
Let us just put it this way-

While I am very aware that
millions of children tonight
all over the world,
will not have any supper,
after a whole day without eating anything...

I cannot do anything about it.
What I can do, is to make sure
that I will not bring another life
into this world, that I cannot feed and love.

While I want the man I like,
the one I want to get to know better
self reflect and be a better person
that he can be, I find it
quiet ambitious & pretentious for me,
if I will dream of influencing other
people on a dating website.

If I want my opinion to matter,
I will choose a socio-civic websites,
or socio-political websites that can
provide me a better platform,
if I feel the need to influence people.

The fact that I am on a dating website
means, I want someday to date
someone compatible with me personality wise.
For now, I will settle in expressing my
individuality.

Influence?
Lets leave it to people
who like to express their opinions,
criticisms & support by always posting on a new acct,
who always for some reasons, get the whole picture
& in the same page with everyone,
with just few posts,
when I can hardly piece it out yet.
Let alone figure out everything.




To even suggest that I will feel guilty because
of how others:

-perceive my words
-interpret my posts

is a bit conceited.
I have the unfortunate experience,
of assuming before that the songs posted
on the board are for me.
I actually find the courage to ask the man
in his thread if those songs are really for me.
I get promptly rejected.
If that does not wobble the knees & confidence
of other spinsters, I dont know what will.
As for me, it gives me a lesson,
never. ever. assume.that. a. post .is.for.u.in.the.forum.

After that incident,
someone whose opinion I really value &
someday I want to be as mature as her,
says, if the post does not says-
chronicliar75 this flower is for u.
Never ever assume it is for u.

Well so far, the advice & the lesson
proves to be true, helpful & logical.
So why in the hell would I feel guilty
if a person, choose to interpret my words
as negative or something that will make
him/her stop from accomplishing something?

Its like claiming that someone can really
be a victim in a dating website?
Really? People get bullied.
People get rejected.
But victimized? Cmon?!
If posts & words can actually victimized
an adult on a dating website,
who are thousand of miles away from him/her
then he/she will not last longer
in the real world.
It is far harsher & demanding
in the outside world.

We all know that. that is why,
no matter how busy we are,
this forum is irresistible to us.
It sharpen our wits,
it allows us to express who we are
& still feel relatively safe.
It allows us to interact with people
and still feel relatively safe.

Guilty?
Why should we?
Everyone has a choice to skip posts,
they do not want to read.
Everyone has a choice to filter people,
they do not want to interact.

May I Promise Myself Instead -
Version2
On my 90th Day-

Please do not make me promise to always keep up
& beat the system.
I cannot and will not.
I choose to walk my own path.

Why?
I read it here in the board ,
in one of the threads from
Somebody whose opinion,
I really value says that "maybe
the person struggling is the one insane,
because others were able to beat the system"

At that time I do not know what that means.
I felt so defensive at that time, I even committed
argumentum ad hominem.

Today on my 90th day,
I do not feel the need to beat the system:

1.If u mean there are less people here & more
accts, I have figured that out in my 60th day?
Does it bother me? At first yes.
Then eventually No.
Why would I care if it is their 2nd alternate
or the 1000th?
It just means they have so much time in their hands,
and they have reasons why they are doing it.
We could never 2nd guess their reasons & motives.
If I interact with them, it is because I feel
the need to give my own perspective.

2.If u mean, people who feel the need to always
make another account everytime they want to
open a new topic, give their support, give their
criticisms, I too am aware of that few weeks ago,
when I see a lot of old accounts, but does not add up
to who they should be?

Do we need to judge them because they do not have
the courage to post it on their own main accounts?
Let them be. It is their choice.
To each of his/her own.

For now, may I promise instead not to be like them.
Because I do not have the time and I do not see the need:

I have a topic that has been erased because I break so
many rules on that one.
So what is a worst topic that I cannot open if I wanted to?

I have posts deleted and is known to hijacked threads when
I am emotional.
So what is a worst opinion that I cannot say in my own
username that I feel the need to waste time & open another
one? So I can go back to my word and feel bad that I could not
keep my word? Pretty illogical right?

I even did drama when people are overboard.
Heck I even declared I am player in the board,
even if some people in the company I am working with says:

-men hates drama & players
-men hates unfeminine & loud bi++++ches

It is my way of being fair to
someone who will be serious in
getting to know me.

I rationalize, if he can accept me
despite my username,
despite my attitude in the board,
despite my lack of class & fashion sense
despite my lack of very feminine attributes
then maybe I can affect him, like a woman
should affect her man in the most basic
law of attraction between a man & a woman.

May I promise instead to be who I have claimed to be,
and said who I am.

I do not know with others,
I can only speak for myself,
Finding a partner for me means:

-I do not want to be alone for the
rest of my life,
-if there is a probability that I can
be with a man, who can accept me as I am,
lead me and keep me safe,
then I am very willing to give up my
independence.
-never because, I find it that settling down is
a marker for success.
The older I am, the fewer I see people actually
successful in both career and marriage.

That should say something about making sacrifices
for what really makes us happy & what we really
value most in life.


I failed this test anyway.

1. You enjoy dining alone. - Yes.

But I caught myself enjoying & appreciating
the food better if I am partaking it with other people.
My experience with hearty meals are always with someone.

2.Watching a movie is fun alone. - Yes.
Because I get distracted if there are
people not focus on watching the movie
I am watching at that time. Id rather watch it alone.

What I actually long for, is exchanging perspectives
after the movie.
Discussing the cinematography,
the actors & actresses, the plot,
the characters of the movie,
how realistic it is,
how enjoyable & if one can actually learn from it.


3. You enjoy doing what you want. - Yes very much for this.

^^^ this is what sometimes discourage
me to look for my Mr. Neverbealone.
That is why it is very important for me
that my man will accept me as I am
the way I will accept him as who he is.
compatibility is really necessary.

I like beer & heavy metal music instead of soda & prayers.
Will my man asks me to stop drinking beer & listen
to heavy metal music because it is very unfeminine?

I could never be fashionable, even if I live
a 100 & 20, I only use high heels & boots inside the
company I am working with because it is necessary.
But, I am more comfortable with jeans,shorts
and T-shirts.
Will my man coerce me to wear a dress when I am with him
because he will find me less attractive in less
feminine outfit?

I like river trekking & less crowded places.
Will my man be overprotective?
Will he always insists that we will
entertain and be with other people always?

I am childish on many things.
Will my man insists that I always act mature in every situation.

I am tactless.
I am disagreeable.
I do not see always the need to agree with everyone.
Will my man stop me from saying what I want to say,
because he will be embarrass, sometimes, of how candid I am
talking about sex and other things that I like to give my
own perspective?

I like reading newspaper & sports magazine instead
of beauty magazines & watching TV?
Will my man think less of me as a woman,
than the other ultra-feminine girls who knew everything
about fashion, latest raves, and
how to be a proper-classy 21st woman?

I am not slim. I am stocky and has cellulites.
Will my man expects me to go on a diet,
so I can have toned and very fit body to please him?


4. You enjoy solitary traveling. I do not have the luxury to travel.

I went to other places only because of:

-river trekking with buddies
mostly more men & few women

-work related

-company outings

5.You think clingy people are a bummer. Subjective.
what is clingy to others might just be "business as usual' for others.

I used the word clingy to people who expects others to find time for them, to support them emotionally & verbally when I do not see the need to do so.

Sometimes though, it is my fear of encroaching boundaries, that stops me from expressing my support.
Sometimes, it is my inability of how to say it, or present it without being misunderstood that stops me.

I actually envy people who are clingy.
It means they have a lot of time in their hands to interact & update.
It means they are not afraid to get rejected or feel being used.
It means they are confident that they can hold their own emotions
when things do not work out as it should.

I still have so many things to learn. I can barely keep up.
Let alone be confident that I can hold my own emotions.
Id rather hold back and get to know the person through his posts
and how he treated other people.




I have read a lot about people truly happy being single,
majority of them have other chosen advocacies in different fields,
mostly spirtiual people.
But I have never met one yet in person.

Belated Happy Birthday Pinkbunny43:)

River Trekking

Just (fair-minded) man

Winona

Hibiscus

Frappuccino