Community > Posts By > Leigh2154

 
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Wed 06/03/15 08:47 PM
waving Hey cool Jazz....Welcome to the land of plenty!....Luck, love and happiness!!flowerforyou

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Wed 06/03/15 08:42 PM

This thread is working pretty well in that regard. happy Forum threads always attract lurkers!
(He said, non-ironically.)


hahahaha...The man has a sense of humor!flowerforyou

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Wed 06/03/15 08:34 PM

It's kind of the basis of at least one facet of the argument... Some people find breastfeeding in public offensive, and some don't... Kind of proves it's subjective right there.

You may find the "lurkers" more subjectively offensive than breastfeeding in public, but there wouldn't be anything there for them to be subjectively offensive about (i.e., "lurk") if the mother wasn't breastfeeding in public.
(Okay, I take that back - true lurkers would probably find something to be subjectively offensive about, but within the context of this argument, we're assuming it's because of breastfeeding in public.)

And for clarification of terms, is someone a "lurker" because they find breastfeeding in public offensive, or only if they actually ogle/blatantly watch the mother breastfeed?


I'm glad you took that back...For clarification you could always start a thread about lurkers and their take on breastfeeding in public...

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Wed 06/03/15 06:15 PM

isn't 'offensive' a subjective standard pitchfork



noway What difference could that possibly make in the context of my conversation with David?...Sincere question...



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Wed 06/03/15 05:50 PM

I'm saying I do not find it offensive on ANY level including a nursing mother's right to defend herself against objectification by lurkers...

Thank you for making the point. This is exactly the reason why a mother should remove herself to a more discrete location: to not give the lurkers anything to objectify or complain against. This being a public place, the "lurker" has a much right to be there as she does, let's not forget. If the mother asks one person to leave because they don't like it, then don't they have the right to ask the mother to leave on the same grounds?

Is not the best fight the one you've already won? If she removes herself to a more discrete location, the baby gets fed (objective #1), she isn't the object of drooling lurkitude (objective #2), and no-one can be offended by her actions (if indeed, there is anyone around who takes offense)(objective #3), and, lastly, if someone does intrude upon her, she has a perfectly valid right to complain and ask them to leave or turn away (objective #4).

To put it in slightly simpler terms:

A breastfeeding mother should remove herself to a more discrete location so she does not offend people who do not want to see that.

A breastfeeding mother should remove herself to a more discrete location to protect herself from the people who DO want to see that.


I don't know how the word fight applies except in your own mind...Once again we disagree...I think the lurkers should be removed, not the nursing mother...It is the lurker who is offensive...

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Wed 06/03/15 03:35 PM

Personally speaking, I can always ignore a breastfeeding mother if I found it offensive enough to worry about it. The point I am trying to make, that seems to keep being skipped over, is with regard to the mothers who do breastfeed their children in public, but regard being seen doing it as offensive to them, the mother. (I only assume the baby doesn't care either way.)

It is the mother choosing to feed her baby in an open, public place. She is the one consciously choosing to perform that action at that time. Thusly, it is up to the mother to modify her behavior to ensure that she, the baby, and the public are comfortable with it. It's not like someone else is telling her, coercing her to feed her baby then and there, and then yelling at her for doing it. The baby has no conscious control of the situation, so it is improper to blame the baby. It's not as if there are no other alternatives like bottle-feeding or - as I have been advocating - moving to a more discrete place. The baby can wait the 10 seconds for mommy to duck around the corner.

Parallel: People smoke in public places. Not everybody finds smoking offensive. Should people who smoke not worry about causing other people offense because other people are okay with it?

Parallel that doesn't include health hazards: Spitting. Some people just up and spit in public. Not everyone finds it offensive. Should people who spit be free to do it because some people do not find it offensive?

Parallel the third: People who are talking extremely loudly or even shouting in a public place. (Especially about a private matter.) Some people don't find this offensive. But if the people who are shouting about a private matter in a public place take offense at being overheard, who takes the blame for that? Would you prefer that the rest of the people in the public place be evacuated so that these two people can shout in peace?

And the definition of a public place is that it is "owned" by the public. (Or those who take charge of it on the behalf of the public, like the government.) I'm talking parks, fairgrounds, plazas, etc. You seem to be thinking of privately-owned buildings or business that accept the public into their establishments in order to sell them things. Those locations have the right to ask people to leave if they are making other patrons uncomfortable.
Somehow, though, I get the feeling you would oppose the owner's right to do this if people complained about it.


It doesn't matter who is in charge, they call the shots, not the patrons...If there are no rules or laws preventing it, nursing mom's can nurse in ANY public establishment... Anyone who finds it "offensive" can leave, look away, or report it to the proper authorities...I'm saying I do not find it offensive on ANY level including a nursing mother's right to defend herself against objectification by lurkers...I'm defending the owner's rights, the nursing mother's rights and the baby's rights by disagreeing with you...And your analogies, IMO, are apples to oranges...The topic is breastfeeding in public....Not soiled diapers, burping or crying babies, sick babies, smoking, spiting, yelling. and, for that matter, what I would or would not oppose...

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Wed 06/03/15 02:00 PM



Hmmm...somehow, reading thru the answers on this thread...is depressing..
Here I thought relationships were all about give and take...sacrificing something doesnt necessarily mean losing yourself or acting like a martyr...its suppose to be about adjusting, giving way and being able to empathize with another's need and build each other up by small or great acts of selflessness...it is not demanded from someone..it is freely given out of love, care and respect.
Well, that is my opinion on the matter...


I agree Pansy!flowers ...For the perfect match?...Whatever I could, whenever he needed it...I watched my parents do this for 67 years...It was a beautiful story....:heart:

Really? I mean, that's quite something. How far would you go? That's basically what the OP is asking?
What you're saying is very open and suggest you'd go very far. Does it include changing behaviour, haircut, clothes, friends? Giving up hobbies? Pets? Putting up with whatever he wants or does?
Because in a way, that's what you're saying, and I doubt very much you would or could - or that that is what you mean to say.
Maybe I'm nitpicking on words :tongue:

To me a perfect match to me is more that you may have to compromise, not sacrifice. A sacrifice is something or someone that means a helluva lot to you. And it means that much for a reason.
And with a perfect match, I can also say "No". I would never say I'd be willing to sacrifice whatever I could, whenever he wanted it. Sod that!

flowerforyou


Just like I said, whatever I could, could being the operative word:wink: .....For me one of the primary components of a perfect match is when each person puts the other person's NEEDS 'NOT NECESSARILY WANTS' ahead of his or her own and if there are children both partners put their needs first...When this happens balance becomes a given...I feel certain that in a perfect match, which is what the OP is referring to, most of the specifics you mention would not be a concern, let alone an issue...The question asked was not what would you put up with, it was what or how much would you sacrifice for a perfect match...I think some of us (me) are looking at it as being in a relationship with the person you consider to be your perfect match and some of us (you?) are looking at the question as, "What would you sacrifice to turn an imperfectly matched relationship into a perfectly matched one?"...Even some of the things on your list I would easily sacrifice if I thought it meant that much to him...If I had a pet I loved and my man developed allergies I could see myself being willing to find a good home for my pet rather than expecting him to medicate and/or "just deal with it"...Same would apply if we hit a financial crunch and needed to eliminate the expense of owing a pet or indulging in a hobby...I think sacrifice is a necessary part of life and that includes any and all sacrifices I might make to protect and preserve my relationship if that is what I wanted to do...flowerforyou

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Wed 06/03/15 01:25 PM





Knowing him and the Kardashian clan, they most like have his " spare parts" up on E Bay


surprised You checked, didn't you....


yes I did. I am actually bidding on his right nut. I want to add it to my sports memorabilia collection., I'll have it bronzed.. maybe I can get him to sign it.


Wouldn't it make more sense to have it "gold" plated?.....smokin


I thought of that.. and if I can get both of them I will. The game plan would then to make them into one of those desk perpetual pendulum things.


shocked You mean ben wa balls?!!!!....Clever...:thumbsup:

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Wed 06/03/15 01:19 PM

Answer the question, Leigh. :P

And to answer your question with a question: Is it not easier for one person to change their behavior a little bit, than it is for everyone around them to change their behavior a lot? Or do you just want the whole rest of the world to change for you?
Isn't that the exact attitude you think I/the person phoning ahead has?

Is not one of the functions of a public place to be somewhere anyone can go, no restrictions on movement or prohibiting anyone from entering? And yet, some breastfeeding mothers attempt to do exactly that - prohibit or restrict someone from moving in a public place - when they breastfeed their infant in public, and then drive away anybody who comes close on the grounds of "indecency", "perversion", or "lurking".


So, am I understanding you correctly?...One mother nursing her child in public is something that EVERYONE finds offensive?...How did you determine that?...And yeah, you're right, it would be easier for one person to change in order to accommodate the majority, so I think you, not nursing mom's and their babies, should stay home...

PS:..It is the owner(s) of the public establishment who decides what is or is not an appropriate "function" in same, not you...or me...or the nursing mom...or the burping baby...whoa

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Wed 06/03/15 11:57 AM

Does that then follow, Leigh, that we should always put up with babies when they are tired, sick, or hungry, when they start to cry and whine, when they start to burp and smell, if they are in public places with easy recourse to more private or reclusive areas, because they have needs that should be respected? If the baby is really having that much trouble, shouldn't the baby stay at home, where care is more easily provided, and with all the privacy anyone could desire?

If the mother/parent is refusing to take their troubled infant to a more private or reclusive area when their baby is obviously bothering other people around them, then that's all on the parent, not the baby, and the parent is a conscious adult aware of the fact that they can go somewhere more private.

But if a mother/parent did want to make themselves and their baby a spectacle in a public place, they shouldn't ***** about it when people treat them like a spectacle.



Perhaps you should phone ahead before you enter a public domain to make sure you will not be confronted with ANYTHING YOU find offensive...slaphead

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Wed 06/03/15 11:42 AM
Edited by Leigh2154 on Wed 06/03/15 11:44 AM
This is what I know about breasts...

Male and female breasts have milk glands...

The two main aspects of the female breasts are erotic pleasure and feeding our babies...

For males, it's erotic pleasure...I'll add that a small percentage of men (excluding newborns) do lactate...While true that actual breastfeeding by males has been observed, it has never been sufficiently documented...

Since a woman's breasts are multi purpose, wouldn't a mature adult person be unconcerned with where, when and how breast feeding mommies nurse their babies especially if they understand that choice is being determined by the baby's needs, not those of the nursing mother...Shouldn't the baby's needs supersede those of the lurkers?...

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Wed 06/03/15 11:27 AM

(((((Leigh))))) :heart: flowerforyou


Hi gorgeous!!flowers :banana: smooched

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Wed 06/03/15 09:21 AM

You can kinda say that... :angel:




Reposting x 2....smitten smitten

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Wed 06/03/15 09:18 AM

:smile:


Of course...And they don't even have to be HIV positive...:wink: ...Because "THAT" does not define you!...This:heart: does....

Welcome!...Luck, love and happiness!flowers

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Wed 06/03/15 08:06 AM

Are we talking human sacrifices?


rofl

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Wed 06/03/15 08:00 AM





How can i get a soulmate?


Safety pin together before washing...:wink:

Welcome to the forums!flowerforyou flowerforyou flowerforyou





Heehee...Hiya DatDat!!waving flowerforyou


hiya , hope all is well on your side


Everything is "under control"....:wink: ...Wishing same for you!...xx

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Wed 06/03/15 07:54 AM



How can i get a soulmate?


Safety pin together before washing...:wink:

Welcome to the forums!flowerforyou flowerforyou flowerforyou





Heehee...Hiya DatDat!!waving flowerforyou

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Wed 06/03/15 07:38 AM

How can i get a soulmate?


Safety pin together before washing...:wink:

Welcome to the forums!flowerforyou flowerforyou flowerforyou

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Wed 06/03/15 07:21 AM


Hmmm...somehow, reading thru the answers on this thread...is depressing..
Here I thought relationships were all about give and take...sacrificing something doesnt necessarily mean losing yourself or acting like a martyr...its suppose to be about adjusting, giving way and being able to empathize with another's need and build each other up by small or great acts of selflessness...it is not demanded from someone..it is freely given out of love, care and respect.
Well, that is my opinion on the matter...
perfection doesn't exist, but there is always perfect for each other... that being said, i agree, perfect or not, it's always a give and take in a relationship, regardless...

part of peoples problems in finding a girl/boyfriend is what their idea of what perfect is, most are unrealistic views... then they confuse that with "settling" because they can't find the perfect person...




Uh huh...:thumbsup:



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Wed 06/03/15 07:04 AM

Hmmm...somehow, reading thru the answers on this thread...is depressing..
Here I thought relationships were all about give and take...sacrificing something doesnt necessarily mean losing yourself or acting like a martyr...its suppose to be about adjusting, giving way and being able to empathize with another's need and build each other up by small or great acts of selflessness...it is not demanded from someone..it is freely given out of love, care and respect.
Well, that is my opinion on the matter...


I agree Pansy!flowers ...For the perfect match?...Whatever I could, whenever he needed it...I watched my parents do this for 67 years...It was a beautiful story....:heart: