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| Topic: How can I not be an ***, but tell someone I don't want frien | |
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Okay, so this girl that I've talked about before on here who told me last week she didn't want me to contact her imed me tonight. We had a casual conversation and she asked me why can't we just be friends? I said I'm not sure and we just talked about general stuff. Eventually it came up where I asked why she contacted me again and she said had nothing else to do. I told her I wouldn't have contacted her because her wish was that I no longer be in her life and she said she was sorry for hurting me that she didn't mean to (sorry, but if she didnt mean to hurt me she would have never treated me like a boyfriend when we hung out). I really don't want to be her friend because when we talk, I feel like I just want more than friendship and I really don't want to feel these things again because I want to live my life without feeling tied down by my feelings for her. How can I be nice, but still get the point across that I'm not ready for just a friendship?
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Why not simply explain that you're not ready for just a friendship? Honesty is always the best policy - just be tactful.
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Just be honest with her and tell her that you don't think you can handle just being friends at this time.
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Tell her....while doing the Robot.
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Hmmm, I don't think you can be nice in this situation. When she says she just wants to be friends and not in a relationship she wants you there when she is bored...It seems
  Just tell her how you really feel and move on, because if you hang out with her more it will hurt you more 
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Tell her the same way you are asking us. Just be honest with her.
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Edited by
tngxl65
on
Fri 01/16/09 07:59 PM
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Tell her....while doing the Robot. 
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Tell her....while doing the Robot.  good thing he is wearing a mask...........his friends would never let him live that down 
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Be upfront and for heaven's sake move around!!! Don't get pulled into mind games ok good luck!!
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You are responsible for your own feelings. You really only need to have that conversation once, you speak pretty clearly. Seems like everyone here got it. She doesn't have to agree with you, or even understand why you feel the way you do.
IMHO, I don't agree with friendships in which one party is secretly pining away for the other..it's uncomfortable and insincere, and that's not a true friendship anyway. |
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It sounds to me like she is using you as a plan b, so whenever the person she's really interested in is not around, she has you to fall back on. I say bail on that, let her torture some other poor guy with her mind games and manipulation.
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I imed her a really long thing telling her how I think my feelings are too strong for friendship and how she hurt me by leading me on and then just wanting to be friends I also said I was sorry, but until my feelings are gone I can't be her friend. At this point I wanted to get everything out, and if she doesn't like it too bad. Thanks for the advice everyone
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Sounds like you did the right thing.
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I imed her a really long thing telling her how I think my feelings are too strong for friendship and how she hurt me by leading me on and then just wanting to be friends I also said I was sorry, but until my feelings are gone I can't be her friend. At this point I wanted to get everything out, and if she doesn't like it too bad. Thanks for the advice everyone That sounds about right. Good luck. |
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Tell her....while doing the Robot.
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Tell her....while doing the Robot. good thing he is wearing a mask...........his friends would never let him live that down Um....I think I took that guy to prom. Left him when I found out what his preference in skivvies were. Of course, leaving him had nothing to do with his dancing skills (wink wink nod nod). |
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Edited by
Dragoness
on
Fri 01/16/09 08:33 PM
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Okay, so this girl that I've talked about before on here who told me last week she didn't want me to contact her imed me tonight. We had a casual conversation and she asked me why can't we just be friends? I said I'm not sure and we just talked about general stuff. Eventually it came up where I asked why she contacted me again and she said had nothing else to do. I told her I wouldn't have contacted her because her wish was that I no longer be in her life and she said she was sorry for hurting me that she didn't mean to (sorry, but if she didnt mean to hurt me she would have never treated me like a boyfriend when we hung out). I really don't want to be her friend because when we talk, I feel like I just want more than friendship and I really don't want to feel these things again because I want to live my life without feeling tied down by my feelings for her. How can I be nice, but still get the point across that I'm not ready for just a friendship? It sounds to me like she contacted you just because she could and not because you are important. I would stop being available for her to contact when she feels like it. If you like her and it is not reciprocated, you will end up being hurt badly if she continues to play with you. Stop contact and if you have to tell her why just tell her for yourself you have to break contact and then don't talk to her again. My best advice. |
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