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| Topic: Had Enough? | |
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What do I need? I'm so lost, not confused until today but any advice would be considered right now.
So, I'm married but seperated and here is what makes my problem so complex. My ex is living with her new "wife", except for a couple of months during our seperation we have had lots of talks, still having sex, and do things for each other. She and her new mate have an open relationship, but I'm supposedly off limits. So when she comes to see me she lies about it! Don't know if I'm just being stupid, don't really care or if I should throw in the towel. Please don't misunderstand me, I'm not in love with my ex at this time, but she is convenient and technically still married to me. I'm looking for input because I'm not sure it's right or wrong. I say it's complex, actually it may be simple. I just may not hear or see what I should right now, being selfish? Thanks for any information you can give me to help me out of what may be a dilemma. |
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Edited by
MirrorMirror
on
Sun 03/29/09 10:06 AM
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What do I need? I'm so lost, not confused until today but any advice would be considered right now. So, I'm married but seperated and here is what makes my problem so complex. My ex is living with her new "wife", except for a couple of months during our seperation we have had lots of talks, still having sex, and do things for each other. She and her new mate have an open relationship, but I'm supposedly off limits. So when she comes to see me she lies about it! Don't know if I'm just being stupid, don't really care or if I should throw in the towel. Please don't misunderstand me, I'm not in love with my ex at this time, but she is convenient and technically still married to me. I'm looking for input because I'm not sure it's right or wrong. I say it's complex, actually it may be simple. I just may not hear or see what I should right now, being selfish? Thanks for any information you can give me to help me out of what may be a dilemma.  Thats one helluva situation. If you are looking for closure then you need to tell her that and be prepared to move on with your life.
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Edited by
Jules0565
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Sun 03/29/09 10:09 AM
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Ok..strike that comment.. you are also a woman! lol
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You are being used and crapped on. Why would you want to stay in such a situation?
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Ok..strike that comment.. you are also a woman! lol  I had to look at the profile
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Edited by
SKPCG
on
Sun 03/29/09 10:11 AM
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Welcome!!
 Wow, I keep hearing and reading about women leaving men for women. It's like Ross from Friends there!! **** OOPS!! MY BAD, ASSUME YOU WERE MALE!! ******************** Well, if she's keeping seeing you a secret from her new mate, then she's essentially a liar. And, frankly, no matter how good the sex was was my second husband, once I locked him out, no more nookie!!! Only complicates things and you can't give yourself a chance to move on. If you still have sex with your "wife", you are also cheating in a way as she has a new "wife". It's all messed up there. |
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If it was just you and her involved then I'd say whatever floats your boat. But there is a 3rd person involved who wants you be off limits (which I can understand) so with that in mind, I'd say let the ex go in all fairness to the 3rd person.
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Ok..strike that comment.. you are also a woman! lol I had to look at the profile |
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Hmmm this is a screwed up situation no matter how you look at it...
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too confusing for me.
Sorry |
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 Confused Lesbians...next Montel be seeing you
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Ok..strike that comment.. you are also a woman! lol I had to look at the profile Yes, I too had to read the profile. |
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The only answer is to stop allowing her to use you, it only adds confusion to a f'ed up relationship. Let her go and move on!! How can you have another relationship with someone else with her on the back burner. BTW "open" relations almost never work. What a f'ed up world we live in!
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Not sure what keeps me in the situation, maybe because I did love her and can't figure out why she keeps coming back to me. Maybe I need to be a "BIG GIRL", stop looking at this twisted situation as more than that. I was okay at 1st because she I figured that the 3rd party was getting what happens when you get involved with someone that is married still. Then I went as far as hey they have an "open relationship" so how bad could it be. Now, it's about the fact that I may just be selling myself short. Not that I want a relationship at this time and I would definitly not be with anyone until I am divorced. Maybe whatever sick and destorted reason I'm beating myself up for not listening and getting married in the first place. I do appreciate all of your advice, and helping me immensely. Thank you
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I would have to say you are "enabling" each other and that should stop for there is "another party " involved.... your EX is CHEATING on her new partner with you , who knows if it happen before or not BUT she is still cheating on her new partner .. you see ???
I say walk, no run quickly ... good luck 
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Issues
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sounds fine....continue as you are.....
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