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Topic: Heavy heart tonight....
no photo
Tue 04/14/09 06:43 PM


alot of good advice on here.you should worry .if he would do this to himself could he turn on you???
I don't think he would.


Awwwwww beauty, you have children. Do you really want them to be around this right now? You going to see him is only going to perpetuate this cycle. Let him get some help and fix this on his own. You can't do it for him, and it's not your fault he chose to react this way.

no photo
Tue 04/14/09 06:44 PM

i had something similar happen to me with my ex,the family blamed me,we were living together at the time,she left me and her kids and moved in with her mother,three months later she came back and got her daughter..a year later i moved..the best thing you can do is stay away,its best for him and you that you do,if not it may start to get his hopes up,only to have them dashed again..and if you did get back with him,he may take you with him if he decides to commit suicide again...jmo

beautyfrompain's photo
Tue 04/14/09 06:45 PM
Thanks for the advice. I guess I will just respect his Mom's wishes. If he asks me later why I didn't come. I will tell him his Mom didn't want me to.

DTHRomeo's photo
Tue 04/14/09 06:47 PM

Thanks for the advice. I guess I will just respect his Mom's wishes. If he asks me later why I didn't come. I will tell him his Mom didn't want me to.


You're doing the right thing Beauty

Hope things get better flowerforyou

LordCole's photo
Tue 04/14/09 06:48 PM

I just don't want him to think that I don't care enough to come see him, because I do. I still love him.


If a suicide really wanted to kill themselves they would be dead with no one to stop them.

This is just another form of manipulation, control, mental abuse and it sucks.

It is hard to deal with the fact that someone would attempt suicide on the pretension that they loved you; However, if they did truly love you they would not do this sort of thing.

as others have said, save yourself the pain, and get some distance before he actually hurts you.

no photo
Tue 04/14/09 06:48 PM
what ever the reason you two split doesn't really matter anymore. He needs help not you to cloud his thoughts. Once he is stable and had some professional help . Maybe and I do mean maybe then it might be okay to talk with him. He and his family can and will blame you for this mess. Its best you just move on with your life. Can you see yourself going through this type of behavior from him at every crisis that arises? what about your child? what about how it will affect them and you in the long term? sure you still love him but its time to let it go for the best reasons. your safety and your child's safety. JMO

samauribaby's photo
Tue 04/14/09 06:52 PM
good luck sweetie...think positive thoughts as much as you can remember to do so...stay safe.

beautyfrompain's photo
Tue 04/14/09 06:59 PM
Thanks everyone :smile:


trgirl's photo
Tue 04/14/09 07:00 PM
beauty i am so sorry to hear your news! i think you are doing the right thing. the love you have for him is evident. flowerforyou


willing2's photo
Tue 04/14/09 07:03 PM

Thanks for the advice. I guess I will just respect his Mom's wishes. If he asks me later why I didn't come. I will tell him his Mom didn't want me to.

If it were me, I'd have to let it go and get on with the grieving the loss.
You ain't responsible for his actions.

I'll make a prediction.
You get back with him and history will repeat itself.

beautyfrompain's photo
Tue 04/14/09 07:07 PM



alot of good advice on here.you should worry .if he would do this to himself could he turn on you???
I don't think he would.


Awwwwww beauty, you have children. Do you really want them to be around this right now? You going to see him is only going to perpetuate this cycle. Let him get some help and fix this on his own. You can't do it for him, and it's not your fault he chose to react this way.


When he left...it hurt my boys as much as it did me. They still ask about him. My four year old asks "Where's Daddy"? That's what he called him from day one. He spent alot of time with my boys. More time than there own Fathers do.

His excuse for leaving...he was scared, because things were moving so quickly? He is the one who put the ring on my finger and set the date.

He came over twice and said he was sorry and made a mistake and would I please accept his ring back. That's what he wanted to ask me again today....I said no. I couldn't... I'm still hurt...

Eddiemma's photo
Thu 04/16/09 07:57 PM
Edited by Eddiemma on Thu 04/16/09 08:00 PM




alot of good advice on here.you should worry .if he would do this to himself could he turn on you???
I don't think he would.


Awwwwww beauty, you have children. Do you really want them to be around this right now? You going to see him is only going to perpetuate this cycle. Let him get some help and fix this on his own. You can't do it for him, and it's not your fault he chose to react this way.


When he left...it hurt my boys as much as it did me. They still ask about him. My four year old asks "Where's Daddy"? That's what he called him from day one. He spent alot of time with my boys. More time than there own Fathers do.

His excuse for leaving...he was scared, because things were moving so quickly? He is the one who put the ring on my finger and set the date.

He came over twice and said he was sorry and made a mistake and would I please accept his ring back. That's what he wanted to ask me again today....I said no. I couldn't... I'm still hurt...




That just broke my heart about the kids...

I know what it must feel like wanting to see him and telling him you love him and you want him to be ok... I would imagine I would be really torn as well...

Maybe you can write him something in a letter... Then you can get it all down about your feelings... I wouldn't have him around the kids or even yourself though right now... He is obviously unstable to try and end his life... It probably was an attention getter like someone mentioned before or he would be dead... People that really want to die do something that is more final....Either way I am sad for you and the kids... Be strong for them as I would imagine you are... So, maybe just write it all down....Take care...

buttons's photo
Thu 04/16/09 08:09 PM
Edited by buttons on Thu 04/16/09 08:10 PM
let go or dont let go..... mixed messages here.. if no really means no then its time to quit stringing things along... and what he did is for attention <or control> to make you come back to him.. although it doesnt really sound like you have ever left... i dont blame him for his confusions.. most often whan a man is rejected he goes away with his tail between his legs unless he still has hope... for hope is a idea when something isnt closed...sounds like a communication problem to me.. good luckflowerforyou

no photo
Fri 04/17/09 12:13 AM
First and formost, If you love him then you must understnd what love is and what it doses. It forgives, and it is longsuffering. Now as far as the Mother (family is concern they can not be mad at you for something that you had no control over. If they are then that is something that they will have to live with. I would call the hospital to see what is going on. If you can not get in to see him, I would write him at least. If you aare not getting any response then it is time for you to go on with your life.

stacb's photo
Fri 04/17/09 03:27 AM
So maybe I'm just cold here dunno, been there seen this kinda thing before...

You don't know what hospital, his mom wont let you come see him...

My question.... Did it really happen or is this just away for guilt/pity to play a role and have you back in his little spell he lost control over?

Saying this because a close friend of mine went through a similar thing, guy & girl split, girl moves on with her life slowly, guy finds out next thing you know he "tried" to kill himself... someone claiming to be "dad" called told her... no hospital name given, no you cant come see him just leave it alone said..... Then a call, WE Lost him...

She was crushed blamed herself. She just moved back home to Texas, but he was in a different state.... She couldn't find out anything... Did some checking... Creeper still breathin just fine on his own was just playin a head game. Imagine his surprise when she showed up on his door step an slapped him an his family with papers to leave her the hell alone.


So thats why im cold on that one.

But it would make me wonder.....

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