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Topic: Try not to be desperate, but don't be inactive
Atlantis75's photo
Mon 04/27/09 07:59 PM
Edited by Atlantis75 on Mon 04/27/09 08:03 PM
One of my friend just went through a divorce and he is desperately searching for someone. He is now at a point, he visits pubs religiously and signed up to at least 4-5 dating sites, paying some crazy fees.
I've never seen someone so desperate, he is almost 40 and he is afraid he is gonna be alone.
While it seems like someone who tries all possible avenues, he is so far unsucessful finding anyone, and he is single for about the same time now as I am (6-7months). I told him to chill out a bit and take it easy...it's not easy to find anyone, it's a stupid world we are living in and especially CT is - I'm telling you - one of the states where women seem to be happy alone or I guess everyone is married or have a such set of mind that I (neither he) can't reason with.

So anyway...I think it's never a good thing to be searching out of being desperate for relationship, because the people jump in relationships that can become even more painful...I take example of myself, last year i ended up in one that was doomed almost from the start.

As right now I'm kinda became inactive..don't know why, maybe I just kinda giving up in searching...maybe i already have while ago I just haven't realized it completely, since I push back or don't respond to much..although it's not like I get much to respond to, even if I do, the person either disappears or it just ends in no more than emails or chats.

Being 6 years older than I am..he just can't believe that I'm single...I told him...lol..neither I..so just seeing this he gets even more crazier..and he thinks I either lost my mind, because I'm not looking as hard as he is.

Anyway...there is no specific question in this..neither asking for anything, I just figured I'm gonna rant off.

So I guess what to be learned is..take example of me, not to be inactive , neither desperate...both ends are the far side of the scale...try to be in the optimal middle...search but don't go crazy.

JasmineInglewood's photo
Mon 04/27/09 08:03 PM
women don't find desperation to be an attractive quality

Dragoness's photo
Mon 04/27/09 08:04 PM
Desperation is bad. It shows in ya. Makes it harder to find someone.

ladywolf9653's photo
Mon 04/27/09 08:08 PM
Has been my experience that desperate people make bad decisions when it comes to relationships, and end up hurting themselves far worse than they would have if they had just waited for the right one to come along. Personally, I'd rather be reasonably content on my own than miserable (and making someone else miserable) in a relationship that I know isn't right for me.

And the others are right - desperation is not an attractive quality in anyone.

Riding_Dubz's photo
Mon 04/27/09 08:08 PM
somebody's watching you.......



Atlantis75's photo
Mon 04/27/09 08:09 PM

somebody's watching you.......





LOL..nice , it's so on the topic.

writer_gurl's photo
Mon 04/27/09 08:11 PM
Oh come on! He is being crazy about it...being almost 40 and single isn't a death sentence....He just needs to chill, because noway everyone is alone forever

cityblues21's photo
Mon 04/27/09 08:12 PM
I think that at this point in life; one should just seek friends and relish those relationships; if seeking more.... let it come on it's own. Friends will always be your greatest advocates in all aspects of life.

MrIndependent's photo
Mon 04/27/09 08:16 PM
Edited by MrIndependent on Mon 04/27/09 08:20 PM
Just do what's best to better yourself, at least that's what I keep reminding myselfsmokin It's been around a year and a half for me out of a long relationship, don't let it bother you!
I suppose I could be considered "inactive."

MirrorMirror's photo
Mon 04/27/09 08:17 PM

women don't find desperation to be an attractive quality
flowerforyou We sure don'tflowerforyou

Gossipmpm's photo
Mon 04/27/09 08:21 PM
Desperation is scary
Very close to crazy
Very unattractive. Even on the most beautiful person


no photo
Mon 04/27/09 08:30 PM
Getting old with somebody by your side make's life more beautiful, and some people are just scared being lonely :cry: :cry: :cry:

Italy0219's photo
Mon 04/27/09 08:34 PM
I like being alone, don't bother me a bit, and I can't figure out why...puzzles the shiznit outta me...I would never have guessed it.flowerforyou

no photo
Mon 04/27/09 08:35 PM
You can want to find someone, but searching doesn't do anything but leave you feeling let down, it happens when youre not looking for it.

sweetcheeks1956's photo
Mon 04/27/09 08:36 PM
Well Atlantis if I was younger, thinner, and lived up that way I would do my best to get your attention. But I am 52, thick (sounds so much better than fat doesn't it) and live in Mo. I guess I will just sit and wait for my price to find me here.pitchfork

grneyedldy1967's photo
Mon 04/27/09 08:38 PM
Desperation is never a good thing and can lead you to make stupid disasterous decisions. I have been alone nearly two years now and although I do get lonely and would like a good man to share my life with I also enjoy not having to answer to anyone and being able to do what I want when I want.

livelife68's photo
Mon 04/27/09 08:44 PM
Desperate is scary. Everything has worked out well for me when I stopped searching and enjoyed life.

Atlantis75's photo
Mon 04/27/09 09:10 PM

Desperate is scary. Everything has worked out well for me when I stopped searching and enjoyed life.


I'm gonna get one of those bikes you got there..lol...I'm tired of sport bikes.

Riding_Dubz's photo
Mon 04/27/09 09:11 PM


I'm gonna get one of those bikes you got there..lol...I'm tired of sport bikes.


got an r1 for sale :banana: oops offtopic

no photo
Mon 04/27/09 09:14 PM
The thing to keep in mind is that no matter how smokingly hot or sexy the chick you're dating might be, in the end she won't mean much at all. If the date doesn't go as well as you hope, just don't pay it any real attention and go on to someone else. The minute you start making out your date as more than than she is, you'll be in trouble every time.

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