Oh def stay with them, if it is meant to be it will, if not it won't, making them get a divorce is not going to solve any problem.

Me too, and he didn't tell me he was not divorced until after we were already dating. His profile said divorced. We didn't stay together long after that. There were other things that were sketchy as well. As I have said in the past. I don't want to be telling my kids I am dating a married man, no matter what the circumstances.

I'd probably have to be done...even if it broke my heart.

I thought of the exception, for me,, seperation for financial reasons. If I saw for myself and was convinced that both parties had moved on but just never got the legal paperwork, I may consider it. It would take alot of proof though. I say that because my first marriage ended about eight years before I finally got the legal paperwork. We both agreed it was done, I lived and maintained a home one place and he in another. He saw whomever he wanted and I did likewise. WE agreed to end the relationship clean but we didnt have papers to 'prove' it. In that type of situation, I could make an exception,, but it would take plenty of evidence that it was really over.

I remember hearing something about foresaking all others until death do you part.

If he answered "I do"...then I DON'T!

it depends how separated they are

are they living in the same house?
sharing expenses but not a bed?
has a lawyer been retained and any agreements in place?
have i met any friends/family/coworkers?

i wouldn't automatically dismiss a separated person as not dateable. i dated before my divorce and i was fortunate enough to become involved with people who not only believed me, but believed in me.

Its a respectable rule. For those mere mortals like myself who's I dos were terrible mistakes, I hope not everyone feels that way.

Ditto...well said, girl!

Once someone is divorced the "forsaking all others" thing is null along with the marriage.

As a romantic, I like the idea of a marriage "until death" but know realistically that we live in an age where life is not that simple.

I was more intending to exert the extremes in my statement, that "forsaking all others" leaves no wiggle room for dating.

I would replace the "until death do you part" with, "at least until you're legaly released from your vows".

I don't expect people to be shackled for life by mistakes that (most of the time) they could not fortell, but mistakes can be mended and I would not date someone until it was completely mended.

No, I would not date someone before they were divorced is the bottom line.

Mere mortal here...but I have to believe the "I do" was just a stop on the journey. I look at my kids and know it wasn't a terrible mistake.

I once dated a girl that i would go pick up accross the state line at her parents house. After dating her for about a month i herd a commotion accross the back fence. I looked over to see some guy smashing the dozen roses i had sent to her at work. It turned out that was her husband and she had a daughter i didnt know about. I then found out she had been watching me for months before i met her. Know i would never intentionaly date a woman that was still married in any form.

I'd call her husband, and say, "Hey...for 50K, we can have her offed and split the life insurance."

I'd leave, when he's divorced he could look me up. Separated is not divorced, and seems like a goood excuse to play outside of marriage. I don't believe in separation as a valid excuse for anything.

If you want to get divorced, then get divorced. Quit goofing around.

Why?
Isn't just being together enough?
What does a little paper say about a relationship at all?

I would break it off...too much drams for me..

ask how long until devorice?

I think I'd kill his wife...

no seriously....

yeah, I just might.