I am just wondering if we really get hurt by others, or do we hurt ourselves.
Meaning do we allow people into our lives and expect things that they cannot or will not provide, and then are hurt by our own expectations.

What is your opinion?

No doubt, a saw that cuts both ways.

A little of both maybe. I mean if you go into something knowing you want something the other can not or will not provide, whatever it may be, then yeah, I think you're setting yourself up for heartache. If things just don't work out for whatever reason then no, I don't think that we've done it to ourselves. We've just taken a chance and it didn't work out that time.

yes

I give people trust because I believe they deserve it . If they hurt me I don't see how that can't be my fault .I can't blame my self for other individuals actions .I really can't. I also can't assume 100% who's bad and who's good . I am not God

sure we do but u got to try

It depends upon what you go into the "relationship" for.....If you are honest with yourself and your interested individual upfront, at least you know where your boundaries are set. If you choose to step over the boundaries, then you have set yourself up to be hurt.

I believe we all know what we are doing, we just sometimes blow caution to the wind, hoping that that person who we care for, will be different.

Overall, just have to be honest with yourself totally!

It depends upon what you go into the "relationship" for.....If you are honest with yourself and your interested individual upfront, at least you know where your boundaries are set. If you choose to step over the boundaries, then you have set yourself up to be hurt.

I believe we all know what we are doing, we just sometimes blow caution to the wind, hoping that that person who we care for, will be different.

Overall, just have to be honest with yourself totally!

Not knowing ourselves or them as well as we should??? Hmmmm quite a concept.

What my man said above. Goof seconds this.

never stop asking questions.

The word is communication>>> only you can let yourself feel hurt.You over power your feelings.Meaning if something doesn't feel right, use communication with the other to understand better so you don't have that hurt...yes it's hard to do, but heart healthy also

Expecting too much too soon, going too fast, and not being too observant.

I think many people have unrealistic expectations of what is going to happen in most situations. Layer on the fog of romance and people can loose all perspective, objectivity, or reason. They hear what they want to and are selectively deaf many times. Pinning your happiness on someone you barely know is ridiculous and selfinflicted madness.

I find it interesting that a few of you mentioned things like "too soon" or "too fast"....

I was refelecting on personal relationships...this is true. However one was 14 years and one was 2 years....neither I would consider short amounts of time.

More of a reflection of myself...but I can see how in the short term that is when many have high expectations.

I personally believe I am opposite in a NEW relationship, but after some time I tend to let my guard down and let too much other stuff cloud my vision.

Interesting perspectives though.

I think we teach people how to treat us...

This reminds me of an old song.

The Snake

On her way to work one morning
Down the path along side the lake
A tender hearted woman saw a poor half frozen snake
His pretty colored skin had been all frosted with the dew
"Poor thing," she cried, "I'll take you in and I'll take care of you"

"Take me in tender woman
Take me in, for heaven's sake
Take me in, tender woman," sighed the snake

She wrapped him all cozy in a comforter of silk
And laid him by her fireside with some honey and some milk
She hurried home from work that night and soon as she arrived
She found that pretty snake she'd taken to had bee revived
"Take me in, tender woman
Take me in, for heaven's sake
Take me in, tender woman," sighed the snake


She clutched him to her bosom, "You're so beautiful," she cried
"But if I hadn't brought you in by now you might have died"
She stroked his pretty skin again and kissed and held him tight
Instead of saying thanks, the snake gave her a vicious bite

"Take me in, tender woman
Take me in, for heaven's sake
Take me in, tender woman," sighed the snake


"I saved you," cried the woman
"And you've bitten me, but why?
You know your bite is poisonous and now I'm going to die"
"Oh shut up, silly woman," said the reptile with a grin
"You knew damn well I was a snake before you took me in

"Take me in, tender woman
Take me in, for heaven's sake
Take me in, tender woman," sighed the snake

humans are monkeys. We imitate each other. Let it be good or bad.

people will only do to you what you allow them to