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Topic: hitting a woman, is one time too many?
carlos2342's photo
Wed 12/02/09 08:21 AM
I was raised not to raise my hand to any woman, I know to this day if my parents found out I ever beat a woman they would disown me as there son. My father never once hit my mother, although she got him good a few times for being out at the bars, a few scratches and a few flying pans and telephones and sure enough his bar days soon vanished.
I myself believe that a man hitting a woman once, is what I say one time too many. I've been agitated by women enough to get me enraged before, but I just try to close myself down or get out of the situation for a while to cool off. I did lock myself in a room once and pretty much destroyed everything in it, except my cast iron weight set which when I hit made my handles all bloody. Anyways was mad at my live in girlfriend at the time, so I took it out on objects, which I know is a form of aggression, but I know I would never ever hit a woman, unless it was to protect my own life....

What do you think, is one time too many times? You don't have to say if you got hit or not, but feel free too, I got popped a few times by a couple women (yes women do hit men sometimes lol). Would like input from both men and women.

Redsoxfan1's photo
Wed 12/02/09 08:28 AM
I don't think it's right for anyone to hit anyone, even once!! When I was younger, I didn't know, though, cuz I grew up watching my stepdad hit my mom, so when I turned 23, I married someone that hit me regularly!! I just thought it was how it was supposed to be!! That was, until 6 years later, my uncle sat me down, and told me that kind of behavior is never right!! I divorced him in 2001, and I've never been happier!!:heart:

carlos2342's photo
Wed 12/02/09 08:31 AM

I don't think it's right for anyone to hit anyone, even once!! When I was younger, I didn't know, though, cuz I grew up watching my stepdad hit my mom, so when I turned 23, I married someone that hit me regularly!! I just thought it was how it was supposed to be!! That was, until 6 years later, my uncle sat me down, and told me that kind of behavior is never right!! I divorced him in 2001, and I've never been happier!!:heart:


Thanks for your reply Redsoxfan1, I have been a New York fan for life by the way.

Karma_09's photo
Wed 12/02/09 08:37 AM
My mom was beat, choked, nearly killed.....but don't mistake her as weak....just scared at the time....she got away and went into hiding....and has been very strong since. I vowed I would never let a man put his hands on me.....ever!!!!

FearandLoathing's photo
Wed 12/02/09 08:39 AM
I don't get into a lot of fights, I don't care for uncontrolled aggression. Which is why when I move I'm going to try and go for fighting competitively. Sometimes people don't have the luxory of the same outlet so their aggression goes onto the closest person...I don't know, always bothered me to defend the girl who was being slapped around only to have her slap me and say "stop beating up my husband/boyfriend"...

Madtanker03's photo
Wed 12/02/09 08:39 AM
Edited by Madtanker03 on Wed 12/02/09 08:42 AM

I don't think it's right for anyone to hit anyone, even once!! When I was younger, I didn't know, though, cuz I grew up watching my stepdad hit my mom, so when I turned 23, I married someone that hit me regularly!! I just thought it was how it was supposed to be!! That was, until 6 years later, my uncle sat me down, and told me that kind of behavior is never right!! I divorced him in 2001, and I've never been happier!!:heart:


Personally, my take on the subject is also from vicarious as well as personal experience. First of all, I agree that hitting is NEVER the answer. Having said this, I was once upon a time a battered husband (I know, 6'6" and 350...) but I was also raised never to hit a woman. I saw my sisters go through it, and vowed never to hit a woman. The result is that one of an unstable minority got to me instead, using my weakness against me. I left her within a week.
I will never stand for it again, nor will I tolerate anyone who does. As of today, first, I tell my sisters, call me if it ever happens(and most of their boyfriends/husbands have seen me in person...) but you had better be calling from somewhere else, second, if you go back, knowing what they are capable of, do not cry to me if it happens again (not for lack of compassion, but I am not flying to NY every two weeks for nothing...), and third, I treat everyone equally; I will not raise my hands to anyone, except in self-defense... Basically, we are all here for a reason, all of our feelings are valid, but anger is dangerous, and if left unchecked, can do untold damage to a relationship.

PATSFAN's photo
Wed 12/02/09 08:47 AM
I'm very abusive towards my weiner

Madtanker03's photo
Wed 12/02/09 08:52 AM

I'm very abusive towards my weiner


Now that is just funny...:banana: :banana: :banana:

aladytoo's photo
Wed 12/02/09 08:59 AM
NO abuse is good for male or female.Sure we don't always agree.But to hit, call names or belittle.Come on we are adults.We can restrain.And for those that use the excuse, I couldn't help it, they made me do it....BS...get some help with anger management!!!!

Madtanker03's photo
Wed 12/02/09 09:12 AM

NO abuse is good for male or female.Sure we don't always agree.But to hit, call names or belittle.Come on we are adults.We can restrain.And for those that use the excuse, I couldn't help it, they made me do it....BS...get some help with anger management!!!!


I remember one of my sister's ex's saying that he had no control... To this day he flinches whenever someone rings the doorbell, but I will not say why...

If you need excuses, you are an addict and need help; and it would be hard to say someone simply 'made' you do anything. That is the beauty of human nature; to reject things we know to be wrong.

sweetie049's photo
Wed 12/02/09 09:34 AM
Edited by sweetie049 on Wed 12/02/09 10:22 AM
I was in an abusive relationship for many years Physical and verbal abuse, its not always as easy to get out as some people might think, you love that person so much and given so much to the relationship you want things to change but somewhere in the back of your mind you know it won't, its hard to explain if you haven't been in the situation. I have been out for some time now and am a stronger and happier woman for it!!

Dragoness's photo
Wed 12/02/09 09:55 AM
If hitting or physical abuse is in the relationship at any level it is not a good relationship and the people involved need to leave each other and get counseling.

HuckleberryFinn's photo
Wed 12/02/09 09:58 AM
"Any male who abuses a child or a woman, does not deserve the title of man, as he is still a boy who has yet to deal with his adolescent inadaquacies"

Bob Shank.......July 2004

Scott3895's photo
Wed 12/02/09 10:06 AM

I was in an abusive relationship for many years Physical and verbal abuse, its not always as easy to get out as some people might think, you love that person so much and given so much to the relationship you want things to change but somewhere in the back of your mind you know it won't, its hard to erx[plain if you haven't been in the situation. I have been out for some time now and am a stronger and happier woman for it!!




Glad to hear you got out of it, and became stronger for it! Big thumbsup!

no photo
Wed 12/02/09 10:09 AM
I know I'm feeding myself to sharks by saying this...

I choked the **** out of my ex-girlfriend with both hands when she insulted my dead father (who gave her a place to live and fed her) two months after he died, when she was the only one I confided my pain in.

My feeling, truly, is that it is unfair to INSTIGATE violence against women.

But it is equally unfair for a woman to instigate confrontation with a man under the umbrella of "I'd never hit a woman..."

If it's an issue, get the **** out of the situation.

Okay... sharks start biting...

sweetie049's photo
Wed 12/02/09 10:21 AM


I was in an abusive relationship for many years Physical and verbal abuse, its not always as easy to get out as some people might think, you love that person so much and given so much to the relationship you want things to change but somewhere in the back of your mind you know it won't, its hard to erx[plain if you haven't been in the situation. I have been out for some time now and am a stronger and happier woman for it!!




Glad to hear you got out of it, and became stronger for it! Big thumbsup!
Thanks, I appreciate that!!:smile:

XenomorphEyez's photo
Wed 12/02/09 11:35 AM
I'm the first person to yell hit her if I see a street fight brewing. laugh I kid.


I know I'm feeding myself to sharks by saying this...

I choked the **** out of my ex-girlfriend with both hands when she insulted my dead father (who gave her a place to live and fed her) two months after he died, when she was the only one I confided my pain in.

My feeling, truly, is that it is unfair to INSTIGATE violence against women.

But it is equally unfair for a woman to instigate confrontation with a man under the umbrella of "I'd never hit a woman..."

If it's an issue, get the **** out of the situation.

Okay... sharks start biting...

I agree with you.

I think a lot of girls believe the "let me taunt him because he would never hit me and I can get in his face and he won't do anything" is a cute stunt. I've seen this on many a Saturday Night out in NYC. Then when they get b@tch slapped, they are amazed it happened. There's only so far you can push a person before they had enough. That's a lack of respect and it's a toxic relationship.

I also feel if someone is being threatened and feel they are in danger, damn right, you defend yourself whether it is a man or woman. I'm not talking about if someone calls you a bad name or is taunting you verbally. But if someone puts their hands on you, it's open season.

Now if someone is in an abusive relationship, I do not believe anyone deserves to be abused. They need to get out of the relationship and get out of harms way.


no photo
Wed 12/02/09 11:37 AM

I know I'm feeding myself to sharks by saying this...

I choked the **** out of my ex-girlfriend with both hands when she insulted my dead father (who gave her a place to live and fed her) two months after he died, when she was the only one I confided my pain in.

My feeling, truly, is that it is unfair to INSTIGATE violence against women.

But it is equally unfair for a woman to instigate confrontation with a man under the umbrella of "I'd never hit a woman..."

If it's an issue, get the **** out of the situation.

Okay... sharks start biting...


I'm assuming this isn't the same one who enjoys the platonic naps, is it?

no photo
Wed 12/02/09 12:17 PM

I was raised not to raise my hand to any woman, I know to this day if my parents found out I ever beat a woman they would disown me as there son. My father never once hit my mother, although she got him good a few times for being out at the bars, a few scratches and a few flying pans and telephones and sure enough his bar days soon vanished.
I myself believe that a man hitting a woman once, is what I say one time too many. I've been agitated by women enough to get me enraged before, but I just try to close myself down or get out of the situation for a while to cool off. I did lock myself in a room once and pretty much destroyed everything in it, except my cast iron weight set which when I hit made my handles all bloody. Anyways was mad at my live in girlfriend at the time, so I took it out on objects, which I know is a form of aggression, but I know I would never ever hit a woman, unless it was to protect my own life....

What do you think, is one time too many times? You don't have to say if you got hit or not, but feel free too, I got popped a few times by a couple women (yes women do hit men sometimes lol). Would like input from both men and women.
:heart: :wink: Let me say THIS,PLEASE,,

IF you 'THINK' you WANT TO HIT A CHICK??????


"THATS" to much ON-YOUR-MIND,,,,to
even THINK-IT,,,,
YOU need to WALK-AWAY!,,,as IT WILL,,,lead to DOING THAT!
At some POINT,,,,,so,,,,she's NOT right for YOU,,,,,So if ya THINK IT,,,,KNOW-IT,,,,and leave her,,,,,,,bye-bye,,,end...

I have NEVER done this,,,nor could I,,,but MANY,MANY ladies have RECIEVED THISfrom guys,,,,,,,and its THROUGH THEM,,I KNOW THIS!!
:heart: :heart: :heart: :wink: drinker

no photo
Wed 12/02/09 12:26 PM


I know I'm feeding myself to sharks by saying this...

I choked the **** out of my ex-girlfriend with both hands when she insulted my dead father (who gave her a place to live and fed her) two months after he died, when she was the only one I confided my pain in.

My feeling, truly, is that it is unfair to INSTIGATE violence against women.

But it is equally unfair for a woman to instigate confrontation with a man under the umbrella of "I'd never hit a woman..."

If it's an issue, get the **** out of the situation.

Okay... sharks start biting...


I'm assuming this isn't the same one who enjoys the platonic naps, is it?


Sadly, yes...

Reflecting on my action it is sickening.

But it was because we shared so much and she was one of the only people I knew that met my dad that made me so ****ing angry when she went out of her way to insult him a couple months after we burnt him up for cremation. Went out of her way.

And so did I.

Looking back, it's regrettable.
I don't like imposing my will on the weaker, which she was (at least physically).

It kinda makes me sick, actually, thinking about that night...

I guess that would be one of my few regrets.

But she went out of her way to insult the man that saved me from certain death for 20 years for no discernible reason.

I shouldn't have touched her. The situation was toxic, and unnecessary. It was my inability to detach from her and my feverous hunger to connect to anybody now that my best friend was dead that led me to strike out.

I didn't hit her. I choked her. It wasn't fair.

I regret, now recalling it.

I don't think a girl or woman ever has the right to be "assaulted" physically under any circumstances other than the opposing party instigating physical violence.

For the record, earlier today this same girl bought me a beer for my birthday.

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