Hi everyone just joined,looking for some excitement in my life

my niece's daughter born last week.

hello and welcome lenny

No, people don't become addicted to it but may have grown up with it and thats where their comfort zone is. They naturally gravitate to certain relationships (adult children of alcoholics drawn to such) and unless they realize it and work on it, hx repeats itself.

OP, you could try texting him back with, 'sorry you are sick but I will no longer tolerate any form of verbal nastiness from you! no matter how you're feeling and will forego this relationship if it continues', or something along the lines. We all must set our boundaries, and it does work (seen it). Wake him up a little...if it continues then you know it's time for the door..been there and I left...only it was physical- one time. That I wouldn't give a 2nd chance to.

well he used to reply back that he missed me to even told me once he loved me over the phone..but that was before he came home for week to see his son and hes got that kid with his ex girlfriend.

while he was gone his phone was off and was going to straight to voice mail and when he came back he didn't reply that he missed me back anymore.

hes always been an angry person ive talked to people hes grown up with so i dont know.he cussed me out when i asked him if i could go out and he cussed at him when i was trying to tell him sorry..

i left him alone and havent gotten any word from him then again like i said its been about a month or so sence hes shown me any affection.

He is a manipulator and abusor, he used guilt in the text messages to try to get you to do what he wanted you to do.

He will only get worse. When one thing stops working on you he will use worse methods.

The only thing to do with these types is leave them alone. Tell him he needs help and hope he gets it.

As long as us women put up with these antics they will continue to do them.

1 - couple of questions why are you asking another person for permission for you to go out?

2 - you admit he's an angry person, have gotten confirmation of his anger issues from other people, why are you holding on?

3 - he verbally abuses you, why are you holding on?

4 - he's not showing you attention, what exactly do you think you're holding on for?

good luck to you

remember he will treat you as you allow him to.
Take control back, don't settle for the first fool, interview a few
You are young, beautiful and have a lifetime ahead of you.
Were I you, I'd chose to be happy not miserable or confused JMO

according to him he wants to know where i am and to make sure im safe but ever since he got back from seeing his son and his son lives with his babies momma i wonder if something happened i told him if he wants to **** her go ahead just leave me alone and when my brother gets involved and does his role of the big brother my boyfriend gets mad and doesn't want my brother to speak to him period.hes in the national guard getting ready to go over seas.

im not sure why i keep holding on its not like im starved for attenion i get attention from guys,he told me once its hard for him to say he loves me but ive been together on an off for 4 years you think after 4 years it would be easy to show someone you say you love affection! my brother who is also in the army but at home at the moment said that where my boyfriend its really stresfull i get that hes stressed and doesnt have a lot of time to contact me but he never says i love your or i miss you anymore.and its been about a month or so

and i told him if u would just tell me u love me and miss me once in a while it would make a million things better but no hes getting mad at me.

one night i randomly doing him that i hope he was doing ok and i get a text message back saying that he cant breath hes got a migraine and cant sleep and hes spec fuxxcking tacular.i didnt even know he was having problems til i asked him and then he spec fooking tacular!

but i still dont know why i told on i guess when hes home i have a lot of fun with him and hes a fun person to be around but such anger in him kinda makes me nervous.

Hummm huhhhh seriously you need to read what your saying for no matter what. Anyone in here tells ya what is on that road ahead you keep going down. Regardless you will remain on that road for within your responses. All your doing is making up excuses for him to walk all over you. And believe he will hell when ever someone has to know every move you make and they get upset or mad if you go do something they are controlling.


But............I assure you that your not the first one nor will you be the last one to listen to other women telling you it will only get worse. But.................yet you will stay and give excuse for his actions...

I my self put up with the verbal from my ex not all the time and he never laid a hand on me. But I assure ya it would only take me one time for them to yell at me or put me down. And I don't think they would like my reaction.

But I tell ya there use to be a few here that was there and lived it for many years before they finally got away.. Many nights I sat here and listen to their stories of the past and all they went through. No telling how many nights I sat here tears streaming down my face as I listen to the stories.

Only you hold that key for when or if it gets as bad as the ones I know put up with. It is too late by then for they have already broke ya down and ya keep thinking it will get better. Ya know I'm sure a lot of women thought the same thing as they were taking their last breath............................

If you feel it isn't a healthy situation to be in, leave the situation.... children are no reason to stay in an unhealthy relationship. All it does is teach them that unhealthy relationships is the only relationship.

a real man would encourage you to go out and have fun with your friends

Humm a real man would not treat you like you were a piece of property,,,,,,,,,

agreed

If this kind of behavior was made known to the military this person would be put into medical hold, counseling, maybe even discharged, immediately which should tell you that he has some serious problems and is not a good person to be involved with.

I would strongly recommend you seek out your community mental health and get some counseling if you even remotely think this is a desireable choice for a boyfriend OR how ANYONE should treat you in a relationship. It is wrong on so many levels that I don't want to start on the list.

I will say if you continue to have this relationship write and advance directive, a will, and life insurance because you are really likely to end up in a box before you ever enjoy any military benifits as a spouse.

Considering your snide remark about him being "on duty" you will never make it as a military spouse anyway.

sunshine, he and everyone else will treat you as you allow.
why are you giving him the option and responsibility to leave you alone? If you don't like how he is treating you, you leave.

after 4 years you would think he and you know eachother by now, but like you mentioned it's on and off - not sure who leaves and comes back but it's already a safenet not a relationship (jmo)


The same way you have made individual references to your likes and dislikes about your relationship in this post, take a moment and decide for yourself, do you want to continue to be treated like this? Will you/he always be the safety net of the other?

I wouldn't accept his behavior from anyone, but do what's best for you.

gain control of your life
demand respect from everyone
treat others how you want to be treated
and never settle
you are young
you are beautiful
you are important

This is one time when I am glad I am older and wiser.

Great response Tx

I pity the fool that tries this to me