I've seen a couple like that, and POF has a button that you can recommend people for your friends. I thought it was totally odd.

But then, I've never let any friends I know in person set me up with anyone, since they tend to run towards strange tastes anyways, so...

Shows how much attention I've been paying to POF....!

But, when I was younger, I had two friends who were introducing me to new prospects on a regular basis. None of them were what I would call "serious long-term material" -- but they were never arsonists or phony bank tellers, and only a few had drug issues.

It was mostly a series of innocuous, short-term entanglements that were more distractions than relationships. I suppose, if I'm completely honest about it, that was all I really wanted at the time.

Real life is different now. I don't know anyone who would have the remotest possibility of knowing someone I might actually be interested in. One looks for options.

Saw something on another site that I hadn't seen before.

There was a girl who said something along these lines in her profile: "Don't hesitate to write me. Even if we don't end up dating, we could be good friends and fix each other up with people we know."

OK, I have seen the occasional "I'm setting up this account for my mother because she needs to find a good man," and such -- the "intervening third party" concept. But I've never seen anyone make the suggestion that people could just get to know each other on a dating site and fix each other up.

The idea intrigues me because a.) pretty much everybody I've ever been involved with was someone I met through a friend, and b.) I do get e-mails from people who say things like "My friend likes you but she's intimidated by your writing," etc.

I'm just wondering if anybody sees this as a viable option.

I'm skeptical because the "fixer-uppers" I knew in the past were people who really knew me. They were like sisters to me, although I never had an actual real-life sister. But I knew they weren't going to hook me up with an arsonist, for example; which is exactly what the first girl I met from a dating site turned out to be.

And there are a few people -- only a few -- I feel I know well enough on line to be able to trust their judgment about this sort of thing, although it doesn't really matter since they all live too far away to provide any useful connections....

I've always preferred the "meeting-through-friends" option because of the inherent "screening process" that you simply don't get meeting people on line. And I'm not sure that an "on-line-friends-screening-process" would necessarily be as effective as the real-life version.

But I don't really know....

That's like the 'I'm really not going to lower my standards for you, but I do have a needy friend that you are perfect for and I get to hear all the gory details' option

Well, that part wouldn't bother me at all, given that I understand standards are entirely subjective anyway.

The part that bothers me is the fact that I just don't see anybody suitable anywhere I look; maybe if I knew some people locally, my chances might improve.

I have found when looking you need 3 things tho, communication, trust ,honesty.With out one you have nothing... as for the rest I can lower my standards, as we all change year to year. I tend to run into people that are just all words blah blah blah , and nothing to back their word.

I agree with you, in theory. But I've only found communication with one person, and have never found trust or honesty at all. Does that mean I should stop looking? I'm not sure.

You know Lex.
They are probably all around you.
You just cannot see them.
That is why "friends" often fall for each other.
They are always around, but unseen until..a moment happens.
Enlightenment.

So, is this the idea?
You hook up with a person as a friend who then tries
to hook you up with their friends?

Isn't that what you are doing already on Mingle?

I mean.
If I knew someone that met your, uh, loooooooooooooooong
list of requirements, I would forward them to you :-)

So.
Probably not a bad idea.
But I think you are already on it.

And I am thinking you are not the kind of dinosaur that
would be good at the superfluous friends.

I don't want anyone choosing someone for me.

It would be a way to lose friendship, you know?

Also, if the guy is so great why aren't they dating him themselves (single friends that is)?

Ideally, I would tend to agree with this. But the reality is that I haven't been able to find anyone even moderately interesting for over a year now. I have always been of the opinion that there's nothing wrong with asking for help when one needs it.



Never worked that way for me. My two "fixer-uppers" were wonderful friends. They eventually moved away, to other parts of the world, but I will never have anything but love and appreciation for them, despite their inability to find me anyone I could be with for more than a few months!



There were valid reasons why it would not have been feasible for me to date my "fixer-uppers." That did not prevent them from trying to help me with my situation, and vice versa.

There is a certain benefit to being a recluse

A year is not that long (believe me I know of what I speak). It may be what you seek is right in front of you, or what you really want may in reality not be what you need.

As for staying with someone more than a few months. I can relate. I tend to become bored very easily. Not blaming the person I would be involved with, it's just the way I'm wired.

I have people trying to fix me up constantly.
I tell them I'm not interested and they do it anyway.
Needless to say, these people are no longer my friends.

People tend to say this a lot, and maybe in some cases, it's dead on -- but I can assure you, there is nothing and no one right in front of me.

As for the want/need thing, I have a pretty firm grasp of that. There has been more than enough trial & error (mostly error) to clarify this beyond any doubt in my mind.



Same here. I get bored very easily, and the minute the domestication agenda kicks in, I'm out. It isn't that there's necessarily anything wrong with my exes having HAD the domestication agenda; it's just that it's definitely not for me.



I've had a few make such suggestions recently, but these were cases where it was clear from the beginning that it was a bad idea.

All I'm saying is I wouldn't necessarily be opposed to the idea, assuming the other stuff added up right.

It sounds like you and I are in the same boat.

I believe that I am so set in my ways, it's gonna take one heck of a man to deal with me on my terms.

Not many guys interested in a strong woman that's not afraid to share her point of view.