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Topic: What do you prefer?
no photo
Fri 02/26/10 11:09 AM
When you're looking for someone to date, do you look for someone who has been married before? Or someone who has never been married? What about kids? Do you prefer they already have kids? Or no kids? Do these things even matter to you?

no photo
Fri 02/26/10 11:23 AM

When you're looking for someone to date, do you look for someone who has been married before? Or someone who has never been married? What about kids? Do you prefer they already have kids? Or no kids? Do these things even matter to you?


It doesn't matter...

I'm not saying "I'm easy"...(wait a minute, erase that...yes I am)!

The chemistry has to be there, that's the main thing...for me anyway!


drinks

CatsLoveMe's photo
Fri 02/26/10 11:26 AM

When you're looking for someone to date, do you look for someone who has been married before? Or someone who has never been married? What about kids? Do you prefer they already have kids? Or no kids? Do these things even matter to you?


How very superficial. NO! It doesn't matter that they were married before or if they have kids. What might matter, is that the husband left you for a good reason or you left him for a good reason. Also, your kids better be little angels and not little brats. If everything is cool, then there's no problem.

TxsGal3333's photo
Fri 02/26/10 11:32 AM
Hummmm to me it does not matter if they have been married before or not. But most at my age have already been there done that.

As far as kids I do prefer that they are grown but.....it is not a stopping factor either.

Now days it seems more and more men are having family's later in life and still have teenagers as well as younger kids.

Even though I prefer their kids to be at least teenagers even if they were not and they seemed to be the right one I would accept them as well.

no photo
Fri 02/26/10 11:36 AM


When you're looking for someone to date, do you look for someone who has been married before? Or someone who has never been married? What about kids? Do you prefer they already have kids? Or no kids? Do these things even matter to you?


How very superficial. NO! It doesn't matter that they were married before or if they have kids. What might matter, is that the husband left you for a good reason or you left him for a good reason. Also, your kids better be little angels and not little brats. If everything is cool, then there's no problem.


I'm asking because apparently it does matter to many people. So, I was just curious as to what people had to say.

no photo
Fri 02/26/10 11:45 AM
I don't date men with children. So far none of the men I've dated has ever been married before; I seem to have a thing for the "non-marrying kind."laugh

CatsLoveMe's photo
Fri 02/26/10 12:02 PM



When you're looking for someone to date, do you look for someone who has been married before? Or someone who has never been married? What about kids? Do you prefer they already have kids? Or no kids? Do these things even matter to you?


How very superficial. NO! It doesn't matter that they were married before or if they have kids. What might matter, is that the husband left you for a good reason or you left him for a good reason. Also, your kids better be little angels and not little brats. If everything is cool, then there's no problem.


I'm asking because apparently it does matter to many people. So, I was just curious as to what people had to say.


It does matter to some, and I might be one of them. I would want to hear the background story first and then I would make a decision. But just based on the fact that they were married or had children, it doesn't make a difference to me. The drama does.

no photo
Fri 02/26/10 12:13 PM
Do these things even matter to you?


Nope. They just need to have a beautiful heart.

no photo
Fri 02/26/10 12:16 PM
Some men have asked me before what was wrong with me since I'm over 30 and have not yet been married. Some men who have children have told me that because I don't have children, there's no way I could understand someone who does.

So yes, it does matter to some.

For me? It doesn't really matter. Though, I'd wonder more about someone who has been divorced several times than I would about someone who has never been married.

no photo
Fri 02/26/10 12:17 PM

Do these things even matter to you?


Nope. They just need to have a beautiful heart.


:thumbsup:

bedlum1's photo
Fri 02/26/10 01:01 PM
personaly id rather the kids be grown and moved out or close to it mine is im 40 now and ready to do things...lol

CatsLoveMe's photo
Fri 02/26/10 01:18 PM

Some men have asked me before what was wrong with me since I'm over 30 and have not yet been married. Some men who have children have told me that because I don't have children, there's no way I could understand someone who does.

So yes, it does matter to some.

For me? It doesn't really matter. Though, I'd wonder more about someone who has been divorced several times than I would about someone who has never been married.


I'd have to agree with you there. A track record of failures would seem to me indicate heavy baggage.

papersmile's photo
Fri 02/26/10 02:13 PM
i never put that much thought into it and rather just base if i'd date someone on whether we have a good rapport or not.

however, if a man i were interested in had kids, it'd be much easier on us if his kids were the same age/gender as mine so that we'd also be able to do things together when we each had our children with us. a friend of mine once said that blending families was the hardest thing he's ever done (and this from a man who has battled cancer and lost an infant).

~~~~
if a man had never been married before, i'd wonder why.

no photo
Fri 02/26/10 02:39 PM

i never put that much thought into it and rather just base if i'd date someone on whether we have a good rapport or not.

however, if a man i were interested in had kids, it'd be much easier on us if his kids were the same age/gender as mine so that we'd also be able to do things together when we each had our children with us. a friend of mine once said that blending families was the hardest thing he's ever done (and this from a man who has battled cancer and lost an infant).

~~~~
if a man had never been married before, i'd wonder why.


That about sums it up in a nutshellshades

EquusDancer's photo
Fri 02/26/10 03:39 PM
I've tried a bit of it all, over the years. And as the relationships failed, I've made decisions such as -

I won't date men with young children, and prefer they be grown and gone. There's way to many hassles involved with young kids. Especially by the time you deal with ignorant people, kids and animals. I've been careful not to have kids, because I don't want them, and at the very least, I want them with the right person, which I haven't met so far. I also believe in population control, so that also tends to negate men who have had kids.

Prefer men older then myself, within a 10 year area, though that's certainly negotiable. I get along well with older men, so long as they haven't gotten so laid back, that they aren't even up for the movies, traveling, or going out to festivals or other fun things.

I have more concerns with men who have been married and divorced mutiple times. A man who hasn't been married, makes me feel that he's willing to be patient and wait for the right one, rather then just settle for what's easy.

no photo
Fri 02/26/10 03:42 PM

A man who hasn't been married, makes me feel that he's willing to be patient and wait for the right one, rather then just settle for what's easy.


:thumbsup:

Dragoness's photo
Fri 02/26/10 03:46 PM

personaly id rather the kids be grown and moved out or close to it mine is im 40 now and ready to do things...lol


I agree.

I have raised mine and I am not sure I am up to raising more.


Dragoness's photo
Fri 02/26/10 03:48 PM
As for having been married....there is a two sided coin there. They seem to be gun shy after a failed marriage unless they have really resolved the marriage in their minds and it shows that they are willing to give it all to a relationship, maybe....

EquusDancer's photo
Fri 02/26/10 03:57 PM

As for having been married....there is a two sided coin there. They seem to be gun shy after a failed marriage unless they have really resolved the marriage in their minds and it shows that they are willing to give it all to a relationship, maybe....


Oh yes, there's certainly always circumstances, and I don't negate some of those. My concern is the one's who literally hop in and out of marriage, because they are just plain unhappy, and aren't willing to make it work. And more and more, there are plenty or that sort running around.

I want the (currently) 36 years of marriage type of thing, that my parents have. At least until my mom kills my dad or takes him up on the offer to feed him to the bears, lol. They have had a loving, and fun marriage, even with ups and downs. There was only one time when we were in our teens that my brother and I truly worried about a divorce, but they hashed it out, and for the most part it's been a happy, zany, oddball marriage.

FETTS61's photo
Fri 02/26/10 04:25 PM
for me, it doesnt matter if they had been married or not, but id like them to have kids only because then they can understand better if something comes up because of the kids and hopefully they will understand more

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