If am I wrong I would like to know, but quite frankly I'm doing this because I'm getting tired of going out with girls that like what I have to say on relationships, then end up going out with a guy that does nothing of it and then complain about them. And guys, you may hate me for posting this but then again this is my personal opinion on how this is to work.

Both sides:
1. Male or female, there is no rule as far as who makes initial contact. Whether the woman sees a man she wants or visa versa.

2. If the individual being approached already has a relationship in place it is up to them to stand their ground and stay true and faithful. This part requires a lot of faith and trust from both sides of the relationship but in the end will strength or prove how much the other person is dedicated to the relationship.

3. Even though sex isn't an improtant part of an emotional connection for the relationship, it is an important for the future of the relationship. Discuss openly with one another once that point comes around about intrests, birth control, and so on. And pulling out isn't birth control.

This part is for the men:
1. Be a MAN!!! If your girl is being disrespected protect her honor. If your taking her out to a restraunt open the door, pull her chair out for her and push it in for her. Take care of yourself, and at the same time show the ability to care for her.

2. In the bedroom, take the initiative. My personal belief is that it is the man's duty to make the woman feel safe, welcomed, needed, desired, and everything in between. This is probably the most improtant thing, if you woman doesn't feel desired, doesn't feel needed or sexy, the relationship will turn sour.

3. Actually listen to your woman, add comments and suggestions. Be open minded and honest. If it is something that is need of work, it is okay to ask your partner to help you through it, that's why you two are together for support of one another. Make the effort to improve yourself for you lady and explain how you expect the same from her, it is a give and take situation.

Exta: If this sounds more and more like a marriage to you then it probably is what I'm basing it off of. Dating relationship as boyfriend/girlfriend is the prelude to the vows being taken. Taking a test drive to make sure this is the person you both want to spend the rest of your lives with, because in my mind marriage is till death do you part, if you weren't sure or had your doubts before your marriage then it should have been worked out before the vows are said.

Women:

Extra: keep in mind as a guy I don't fully understand how you ladies process things in your minds, hearts, and soul. Everytime I think I have it figured out I get surprised either in one of more of the 3 areas I mentioned earlier.

1. Ladies, be open and explain to your man about a problem or situation. And also please keep an open mind when a guy explains himself and try to see things from his prospective as much as he tries to see it from yours.

2. Don't listen to mom and dad all the time. Who you date and what choices you make are yours and yours alone. A prime example being "You should marry a skinny rich guy." And yes I have had a girlfriend have her mother actually say this to her. If you find someone who you want to be with, don't let your parents determine you deserve better, it is honestly up to you to decide whether you do or don't. In short, be self-aware, and indepenent on your choices on who you want to be with.

3. For the bedroom, don't fake orgasms. If the guy isn't doing it for you tell him so he can try something different, experiement with each other and see what it is that gets you both going.


That's all I got right now. If you want to rip me go ahead, if you want to add or discuss and give feedback, that is more than welcomed. I'm sure my problems with past girls envolves something wrong with me, and yes something happened to make me write this. I just wanted to get this off my chest as far as how I feel.

what you wrote makes sense....

It does.

For your info, I donot plan to marry a skinny rich guy...I want a broad, average rich guy Even us women want something to hold onto

I have to wonder about all the lecture on women and how they should manage their sexuality; ie initiateing sexual encounters, not faking orgazams, and generally taking responsibility to teach guys how to be good lovers when I see very little about a MAN reading a legitimate manual about female sexuality, takeing to a qualified physician about technical questions, or even paying enough attention to know wheather what he is doing is accually createing pleasure, or asking for information outside of a situation he hopes is going to lead to sex. My feeling is if you don't know wheather you are with someone faking it or not then you are a really lousy lay.

i actually met someone the other day from another dating site
and hes not skinny(far from that) but hes rich he drives a jag.
but im not really that interested but we talked for 10hours even during dinner.. nice guy. but not looking to be in someone relationship and have to be a called a gold digger for thats not me

Yeah, I know what you mean ....Wait, what site was that?

A bit of good insight ... for starters ...

"I'm getting tired of going out with girls that like what I have to say on relationships, then end up going out with a guy that does nothing of it and then complain about them."

...maybe because you're thinking too much like a chick, man. If your conversations are anything like what you wrote--outlining **** with bullet points and all--start with rethinking that process. Notice how these women are agreeing with you wholeheartedly? That's usually a bad sign, brotha. :D

don't be too soft

peace

I plan to marry a skinny poor guy, I grew up with rich people, I'm not a good fit for them.

i have a friend that i went to high school with nad her family was dirt poor they lived in a 1bedroom shack(serisouly)
and when i had invited her to my home, she thought we were rich. no my parents were self employed for 21yrs and they worked for there money
my dad worked in realestate when i was little and my parents had rentals
and when we moved my dad own moble oil distibutors
that was his business
so he was never home and my mom was a stay at home mom untill i was in 4th grade that was about the time my parents got divorced

That is possibly part of my problem. I think a lot like a chick when it comes to a relationship, but when it comes to other matters I am a guy. Perhaps I need to be a little tuffer, it is something to consider.

You actually have brought up a good point, and that was something I had neglected to mention on the guy's list. One is to actually do research. Go to medical websites, pick up a book, just do a little bit of research to become a better lover. Just sometimes all the research you preform won't do with some situations. That's when the women need to step up some. I'm not saying manage your sexuality, or saying you have to initiate the sexual encounters, I'm just saying that women don't need to wait around to be picked, that the way our culture is going women are becoming less equal and more dominate in socal standings, from what I have seen.

Ummm, 'scuse pliz, but THIS is a huge red flag ... IF, as described here, there is a 'relationship in place' and this is a known fact when 'the move' is made on the 'party of the first part', then the following problem-laden three-act-play will more than likely unfold as a result:

(1) Boy meets [attached] girl (or vice-versa) ...

(2) Boy hits on [attached] girl with the full knowledge that said girl is already in a 'committed' relationship

(3) Boy convinces said [attached] girl to come over to his side of the Court of Romance and leave her Erstwhile Lover and Companion.

(4) Said [attached] girl leaves 'party of the second part' to be with her new 'true love'

(5) 'True love' Nr 2 is now happy - until [newly-attached] girl is hit on by 'party of the third part' and decides that the grass really IS greener with the new guy and says 'Adieu' ...

(6) Boy is once again dejected, lonely, and looking, but now curses said [formerly attached] girl for her 'unfaithfulness' - even tho' said 'unfaithfulness' was perfectly fine when it worked in HIS favor ...

And yes, ladies, this IS a 'reversible' scenario ... what goes 'round comes 'round ... I'm just sayin' ...

Ouch, yeah, but sometimes truth hurts...

DO NOT listen to that guy! His advice is misogynistic in every sense of the word.

You don't have to think like a "man" or a "woman". Be comfortable in your own skin and use common sense.