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Topic: Why do I always have to start the conversation?
beautyonthefire's photo
Sat 05/08/10 10:27 PM
Hey guys...I am in need of some advice. So I have been talking to this guy online for a couple of weeks. I am interested in this person and he seems interested in me, but it seems like I always have to initiate the conversation. When I do message him first, he always responds and seems happy to hear from me and we end up having great conversations lasting hours. He even once said that I should feel free to message him whenever I feel like talking. Sometimes I wonder if he isn't as interested as I am. On the other hand I start telling myself maybe he is just shy or something. Should I stop messaging him or is that being petty? I am probably overthinking all of this but, any thoughts?

Jersey_Devil's photo
Sat 05/08/10 10:28 PM
Try not messaging him for a few days and see what happens...I mean, what do you have to lose?
:)

Tessa02's photo
Sat 05/08/10 10:31 PM
My son is a lot like that. I'll always have to initiate the conversation & ask questions. He's also on the shy side even talking to me. If you have good conversations then I'd continue talking for awhile. Have you tried talking on the phone? May be a little more relaxed.

Phuque2's photo
Sat 05/08/10 10:32 PM
Edited by Phuque2 on Sat 05/08/10 10:33 PM
Ask him straight out....Are you interested in me???? Then ask him ALL the questians you need to know the answers to....

Thats a real good start....

But when the Godfather speaks from the Jersey Shore Ya listen to him first....

Hi my old friend
aka...Mikesfunfarm

StankyShawn's photo
Sat 05/08/10 10:33 PM
I think that maybe he doesn't want to constantly bother you because he doesn't want to scare you off or annoy you.

misstina2's photo
Sat 05/08/10 10:34 PM

Try not messaging him for a few days and see what happens...I mean, what do you have to lose?
:)
I agreeflowerforyou

RowBaby's photo
Sat 05/08/10 10:38 PM
Edited by RowBaby on Sat 05/08/10 10:38 PM
When I do this to someone I'm texting or emailing, it usually means I'm not all that interested at the moment. That or I'm more distracted by someone else.

IMO ignore him for awhile and see if he chases you.



chartley1212's photo
Sat 05/08/10 10:48 PM
ask him if he is interested in you. some guys are just shy or dont know how to communicate well unless someone else starts it. Just how it is sometimes. but just keep going for it, you dont want to miss out on something good! Good Luck!

AndyBgood's photo
Sat 05/08/10 11:03 PM
Some of us guys are tired of doing all the contact work. it is nice for a woman to do that for a change!

I am a lousy mind reader!

imsingle951's photo
Sun 05/09/10 12:28 AM

When I do this to someone I'm texting or emailing, it usually means I'm not all that interested at the moment. That or I'm more distracted by someone else.

IMO ignore him for awhile and see if he chases you.



I agree

JustAGuy2112's photo
Sun 05/09/10 09:43 AM

Some of us guys are tired of doing all the contact work. it is nice for a woman to do that for a change!

I am a lousy mind reader!


For the first contact, I would totally agree with this.

However, after that point, if the guy really is interested, then the contact, at minimum, should be equal.

74Drew's photo
Sun 05/09/10 10:00 AM
some people aren't good at initiating conversations.

i'm that way.

i'm a better listener. i'm not good at asking people questions, but i'm good at giving feedback.



. . .

lilangel2's photo
Sun 05/09/10 10:03 AM
If it bugs you now it will bug you more later...ease away from that one...not that he is a bad person, just that you must not click with each other.flowerforyou

no photo
Sun 05/09/10 02:52 PM

Hey guys...I am in need of some advice. So I have been talking to this guy online for a couple of weeks. I am interested in this person and he seems interested in me, but it seems like I always have to initiate the conversation. When I do message him first, he always responds and seems happy to hear from me and we end up having great conversations lasting hours. He even once said that I should feel free to message him whenever I feel like talking. Sometimes I wonder if he isn't as interested as I am. On the other hand I start telling myself maybe he is just shy or something. Should I stop messaging him or is that being petty? I am probably overthinking all of this but, any thoughts?


No. I sense that this is a good guy. Just hard to get to know.

motowndowntown's photo
Sun 05/09/10 03:12 PM
Don't play games by not talking to him to "see what happens".

If you like chatting with him chat. If you don't don't.

Good relationships do not start out with agendas, time limits, or "let me do this and see what happens" gamesmanship.

no photo
Sun 05/09/10 03:18 PM

Don't play games by not talking to him to "see what happens".

If you like chatting with him chat. If you don't don't.

Good relationships do not start out with agendas, time limits, or "let me do this and see what happens" gamesmanship.



smokin Okay, laid back casual guy, I'll get strait to the point. Let's lay back and get casual. smokin smokin laugh laugh bigsmile

motowndowntown's photo
Sun 05/09/10 03:21 PM


Don't play games by not talking to him to "see what happens".

If you like chatting with him chat. If you don't don't.

Good relationships do not start out with agendas, time limits, or "let me do this and see what happens" gamesmanship.



smokin Okay, laid back casual guy, I'll get strait to the point. Let's lay back and get casual. smokin smokin laugh laugh bigsmile



Only if you have a comfortable couch and can make a real good sandwich.

willing2's photo
Sun 05/09/10 03:23 PM


Don't play games by not talking to him to "see what happens".

If you like chatting with him chat. If you don't don't.

Good relationships do not start out with agendas, time limits, or "let me do this and see what happens" gamesmanship.



smokin Okay, laid back casual guy, I'll get strait to the point. Let's lay back and get casual. smokin smokin laugh laugh bigsmile


You bad girl!!!! Just my type.drinker :thumbsup: rofl shades
I would suggest you just bich-slap him and take it!drinker pitchfork

beautyonthefire's photo
Sun 05/09/10 05:52 PM

Try not messaging him for a few days and see what happens...I mean, what do you have to lose?
:)


I totally see your point...but then I think well i have a potential good guy to lose who just isn't good at initiating conversationn but great at keeping it lol. I guess thats what I tell myself.

beautyonthefire's photo
Sun 05/09/10 05:56 PM
Edited by beautyonthefire on Sun 05/09/10 06:04 PM

Don't play games by not talking to him to "see what happens".

If you like chatting with him chat. If you don't don't.

Good relationships do not start out with agendas, time limits, or "let me do this and see what happens" gamesmanship.


I think i am leaning toward this philosophy... I like chatting with him and if he doesn't feel the same he would find a way to not talk to me, but he never does. In fact, im usually the one who has to end our conversations when we get talking into the wee hours of the night.

I suppose only time will tell if I am being naive or not. :-)

Thanks for all of your thoughts people!!

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