I can't believe this thread is still going. I am in southern CA. I do not see this as a problem if your son is a good person, he is a good person. Like I said, here we are just grateful that children don't grow up to be tweakers or crack dealers, etc. Any child, gay or straight is a gift from god. I was never so blessed and then later couldn't have them. Be grateful for any healthy child. My friend was horrified that his daughter was a lesbian. He very much wants grandchildren. My remark to him as they are in a committed relationship, 2 uteruses, you have just doubled your odds as a grandparent. He said, "I never considered that".

Everyone has given great advice, but in the end only you can really know what to do. Love him as he is and cherish that, be thankful that you have a son willing to be himself and not do only what other people make him do, cuz in the long run your family's happiness is at stake.

A good movie for this type of this is Doing Time on Maple Drive, great movie....

I have sole custody of my children. My son is the youngest of three, he 15 years old now and grew up with me. He`s basically surrounded by me and my two other adult daughters. He is smart and in a french immersion program and a constant honor student. He`s sporting a typically longer hair, he walks very refine he joins dance troupes and he dances like a young lady. I enrolled him to Karate which he`s doing very well but during breaks he sits like a lady. I drove him twice to an activity and was surprised that he hangs out with young ladies, his age. I talked to him about it, he said he has plans about his life that he wants to have a family and children one day, but what I am seeing on his actions and ways were totally the opposite. I wish I am wrong. I love him to death but God knows I want to see him as any normal grown up man one day. I don`t know what to do. Please help!

Behaviors can and should be changed to fit into society. People moderate their behaviors based on their current environment every day. You are being so open minded, that you are being ridiculous. Moderating behaviors to avoid bullying makes a hell of a lot more sense and is a lot more humane than saying "Act how you want and wait for the world to become more accepting." That is a completely batty expectation.

he doesn't want to be friends with kids who were less serious with their studies. I learned to accept that, but not even one male friend was alarming, I saw him twice eating lunch on his own at school, That made me really really sad.

not at all, but its also not okay with me to criminalize opinions, speech, or beliefs

I wouldnt know who to trust with the task of deciding where the acceptable lines were ,,,,

Explain to me just HOW eating strictly live, healthy, nutritionally rich foods is going to cause problems. That makes no sense at all. There's nothing bad in it!

are you saying three uteruses would have more of a chance of making babies than one uterus and some testicles?....




still not gonna happen without a man involved somewhere,,,,

I love this, we usually know our children best and we have to decide what is best for them.

Disagree, your job as a parent is to love and teach them about the ways of the world as best you can, so that they will make good choices growing up.

It is NOT your job however to decide what is best for them, only they can decide that in the end no matter what you think about it. The attitude that you have to decide what's good for your kid, even if the kid grows up and wants to go on a different path, is a good way to alienate it.

Also, if you try to push your child into any particular box, even when they increasingly struggle to identify with it if not reject it, you don't know your child like you think either. If you did, you'd understand they are trying to make their own way into the world, instead of fighting them at every turn because something isn't accepted by YOUR beliefs.

What you believe may work for you, but it doesn't work for everyone. People are way too complex to be limited to any one set of beliefs strictly. You would be wise to realize that, it makes life a lot easier.

'Disagree, your job as a parent is to love and teach them about the ways of the world as best you can, so that they will make good choices growing up. '


my job is to love and teach them based upon what is BEST for them

that is why I am older, so I can have the experiences which teach me the best and worst paths in life, to teach me what works and what doesnt, to teach me what consequence follows which actions

so I Can pass it on as lessons for my own children,,,,

What people need to realize is raising children is a BALANCE of things,, that means that you steer them away from what is not good for them, even if they fight you tooth and nail, thats the hard part about being a parent

(its not just letting them do what they want to avoid the fight now and watching them suffer for it later)

my daughter fights me tooth and nail to stay up late at night, but I know its not healthy for her, so I continue to be consistent in that lesson

my son fights me tooth and nail about cooking his own meals, but I know its not healthy for him to go out into the world without knowing how to look after himself, so I continue to be consistent in that lesson

its about balance, which will include steering them from things that are bad for them while encouraging things that are going to better affect the outcome of their life once they are on their own

BALANCE, it doesnt require a parent to let them decide completely on their own what is "best' because as children they dont have the experiences to know whats best all the time,,,,

this is wrong, before a bible was ever written there were people who felt sodomy was wrong, someone writes a book and others agree with what it says

anything written in a book came from someones MIND first, which negates the possibility that ALL objection to homosexuality comes from religion

I can't believe this thread is still going. I am in southern CA. I do not see this as a problem if your son is a good person, he is a good person. Like I said, here we are just grateful that children don't grow up to be tweakers or crack dealers, etc. Any child, gay or straight is a gift from god. I was never so blessed and then later couldn't have them. Be grateful for any healthy child. My friend was horrified that his daughter was a lesbian. He very much wants grandchildren. My remark to him as they are in a committed relationship, 2 uteruses, you have just doubled your odds as a grandparent. He said, "I never considered that".

Everyone has given great advice, but in the end only you can really know what to do. Love him as he is and cherish that, be thankful that you have a son willing to be himself and not do only what other people make him do, cuz in the long run your family's happiness is at stake.

A good movie for this type of this is Doing Time on Maple Drive, great movie....

Okay. 14 pages in and I haven't read the conversation. I'm sure I'm repeating others, but thats okay - you can hear the same thing from many people.

NOTHING that you wrote implies that he is gay. Being effeminate does not mean you like cock. Masculinity is largely a cultural creation - what is masculine in one culture is effeminate in another.

'Ladies' have grace and poise - there is nothing wrong with a (presumably hetero) male having those qualities... though it is a bit different.

During periods of my life when I did a lot of yoga, I developed more grace, fluidity of movement, and the flexibility to position myself in a greater range of positions (sitting or standing) which other people found effeminate. It was comfortable. Later I saw drawings from centuries ago of yogis sitting and standing the same positions. When you are very flexible, different positions are comfortable than when you are not flexible.

If he is taking dance, then this applies to him as well, but even more so because he is not just becoming more flexible, he is developing awareness of the positioning of his body that is different than you and I have. Be happy for him that he is developing that ability. It does not make him gay.

If he is into french culture than he may be influences by images of hetero men who have a different set of mannerism. Some americans associate some of those mannerism with gays, the french do not. It has nothing to do with being sexually attracted to men.

I'm not trying to imply there is anything wrong with being gay - I don't think there is. But being gay means being sexually attracted to men. Hetero men can have grace and poise and effeminate mannerisms.

I grew up in a single parent home, my real father was pretty much a sperm donor, he split as soon as he found out my mom was pregnant...I grew up with male role models, usually my moms boyfriend....even with all the male bonding and teaching me alot of male things...im still gay. My dad (her boyfriend that raised me) and my step dad (her current boyfriend) are very proud of me. I did not do what others wanted me to do, I will not just marry a woman and have kids just to make others happy. I am my own person, as long as he knows he is loved and knows he can be himself and not lose everything he holds dear, I am positive your son will turn out fine.

And yes you need a man to make a baby but you dont need one to raise a child

My uncle was very much like your son, very feminine or metrosexual as my friends and family call it. He was also raised in an environment dominated by women and that was why he picked up those tendencies, but he isn't gay. Also, after he moved out and got on his own two feet, he lost a lot of those more feminine behaviors.

On a side note, even if your son is gay and not just metro, hating him for it or telling him it's wrong is only going to make him feel like crap and put him into a situation where he is going to be more prone to depression or worse. Not saying that you're doing that or anything.

If he's old enough, you should just simply talk to him about it to find out if he really is gay or not. Or if homosexuality is utterly abominable to you, don't ask don't tell.