I always do, thanks

I always do, the reason I tried to seek for help is to get some helpful information from parents of the same situation as me. Having said that, I am here to learn and improve my ways of parenting and take the best out of everything.

Well whatever you do do not allow societal ills and stigmas interfere with loving your child. It really is that simple.

I can relate with your mom, because that is how i am feeling right now. Thinking that my son is a minor and the community he was in and dealing every day were kids and minors as well, which do not clearly understand his condition and situation. What I was trying to emphasize was that children were not as informed and educated as adults and that was one of my greatest concerns.

No not at all, I just don't want him to get hurt.

For all the contributors, thank you. Any information/suggestions regarding the topic you wish to share are most welcome

Kids need direction and role models... not licentious freedoms.

I believe that most odd behaviors we see in today's youth

are the effects of trends and what We "the decision makers" pass off

as "ok" and push to be acceptable and popular in our day.

Trends change and are so unstable...good reputations are constructed with care.

As parents WE are obligated to help build a firm foundation for our children.

We hear much in the news about parents who sexually violate their children...

How can we be sure we are not violating them by condoning and motivating their tendancies.

I can see our youth someday blaming us for NOT directing them better when they were young and knew no better.

ten·den·cy

ten·den·cy [téndənssee]
(plural ten·den·cies)
n
1. general inclination: a way in which somebody or something typically behaves or happens, or is likely to react, behave, or happen
2. movement toward something: a gradual, but steady progress, development, or shift of opinion in a particular direction
a tendency toward greater assertiveness



[Early 17th century. < medieval Latin tendentia < Latin tendere "tend, be inclined to"]
Encarta ® World English Dictionary © & (P) 1998-2005 Microsoft Corporation. All rights reserved.

What one would consider 'odd behavior' will vary between us all.

for example..i find it 'odd behavior' all of this;


"Kids need direction and role models... not licentious freedoms.

I believe that most odd behaviors we see in today's youth

are the effects of trends and what We "the decision makers" pass off

as "ok" and push to be acceptable and popular in our day.

Trends change and are so unstable...good reputations are constructed with care.

As parents WE are obligated to help build a firm foundation for our children.

We hear much in the news about parents who sexually violate their children...

How can we be sure we are not violating them by condoning and motivating their tendancies.

I can see our youth someday blaming us for NOT directing them better when they where young and knew no better.

ten·den·cy

ten·den·cy [téndənssee]
(plural ten·den·cies)
n
1. general inclination: a way in which somebody or something typically behaves or happens, or is likely to react, behave, or happen
2. movement toward something: a gradual, but steady progress, development, or shift of opinion in a particular direction
a tendency toward greater assertiveness



[Early 17th century. < medieval Latin tendentia < Latin tendere "tend, be inclined to"]
Encarta ® World English Dictionary © & (P) 1998-2005 Microsoft Corporation. All rights reserved."


out of this:

"just love him

give him the freedom to be who he is
and whoever that is, just love him"

You are not going to change his sexual preferences no matter what you do, so accept him for who he is, show him the love you feel, and STOP worrying (I know moms heh)

Honestly I am more afraid of parent who think they can fabricate the kid they want.

99% of sexual preference is biological, you are NOT going to change that. Also his affectations do not necessitate his preferences. ie, just because he seems a bit feminine does not mean he is not attracted to females.

It may effect his ability to get intimate relationships (women tend to be attracted to masculine behavior), but he is YOUNG, he will figure that out as he goes.

I would not stress it, many times its a function of how shy he is, and any attention by his mom about his affectations is only going to make him MORE insecure.

EVERYTHING in a childs life, especially the younger years and pubescent years, affects and molds them (as opposed to 'fabricating)

what leads to insecurity is imbalance

when a parent OBSESSES over their childs weight, or over their traits and tendencies, without a balance of encouragement,, it leads to insecurity

if there is a balance between encouragement of what is positive and guidance from what is not,,, there is no reason to assume it will lead to insecurity as a result of honest and loving guidance,,,

There is no evidence to support this claim. Everything you posted is based on fallacious fact.

If sexual orientation is based on a combination of genetics and upbringing, then the home environment could play a role in sexuality.

But that's ignoring the OP issue! She's worried that her son's behavior (acting like a woman) is going to impact him socially. Surprisingly enough, gay men don't have to act like a woman, they can choose to act like a man. So her issue isn't sexual orientation (although she's not thrilled that he might be gay), but it is him fitting a social norm so that he avoids years of teasing and bullying.

behavior is certainly something that is to be adapted to the environment and something parents would do well to give children guidance on,,,I like what you say about that and I think that is her major concern too

just like I dont wish my son to be walking around with his pants hanging off, or using vulgarity,, there are other BEHAVIORS that are unbecoming and will isolate him from opportunities,,,,and some of the over the top 'feminine' things are included in that category

What's unbecoming though is in the eye of the beholder. What one person likes, the other may not and vice versa. I think we would do well to keep such views at the door when judging a person, and instead base their impressions on who they actually ARE, not what they appear to be. If someone shows love and kindness to people consistently, why should it matter so much what their sexuality is, how they dress or the words they choose to express themselves with?

We make things so much more complicated than they should be.

You are making it more simple than it is. You need to watch "The Watchmen", pay attention to what The Comedian says to Ozymandias.



A man exhibiting feminine behaviors is off-putting. Keep your social utopia crap to yourself, you are offended by Christians, Conservatives and basically anyone who doesn't agree with your world view. The OP and her son live in the real world, where those who are markedly different are bullied and mocked and teased relentlessly. She's a mother trying to protect her child. Until you have a child, what she is going through is beyond your comprehension. I suggest you wait to have children until you have put away your fantasies of how easily you could fix the world's problems and start dealing with reality.

Generally any survey has a random sample and a certain amount of false data.

Some sexual information about children comes from access to various groupes of records. State wards medical records and other special populations are sometimes used to glean special data.

Surpriseingly if kids think think their input is protected from their peers and or parents they can be surpriseingly candid.

And the difference between that and how religious act and get offended when someone doesn't agree with you is......? Oh that's right, there is none.

How about if I told you that acting like your way is the only right way, and everyone else is wrong, pushing your moral standards down people's throats even if they don't want it, and insisting they need to repent and be "saved" is off putting? How about if we got offended by people like you cause we don't agree with your view of the world? Suddenly the game changes doesn't it?

Take the log out of your own eye before you start looking at ours. You don't like a person being or acting gay? Don't do it. You don't like a person who drinks every now and again? Don't do it. Not that hard. We don't force you to do the things we want to do that you don't, but you sure as hell try and force us to be someone we don't want to be or can't.

You can be Christian if you want, it doesn't matter to me. But when you expect everyone else to be like you you're damn right I got a problem. Therein lies the difference between us, you want conformity, we want acceptance, there is a difference.

You are hilarious.

My point was that you claim that the world should be without judgments, but you judge people all the time. Like me for instance. You took the fact that I'm a Christian and used it to create all sorts of silly strawmen. I don't believe in forcing my morals on others. I'm pro-gay marriage, pro-legalization of all drugs, pro-prostitution and I have 9 Redbridge beers in my fridge right now.

Her son might be straight or he might be gay, either way, he'll find society more accepting if he fits in. That means moderating the feminine behaviors.

Thank you, such a nice input, we really need to set a good example, nurture our children and direct their path. Helping and showing them what is right is our responsibility. At the age of majority the child will demonstrate his own capacity and ability to manage his own affairs and by that time he can choose what is best for him. We all have the same objective to let our children feel how much we love and care for them.

I will continue my responses to the rest of contributors later. It was emotionally consuming but a well spirited discussion.


I can't thank all of you enough

Why should he have to change who he is cause a few people get offended? Such people need to learn to live and let live IMO. That seems lost on a lot of people anymore sadly.