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| Topic: I think my son is gay | |
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He seems wise from how he hangs out with ladies. It is possible that he won't grow up with a lot of hangups. But if he does he will have friends to help him with them. He is being a 15 year old and not ready to get married, settle down and have kids. I am impressed. Good job on parenting him.  Thank you for a very positive comment and complement |
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The best thing you can do for him is continue to love him as you always have. If he is gay, you're not going to be able to change that. Thank you, I always do. I am still hoping if there are still other ways for me to address and if possible avert his condition. avert his condition stop his 'gayness' huh there you go again... not even going to consider it, are you? status quo? everyone else says it can't be done so your on that bandwagon? i'm glad your a MD and a psycologist, so you can inform the rest of us of what can and can't be done... |
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I have sole custody of my children. My son is the youngest of three, he 15 years old now and grew up with me. He`s basically surrounded by me and my two other adult daughters. He is smart and in a french immersion program and a constant honor student. He`s sporting a typically longer hair, he walks very refine he joins dance troupes and he dances like a young lady. I enrolled him to Karate which he`s doing very well but during breaks he sits like a lady. I drove him twice to an activity and was surprised that he hangs out with young ladies, his age. I talked to him about it, he said he has plans about his life that he wants to have a family and children one day, but what I am seeing on his actions and ways were totally the opposite. I wish I am wrong. I love him to death but God knows I want to see him as any normal grown up man one day. I don`t know what to do. Please help! You said..... "I love him to death but God knows I want to see him as ANY normal grown up man one day." "I don't know what to do."... See him! Take "any" out of your thinking and replace it with "only"........gay or straight, both are normal... There is nothing to do except continue to love, nurture, guide, and support your son .....  Thanks, as I mentioned I always do, If any of the parents who were on the same boat as me. How did they approach it. Only thinking if there are ways to treat and or correct it. Treat and correct what??....Is you son getting into trouble? Is he failing in school? Fighting? Drinking? Using drugs? All you have said is he is smart, he is in a dance troupe, doing well in Karate, hangs out with young ladies his age, and thinks about his life and what he wants to do as an adult....He sounds like a great kid to me!!!! He is a good kid. He just came out of this feminine side few months ago and I am worried for him, to be in trouble because of this. |
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The best thing you can do for him is continue to love him as you always have. If he is gay, you're not going to be able to change that. Thank you, I always do. I am still hoping if there are still other ways for me to address and if possible avert his condition. I'm not sure that referring to possibly being gay as a "condition" is the best way to go. Do you know any gay people? If so, maybe talk to them. Let them explain to you how things have gone in their lives and maybe it will help you to understand a bit more? And if he's not gay, but just a bit feminine, there's probably not much you can do for that either. He is who he is. so true, thank you for your comments, I will read the post later again. |
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If he is gay it wasn't a choice to behave this way.It's who he is. No matter what anyone else says, do what you know is right by supporting who he is and loving him as your child, unconditionally. very true, thank you for you comments, sorry I lost track of the posting |
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The best thing you can do for him is continue to love him as you always have. If he is gay, you're not going to be able to change that. Thank you, I always do. I am still hoping if there are still other ways for me to address and if possible avert his condition. avert his condition stop his 'gayness' huh there you go again... not even going to consider it, are you? status quo? everyone else says it can't be done so your on that bandwagon? i'm glad your a MD and a psycologist, so you can inform the rest of us of what can and can't be done... Kind of the pot calling the kettle black....doncha think Moe since you are both doing the samething to each other from opposing sides....you two look like the mini wheats commercial fighting over which side is better the sweet or unsweet.....    
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He is a good kid. He just came out of this feminine side few months ago and I am worried for him, to be in trouble because of this. Let's pretend that it is a proven fact that sexual orientation is genetic, behaviors are not. Don't let the gay/straight issue cloud what you are concerned about. We all know that a straight boy who acts like a girl is going to be bullied and you as his mother are concerned. As I said, get him some good male role models (his father would be great) and get him a copy of "No More Mr Nice Guy". No single parent can do the job of both parents. "No More Mr Nice Guy" is a book about undoing the unintentional damage that single mothers do to their sons, which includes befriending mostly women and behaving as a woman would be expected to behave. |
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I have sole custody of my children. My son is the youngest of three, he 15 years old now and grew up with me. He`s basically surrounded by me and my two other adult daughters. He is smart and in a french immersion program and a constant honor student. He`s sporting a typically longer hair, he walks very refine he joins dance troupes and he dances like a young lady. I enrolled him to Karate which he`s doing very well but during breaks he sits like a lady. I drove him twice to an activity and was surprised that he hangs out with young ladies, his age. I talked to him about it, he said he has plans about his life that he wants to have a family and children one day, but what I am seeing on his actions and ways were totally the opposite. I wish I am wrong. I love him to death but God knows I want to see him as any normal grown up man one day. I don`t know what to do. Please help! Men need a male role model, without one, he is behaving as a woman. I suggest you encourage him to be friends with more boys and buy him a copy of "No More Mr Nice Guy". I raised my boys alone, they didn't and don't act like women. They are all strait and get dirty, play and watch sports and do 'guy' stuff. I agree boys need male role models and the book is also a good idea... if he is gay it isn't going to make a difference he will still be gay. The only difference is that my son was with three women, where we do so many feminine things at home; dye our hair, paint our nails, shave and so on. When we laugh we cover our mouth, when we sit we close our legs and many feminine touch. I see him doing the things we do, it is not that I want him to be dirty, I just wanted him to act like a man not like us that was so feminine, but I guess that`s only an addition to the point. Just like any common family, every one want a son to be a man not another woman. But if in the end that would be his situation, I have no problem dealing with it, but for now, it was very unwelcoming to act like that, the society and people we are in were so judgmental and conclusive, to add that my greatest fear lies on how his peers, schoolmates and people around him will treat and respect him. Being around females DOES NOT make a guy gay. Kids can be mean, hell, grownups can be mean. My son was called a 'fag' in school and he isn't gay. People can be jerks!! From the posts here, looks like your the only one judging him. Sorry, that's how it appears here. That`s fine, that was your opinion. Just drawing out the difference between our families, you got three sons and you - while it`s the opposite on my side, I got a son and three ladies around him. I don`t judge him, he is my son, who would do that to his son, it was what I have seen around every time I need to drive and pick him up to school. As I said in other comment, his friends stopped inviting and calling him for months now. I`ll just pray that may God guide and protect him and give me the same to guide and accept the things that I cannot change. By the way, no matter what you say, I value everyone`s input, it has been helpful. To get that out of my chest was really a great relief. Receiving responses from strangers is a gift. Whether be it positive or negative, you spent time on writing on this wall, with that I thank all of you so much! May God bless our families !
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The best thing you can do for him is continue to love him as you always have. If he is gay, you're not going to be able to change that. how do you know that? have you ever tried? How do you think being gay can be treated or corrected? Can you being straight be treated or corrected?  correct strait-ness... i thought the "gay is a disease' mentality went out in the 70's huh (scratching head) guess not well, neither one of you answered my question... HAVE YOU EVER TRIED?... but i guess just going with the status quo is good for you.. There's never been any reason for me to correct someone's "gayness." Why would there be? There's nothing wrong with them! Have you tried to correct someone's straightness? |
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He seems wise from how he hangs out with ladies. It is possible that he won't grow up with a lot of hangups. But if he does he will have friends to help him with them. He is being a 15 year old and not ready to get married, settle down and have kids. I am impressed. Good job on parenting him. Thank you for a very positive comment and complement You're welcome. I am impressed that you were strong enough to marry a lawyer. That must have taken a lot of courage. I mean some people have a fear of gay people. I have always been more afraid of lawyers. How did you overcome your fear of lawyers? |
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There's never been any reason for me to correct someone's "gayness." Why would there be? There's nothing wrong with them! Shorter life span, more likely to commit suicide, more likely to try drugs, more likely to have one night stands, more likely to contract venereal diseases, etc. But even if you are going to ignore all that, what about anti-gay bullying? What about starting a nuclear family with an adult of the opposite sex? Is that not a good thing? It seems that it should be, since our civilization is built on families. |
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I have sole custody of my children. My son is the youngest of three, he 15 years old now and grew up with me. He`s basically surrounded by me and my two other adult daughters. He is smart and in a french immersion program and a constant honor student. He`s sporting a typically longer hair, he walks very refine he joins dance troupes and he dances like a young lady. I enrolled him to Karate which he`s doing very well but during breaks he sits like a lady. I drove him twice to an activity and was surprised that he hangs out with young ladies, his age. I talked to him about it, he said he has plans about his life that he wants to have a family and children one day, but what I am seeing on his actions and ways were totally the opposite. I wish I am wrong. I love him to death but God knows I want to see him as any normal grown up man one day. I don`t know what to do. Please help! Men need a male role model, without one, he is behaving as a woman. I suggest you encourage him to be friends with more boys and buy him a copy of "No More Mr Nice Guy". I raised my boys alone, they didn't and don't act like women. They are all strait and get dirty, play and watch sports and do 'guy' stuff. I agree boys need male role models and the book is also a good idea... if he is gay it isn't going to make a difference he will still be gay. The only difference is that my son was with three women, where we do so many feminine things at home; dye our hair, paint our nails, shave and so on. When we laugh we cover our mouth, when we sit we close our legs and many feminine touch. I see him doing the things we do, it is not that I want him to be dirty, I just wanted him to act like a man not like us that was so feminine, but I guess that`s only an addition to the point. Just like any common family, every one want a son to be a man not another woman. But if in the end that would be his situation, I have no problem dealing with it, but for now, it was very unwelcoming to act like that, the society and people we are in were so judgmental and conclusive, to add that my greatest fear lies on how his peers, schoolmates and people around him will treat and respect him. Being around females DOES NOT make a guy gay. Kids can be mean, hell, grownups can be mean. My son was called a 'fag' in school and he isn't gay. People can be jerks!! From the posts here, looks like your the only one judging him. Sorry, that's how it appears here. That`s fine, that was your opinion. Just drawing out the difference between our families, you got three sons and you - while it`s the opposite on my side, I got a son and three ladies around him. My oldest son is 8 and 10 years older than his brothers... when he came along it was just him and a bunch of women. daughters, sons..matters not. a guy can't catch gay by being around females |
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Edited by
singmesweet
on
Tue 11/29/11 02:44 PM
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There's never been any reason for me to correct someone's "gayness." Why would there be? There's nothing wrong with them! Shorter life span, more likely to commit suicide, more likely to try drugs, more likely to have one night stands, more likely to contract venereal diseases, etc. But even if you are going to ignore all that, what about anti-gay bullying? What about starting a nuclear family with an adult of the opposite sex? Is that not a good thing? It seems that it should be, since our civilization is built on families. How are you going to go about correcting their "condition?" Pray away the gay? And why does their being gay need to be corrected? Why not deal directly with the bullying? If someone wants to start a family with someone of the opposite sex, awesome. If they want to start a family with someone of the same sex, awesome. I have no problem with either. |
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Being around females makes a guy gay? Oh, God please help me. Oh, pretty please God don't make me gay. I beg of you with sugar on top. Thank you, God. I was just checking in. Nah. Everything is okay really. Aw, you are so sweet.
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There's never been any reason for me to correct someone's "gayness." Why would there be? There's nothing wrong with them! Shorter life span, more likely to commit suicide, more likely to try drugs, more likely to have one night stands, more likely to contract venereal diseases, etc. But even if you are going to ignore all that, what about anti-gay bullying? What about starting a nuclear family with an adult of the opposite sex? Is that not a good thing? It seems that it should be, since our civilization is built on families. How are you going to go about correcting their "condition?" Pray away the gay? And why does their being gay need to be corrected? Why not deal directly with the bullying? If someone wants to start a family with someone of the opposite sex, awesome. If they want to start a family with someone of the same sex, awesome. I have no problem with either. You always make the same mistakes in your thinking.
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There's never been any reason for me to correct someone's "gayness." Why would there be? There's nothing wrong with them! Shorter life span, more likely to commit suicide, more likely to try drugs, more likely to have one night stands, more likely to contract venereal diseases, etc. But even if you are going to ignore all that, what about anti-gay bullying? What about starting a nuclear family with an adult of the opposite sex? Is that not a good thing? It seems that it should be, since our civilization is built on families. How are you going to go about correcting their "condition?" Pray away the gay? And why does their being gay need to be corrected? Why not deal directly with the bullying? If someone wants to start a family with someone of the opposite sex, awesome. If they want to start a family with someone of the same sex, awesome. I have no problem with either. You always make the same mistakes in your thinking. Why don't you answer the questions then, so there is no mistaking the way you're thinking? |
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My daughter used to tell me my son was gay because he thought it was fun to put on her makeup and shoes. He was four. I said he would grow out of it. When he was one, he would pick flowers and take them to the girls. he is twelve now and had two girlfriends. He said he had to dump one because it was too much to have two. He also got caught kissing one of them under the slide at recess. Does that mean he's straight? Gay? Lord only knows, but I do know this, I won't suggest he is either. He will find his own way in life and I will rejoice in how much I love my children. Each in there own special way.
I say this to you Spidrcmb.....the only reason a homosexual would be prone to committing suicide would be if the societal area they live in comdemns their life style choices, or famlial relations make them feel ashamed of who they are. They can always walk away from family and change their local for a happier life. It's a choice how and where we live our lives, but not who we are. |
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There's never been any reason for me to correct someone's "gayness." Why would there be? There's nothing wrong with them! Shorter life span, more likely to commit suicide, more likely to try drugs, more likely to have one night stands, more likely to contract venereal diseases, etc. But even if you are going to ignore all that, what about anti-gay bullying? What about starting a nuclear family with an adult of the opposite sex? Is that not a good thing? It seems that it should be, since our civilization is built on families. How are you going to go about correcting their "condition?" Pray away the gay? And why does their being gay need to be corrected? Why not deal directly with the bullying? If someone wants to start a family with someone of the opposite sex, awesome. If they want to start a family with someone of the same sex, awesome. I have no problem with either. You always make the same mistakes in your thinking. Why don't you answer the questions then, so there is no mistaking the way you're thinking? Thanks for the laughs. Let me give you a lesson in rational thinking: You should never read more into a statement than the author put there, you must take statements at face value. Re-read my previous post and try to find where I said that gays could be made straight. Look really hard, because you obviously think that I said it. When you find out that I never did, try to think back to how many times you have done this with my posts in the past. Example: I make a statement and you jump to conclusions that aren't supported by the statement. (Hint: You do it a lot!). |
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My daughter used to tell me my son was gay because he thought it was fun to put on her makeup and shoes. He was four. I said he would grow out of it. When he was one, he would pick flowers and take them to the girls. he is twelve now and had two girlfriends. He said he had to dump one because it was too much to have two. He also got caught kissing one of them under the slide at recess. Does that mean he's straight? Gay? Lord only knows, but I do know this, I won't suggest he is either. He will find his own way in life and I will rejoice in how much I love my children. Each in there own special way. I say this to you Spidrcmb.....the only reason a homosexual would be prone to committing suicide would be if the societal area they live in comdemns their life style choices, or famlial relations make them feel ashamed of who they are. They can always walk away from family and change their local for a happier life. It's a choice how and where we live our lives, but not who we are. I offer statistics and you offer your opinion, that is not an equal trade. How do you know that there isn't a genetic per-disposition in homosexuals to be depressed or to kill themselves? You automatically blame the society and the family. Well, I got news for you sister, it's your job to fit into society, not the other way around. If the society you are in doesn't accept gays or blacks or left-handed people, then it's the job of the left handed gay blacks to change the society or accept their alienation. |
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Edited by
w0m4n
on
Tue 11/29/11 04:30 PM
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"We all know that a straight boy who acts like a girl is going to be bullied and you as his mother are concerned."
That was what I am trying to point out, if he's too feminine, kids will start bullying him... just thinking about is was really grueling |
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