In order for the nuture to influence the nature or genetic disposition. He had to hav a genetic predisposition to the sexual orientation to begin with. Otherwise, if his genetic predisposition was for all intense purposes staright his surroundings would not be able to nuture his sexual orientation into homosexuality.

I dont believe in a 'genetic' predisposition to sexuality other than the human preservation code which drives us to mate which is heterosexual. I do believe there are prebirth conditions which may somehow cause that drive to be deficient, allowing environment to have more of an influence over it.

Environment and sexual orientation is research into possible environmental influences on the development of human sexual orientation. Some researchers distinguish environmental influences from hormonal influences[1] while others include biological influences such as prenatal hormones as part of environmental influences.[2]

Research has shown that it is a combination of genetic, hormonal, and environmental influences,.[3] Research has examined the possible genetic, hormonal, developmental, social, and cultural influences on sexual orientation, but no findings have emerged that permit scientists to conclude that sexual orientation is determined by any particular factor or factors.[4] Research suggests it is biological in nature, determined by a complex interplay of genetic factors and the early uterine environment. Many think that nature and nurture both play complex roles.[4]

I have a sister who is gay and to this day it still drives my mom crazy..it goes against everything her religion has taught her.
My mom still swears on her own life that my sister is not gay, just confused, that she just has some unresolved issues (don't we all)
and that she probably needs therapy.

My sister could give a rats *** what society thinks of her. Any pain she has suffered over her gayness, is the way my mother feels about it, the ever present energy of un-acceptance.

What hurts her is being told she is just confused, maybe you should go talk to a shrink, i'm sorry you have to go through this, you were a 'normal' little girl..what happened?

She doesn't want to be fixed, she's not broke. She's actually whole again because she is being true to herself. There is nothing more arrogant and condescending than being told by someone else who and what ya are. Everyone deserves the freedom to be who they are.

but you have a right to tell me how wrong i am? hypocrite..

Seakolony wrote...

By the way, I am not your sister.

Boy is my face red. All this time I thought you were my sister. Well, if you aren't my sister, it's time to turn on the ol' SpiderCMB charm...How you doin'?

Out of all I said, that's all you addressing? No debating anything? Just a come on?

Sorry about your child. I have son with Asperger's and Epilepsy.

If my years of experience with parenting kids is any indicaton you are probably going to have to have to work this out for yourself OP.

By fifteen a kid may have some idea of which gender they are attracted to primarily but it really has very little to do with how he is "Mothered" or as I think you are really raking yourself over the coals not "Fathered". Even in extream cases of sexual or chronic psychological violence it does not set, or reset, gender identification.

At fifteen they are still in the "experimenting" stage. With the current popularity of bisexuality, even promotion of it in some circles, kids do try stuff.

My guess is you have a 15 year old who is having fun yanking his siter's chain mimicing them rather than being "Gay", maybe even yours, trying to get you to pay for even more macho activities (Danceing/Karate is something he may or may not be outgrowing). Or letting him hang out with his Dad who as an attorney may have more financial resources and or less stringent rules just to get custody changed if only long enough to bust your chops.

If your son has spent years hanging out and learning as a younger child to deal with sisters he is probably quite good at "friending" females but not quite developed or old enough to compete for girl friends. Freshmen males are the bottom of the social pecking oder in Highschool. Depending how much older his sisters are it is not like he is going to be anything but dismissed by their friends and maybe harrassed by their boyfriend's so he may want to make them paranoid to come around. One thing that many ultra straight teens fear is even the suggestion of "gayness" so it is the perfect submissive aggressive behavior. Not necessarily a bad thing if "little" brother knows the sisters are dealing with players. Dangerous solution that should be clearly discouraged since it will hurt their sibling relationship but you kind of have to let them work that out for themselves without taking sides.

Depending on where he is in school it is likely that he has to deal with bullying if he is Gay or Straight so that is always a good topic to talk to him about coping with. Accuseing him of being gay and or telling to "butch up" to be safe is pretty moot at 15 and can definitely lead to a kid who will not talk to you if he is, or is not, gay because you have just abandoned the real situation he has to deal with every day. Espcially if he is well spoken or a dancer; especially a minority that values macho or thug toughness. Sad since being a dancer requires tremendous athleticism and has very little more to do with Gender orientation than say being a nurse, sailor, or any other number of chosen interst that are sometimes assigned gender orientations.

The reality is at 15 your son probably would rathe have his toenails ripped out than talk about sexuality with his Mom, or his Dad . My guess is he has been sexually active at some level or another and just been smart enough to keep you oblivious of it. An excellent reason to make sure he is seeing a pediatrician several times a year privately so he has plenty of opportunities for private information about the real risks of sex with either gender.

But I am going to remind you if your son has friends, teachers, activities, church, even media in his life he is getting lots of input as to what is manly behavior and he will define that for himself not you, or dad , sister's, or even his friends.

One way to sort through some of your own feelings and fears about if your child is possibly Gay is to contact the National Gay & Lesbian Bisexual Task Force and read some of their materials for Parents. Virginia Hilton wrote and excellent book for parents that addresses many of the issues of parenting a gay child includeing religion, sibling relationships, and marital or coparenting issues, and long term health and family issues such as grandparenting. I think it will help you sort out the myths form the balogne and when you have ti figured out it won't seem like that big a deal what ever he decides.

While I don't suggest demanding your child declare his orientation I do think it is critical to talk to your child about the hysteria that does still exist, this thread certainly shows how vehament people can get about this subject, and continuously make it clear that you will love them regardless of who they chose for relationships and you are ready to discuss any subject related to relationships if he wants to.

And has people have said this is such a non-issues when it comes to some of the really terrible problems you could be facing that I hope you keep it in perspective regardless how it works out.

Just for the people who don't know what they ar talking about. While the numbers are not good for any teen population straight teens are having a higher rate of unprotected sex statisticlly than Gay teens and they are less likely to seek treatment if they need it.

My son is autistic, I know how you feel. Every day I worry that he'll be teased at school. The best thing for your son would be for him to fit into society as a normal male, regardless of if he is straight or gay. It will be easier for him to get accepted in high school and beyond.

Your right its the peoples job to fit into society.

I do not happen to believe in conformity, or that we have to fit into the mold of the majority.

I really didn't see any studies on the prediposition of depression in homosexuals in your statements either. So, I have to believe that your statements are your beliefs and conjecture, as well.

If you wish me to do a research paper with notations on studies linking depression to homosexuals or lack there of, please let me know, but it better count towards my classes for my Human Services Degree in Family and Youth Counseling.

Yes, I do have a degree in Human Services. This means I studied Psychology, Sociology, Abnormal Psychology, Counseling Theories, Interviewing and Counseling Skills, Ethics, and Multi-cultural differences among many others. I worked as a Social Worker for four years and an Domestic violence advocate and completed two internships in the Psychology field. I am working on working in the Victim/Witness Advocacy field at this time.

I do not believe my opinions on the matter remain baseless.

Yes, I spoke with studied and befriended homosexuals learned of how they and their families learned to cope with who they were.

It's not really their job to learn to cope with the rest of us, but societies process of learning to cope with reality as it affects more and more people everyday.

Since, homosexuals seem to be forming their own sub-society within society and has been recognized as sexual orientation by the Federal Government.

Many states recognize the homosexual and making laws toward the benfits of the homosexual society daily.

By the way, I am not your sister. I, also, did not see one statistic inyour comment. Did I miss them? Only a statement that your statistics suggest what you say. Funny thing about statistics, they can be made to show whatever the scientific study wants them to show. I wouldn't trust statistics without knowing the variables used, the process in which they were taken, and what type of statistical study was taken.

I'm glad we agree.

Only because our society remains majority rules, not necessarily correct.



We don't have to, there is a certain elasticity to the social dynamic. There is a world of difference between how a quirky person is treated and how a "strange" person is treated. I would encourage anyone to moderate their behavior to remain this side of "strange", in order to avoid ostracizing themselves.



I posed a question, I did not make a statement.

You stated you brought statistics, and I brought opinions. That it wasn't fair. In actuality, what I brought was learned through text and writing assignments, not faulty statistics.



I don't and it wouldn't.



Okay.



An educated option is still an opinion.

An educated learned material not necessarily my opinion, but the opions of those studying the process of homosexuality development I.E. Child and Adolescent Development and Nuture VS. Nature.



And what did you learn?

I learned that not one thought that their sexuality was learned, but biologically based. I learned that they felt different fro others at an early age. I learned that they each expressed happiness in being who they are. I learned that none thought they were damaged goods in any way shape or form.



That not only contradicts what you posted earlier, but it's counter intuitive. Society is a collective of people who gravitate towards a norm in behavior, it is the responsibility of those who wish to be part of the society to shift their behavior towards the norm, not the responsibility of the society to shift it's norm to suit the individual.

Actually, it doesn't contradict, but show changes in numbers. That things are changing. The views towards homosexuality societally changing. The more talked about, the more dealt with in society, the less the stigmatism.


A member of a sub-culture of social outcasts is still an outcast.

But in their own societal atmosphere, the feeling of outcast remains lessened. Nor are homosexuals treated as much like outcast nowadays.



Absolutely disgusting. I am repulsed by pandering to any group. Laws and protections should apply equally to all people or they shouldn't exist. Any other arrangement is foul and tyrannical. The Government can only give special benefits to one segment of society by injuring another. It's disgusting and corrupt to it's core.

So ethnic, sex, gender, and sexual based laws to protct and allow fairness towards those in hiring remains disgusting. I saw you yourself were Jewish. If you were passed over for a loan, job, electricity being turned on in a timely manner, or asked to leave a restaurant just because you were Jewish, would you feel the same?



Awesome.

Actually, it doesn't contradict, but show changes in numbers. That things are changing. The views towards homosexuality societally changing. The more talked about, the more dealt with in society, the less the stigmatism.

So ethnic, sex, gender, and sexual based laws to protct and allow fairness towards those in hiring remains disgusting. I saw you yourself were Jewish. If you were passed over for a loan, job, electricity being turned on in a timely manner, or asked to leave a restaurant just because you were Jewish, would you feel the same?

I think this kind of thing has to come from inside the person. My experience has been not to try to 'correct' it but to stay consistent in my values and my reasons and continuing to love him but not define him by this lifestyle. HE knows he is loved, and he can respect the reasons I believe what I believe. I let him 'explore' the world and just hope the worst doesnt befall him.

THere is always a chance that something may turn his affections away from such a strict lifestyle, the same way something turned him from being more 'open' to exploring both genders, but that is something that has to come from inside him and I have to accept that it is unlikely in the current culture as the more we identify ourselves in a certain way and have it REINFORCED in our daily lives the more concrete that identity will become as life goes on.

the behavior is something that can be 'corrected' by addressing the issues you are concerned with from the stand point of a concerned mother

I have done so in my own situation too, had those talks with my son to tone it down and not 'act' so flagrantly. He is normally fairly laid back, but sometimes he really buys into that whole flagrant, feminine, dramatic thing that he thinks is fun. He understands though, that its just not the appropriate way to behave and will limit his possibilities in life. Of course he is college aged. BUt my point is that if the relationship there is strong enough, you can simply point out your concern and talk to him about it directly.