you would just change everything about you down to the depths and soul of your being?

How many of you get that other than me? It drives me insane. You guys know I dump everyone. That's why. It' always goes that way. It makes me more mental that usual.

TL

If you truly love and care about someone, you have to let them be who they are. Accept them for what makes them, well them. You have to accept their faults as well as their accomplishments and achievements. If you can't, your better off letting them go. You should never change who you are because someone wants you to.

Now if you know what they wanted or expected of you, and you wanted to make that change, make sure it's what you really want, not what you will do to keep them. Make sure it's what would be best for you. That is "IF" it's something that you're sure you want.

Oh, and I didn't know til now that you dump everyone. Sorry to hear that. They must really be losers.....

Notning personal.......But if a woman said this to me......

I would run for the hills.

I have spent a lifetime....working on....ME!
I know Who I am, What I am....and I am very happy with.....ME.
I made the changes in Me,over the years, that were needed based on the experiences of my life.

Change me now?????

I think NOT!!!!!

ANYONE who wants to change you, is not in love with you....

They are in love with the Idea of.....

Who They want you to be.

That ain't healthy for .....Anyone!!!
JMO

Some lady a couple of years ago on here,contacted me by minglemessage and told that she would not want to try to change me.She later in the message tells me to shave or she wouldn`t want to meet me.

BYE BYE see ya, don`t want to meet you.

If they want to change you then that means that they can't accept you as you are. If they can't accept you that means that they can't love you.

When a guy wants ANYone to change, he's not happy with himself. I've dated guys like this. One guy targeted my looks as a prime reason for my being single. Was pretty hurtful....

People can't change. I don't really believe in this. No amount of success or accomplishments in your life would make you want to change. If you were raised a certain way, this is probably the person you're going to be. Now, lifestyle change, this is more doable. Like losing weight, buying new materials, I don't know, changing the scenery the way you want it. Changing the inner part of you is nearly possible. But a man (woman too), changing? I don't know.....be hard to.

I haven't really changed all that much. And if somebody tries to make me, then they're out of my life.

Some concious and sub concious habits we men inherit from our Fathers, can and need to be changed. These are things we learn over time and tru experience. So Yes, changing the Inner ME...is possible. True for women also, they are just not as prone to carry these learned traits as long as we men will.
As I became a father....I began to see that some things were not necessary....just because my dad was that way.
I am a much different man today than I was when I was young. Not just on the outside.
Time influences us.......People SHOULD NOT!!!!!

I edited it...did you see it?

Yes.........

It always starts out with "I love everything about you." Always.

They don't pull the old switcheroo until 3 months into the relationship. It's as if they have to build on the original lie until they're convinced that I'm so enchanted by them that I'll now make any changes they request.

Of course, it doesn't work that way. And it never will.

At this point in my life, I go in with the assumption that anything she tells me for the first 3 months is probably just a set-up for the inevitable change agenda down the road. Sad but true. If I ever run into one who hasn't started trying to change me after, say, 6 months, I figure that one's a keeper.

Of course, I don't believe such a person exists....

I can see compromising a few things here and there, but if someone asked me to change everything about myself... then why are they even speaking t me, since apparently I am the exact opposite of what they seek. To me, love is adapting, not substituting.

That's the part I just don't understand. If you want THAT guy, why not go after HIM, rather than try to turn me INTO him?

It makes no sense.

Lex......

This IS WELL SAID!!!!!!!

Story of my life...

Everyone wants to change me. Family, friends, women... It doesn't matter. And everyone who is not family says "you're a great guy", then comes the "but".

Honestly, I am sick of people trying to change me. For them to do so requires the assumption that they know me better than I know myself. How can they know what goes on inside my head? Even when I try to relay and explain it, they consistently fail to grasp it. "It's all in your head..." Duh! Try listening for once instead of reciting cliches. Perhaps that's why my reply should be, "That's right. MY head, NOT yours." And then just walk away.

Most every one of us knows who we are and who we want to be. Remember when we couldn't wait to grow up? That was because we were chomping at the bit to do and be the person we saw within ourselves. Free from rules and restrictions. Free to be a movie star or to run into a blazing building or to drive at speeds much too fast. We daydreamed as kids not just because we wanted to be bigger or stronger, but because we wanted to be free from having others tell us what to do. This is why we rebel against someone who tries to change us: because they are trying to steal away our most basic childhood dream....the dream of being our own person.

people do change over time - lucky if you change in compatible modalities - I see nothing wrong discussing change with a partner but we each get to choose or discard ideas for change as we wish

my ex husband let me know everyday (virtually without exception) for almost 18 years that I was flawed and needed to change - In the 20 years we were together I never heard him say: I love you just the way you are....never have heard that

Lex.. who says she can't be a keeper? You can keeper in the closet!

I have one simple rule I won't change you if you don't change me. If you want me to change; then its obvious you never wanted me in the first place.

The way I see it If you Like/Love someone

There was a reason why you feel that way

Something that made you attracted to him/her

If you try to change that , It kinda takes the beauty away JMO