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Topic: Cheating
no photo
Mon 03/19/12 11:51 PM
Do you think people are capable of staying faithful?
Is one gender known to cheat more?
What makes us cheat?
would you forgive a cheater?
Any last words on the topic?

Shidoshi's photo
Tue 03/20/12 12:09 AM

Do you think people are capable of staying faithful?
Is one gender known to cheat more?
What makes us cheat?
would you forgive a cheater?
Any last words on the topic?

yes can be faithfull not by their own self righteousness but CHRIST!
Being Unfaithful is not sex specific humans were born in SIN except we pave way for God!
Old Adamic nature makes US sin the Greed and unusual evil curiousity
yes everyone is capable of been forgiven but you need to let GO when its too much to handle so they dont rub a bad habit on you!
Pray to God hold on to him in marriage or single state pray to overcome self and flesh all the time twil go a pretty long WAY!
And above all read that holy book its called The Bible!

no photo
Tue 03/20/12 12:29 AM
I could forgive a cheater, however I would not be with them.

msharmony's photo
Tue 03/20/12 12:35 AM

Do you think people are capable of staying faithful?
Is one gender known to cheat more?
What makes us cheat?
would you forgive a cheater?
Any last words on the topic?



I think people are capable of staying faithful.

I think males were 'known' to cheat more because our culture raises males to think of sex as a way to conquer a challenge or entertainment BUT since women have become more 'equal' to men they are being raised the same way so its hard to say which is worse

People cheat because they are too scared to be honest, scared of what they might loose

I have forgiven a cheater before, I wont forgive a SERIAL cheater, if its a habit and not a mistake, ,,Im not interested

My last word is in this day and age when so many males and females are perfectly willing to lay down with no ocmmitment and barely any knowledge of each other, I dont see why people still feel a desire to hook up with someone that wants a commitment if they still want to play the field


I think if it comes to that , AS soon as the urge is hitting to stray, an adult should be honest with their partner and give them the opportunity to work it out or move on,,,

SanneHan's photo
Tue 03/20/12 04:12 AM
Shouldn't you define what cheating is for you and your partner, first of all?

*Sighs* One of my biggest problems in a relationship...

Shidoshi's photo
Tue 03/20/12 11:40 AM

I dont think God, Christ or the bible is the only way to avoid cheating.

I have known atheists who have never been unfaithful.

I would forgive, but no longer be with them.

The rest, I have to agree with msh.

God Knows how hearts and every thoughts

no photo
Tue 03/20/12 11:56 AM


Do you think people are capable of staying faithful?
Is one gender known to cheat more?
What makes us cheat?
would you forgive a cheater?
Any last words on the topic?

yes can be faithfull not by their own self righteousness but CHRIST!
Being Unfaithful is not sex specific humans were born in SIN except we pave way for God!
Old Adamic nature makes US sin the Greed and unusual evil curiousity
yes everyone is capable of been forgiven but you need to let GO when its too much to handle so they dont rub a bad habit on you!
Pray to God hold on to him in marriage or single state pray to overcome self and flesh all the time twil go a pretty long WAY!
And above all read that holy book its called The Bible!


You're saying that people cannot be faithful unless they pray to god and read the bible? What about those of us who are not religious?

Ruth34611's photo
Tue 03/20/12 12:11 PM

Shouldn't you define what cheating is for you and your partner, first of all?

*Sighs* One of my biggest problems in a relationship...


Yes, because I know a lot of guys who think sexting is not cheating.

Goofball73's photo
Tue 03/20/12 12:17 PM
Are people capable of staying faithful? If it isn't possible for people to stay faithful, then we suck as a society.

Is one gender known to cheat more? I'm sure there have been studies done that say one does, but to logically say men are more capable of it than women (or vice versa)? That's silly.

What makes us cheat? Lust. Curiosity. The thrill of it all. You name it, it can cause it.

Would you forgive a cheater? I did....and then I told her she could never have me again.

Any last words on the topic? People want an easy solution to curing cheating. Well, there isn't one. Fact is, everyone is capable of doing it. You can call it a weak moment. You can call it whatever you want. But if you say that you don't have the capability to do it, then congrats. You are the perfect human being, and you are one of a kind. And yes, I am being a smartass cause a perfect human being doesn't exist.

People CAN cheat. Doesn't mean they will. But we can be tempted. You hear all the reasons why people do it. Attention, boredom, revenge, etc.....all the reasons exist. When you get with someone and are involved, you have to trust openly. You can't just go into a relationship expecting the other to cheat. How the hell would a relationship like that last? Simple...it won't. Life is an adventure. You just have to be willing to go for the ride.

no photo
Tue 03/20/12 12:24 PM
Edited by 42BlackBBW on Tue 03/20/12 12:26 PM

Do you think people are capable of staying faithful?
Is one gender known to cheat more?
What makes us cheat?
would you forgive a cheater?
Any last words on the topic?


I think people are capable of staying faithful.

No sure that cheating is gender specific. It's more a character trait IMO.

Have no idea about what makes people cheat. I don't even think it's about one person being unhappy with another or down to a lack of a person's innability to say 'no'. I really have no idea.

I don't think I could forgive a cheater if I were in a serious relationship with someone. I have forgiven someone that I haven't been that serious about because it didn't matter. He wasn't someone that I would be spending the rest of our lives with and we both knew it - It was a long time ago and we hadn't be seeing each other very long.

Personally, if I even thought about cheating while I was with someone then it would be time to end the relationship.


TxsGal3333's photo
Tue 03/20/12 12:49 PM

Do you think people are capable of staying faithful?
Is one gender known to cheat more?
What makes us cheat?
would you forgive a cheater?
Any last words on the topic?


Sure they are capable of it, just does not always happen..

In the past it was men more but now that women are more in the workforce I would tend to say that both are pretty close..

Who knows what makes one cheat. Some will say if they are not getting sex at home I call bs on that one... I tend to think it is more of one forgetting what they have at home. But... who knows??

It happens we deal with it and move on....whoa

SanneHan's photo
Tue 03/20/12 12:58 PM


Shouldn't you define what cheating is for you and your partner, first of all?

*Sighs* One of my biggest problems in a relationship...


Yes, because I know a lot of guys who think sexting is not cheating.


Actually, *I* have little to no problem with sex... I DO have a problem with other things, like cuddling, or holding hands, if that goes beyond certain limits... XD

no photo
Tue 03/20/12 01:07 PM


Shouldn't you define what cheating is for you and your partner, first of all?

*Sighs* One of my biggest problems in a relationship...


Yes, because I know a lot of guys who think sexting is not cheating.


I know guys that think kissing another woman, not their partner isn't cheating.

I once had to state to an ex what I considered cheating because he only regarded having penetrative sex as cheating.

SanneHan's photo
Tue 03/20/12 01:26 PM



Shouldn't you define what cheating is for you and your partner, first of all?

*Sighs* One of my biggest problems in a relationship...


Yes, because I know a lot of guys who think sexting is not cheating.


I know guys that think kissing another woman, not their partner isn't cheating.

I once had to state to an ex what I considered cheating because he only regarded having penetrative sex as cheating.


That's what I meant - cheating can mean VERY different things to different people...

no photo
Tue 03/20/12 01:40 PM




Shouldn't you define what cheating is for you and your partner, first of all?

*Sighs* One of my biggest problems in a relationship...


Yes, because I know a lot of guys who think sexting is not cheating.


I know guys that think kissing another woman, not their partner isn't cheating.

I once had to state to an ex what I considered cheating because he only regarded having penetrative sex as cheating.


That's what I meant - cheating can mean VERY different things to different people...


Ah, I didn't get that from your post first time round but understand it now. Having considered it, you are right.

I guess it just comes down to defining levels of intimacy...I regard kissing as being a very intimate act between myself and my partner whereas my ex didn't which is why he didn't (doesn't) regard kissing another woman as cheating.

SanneHan's photo
Tue 03/20/12 01:46 PM
I know I am queer... I wouldn't mind if he(she) "had had a good time", but one wrong kiss might make me scratch her eyes out :(

There are things I define as "MINE!", and they are better left for me alone... cuddling, snogging... Things that for me define "Love". Touch them and you're in for a hard time... OR (absolutely a NoGo) hide something from me... I'm not scared of things that my partner tells me, but if he/she doesn't...

no photo
Tue 03/20/12 01:59 PM
I considered anyone that I'm with as "MINE" which is why I can't accept 'cheating' in any shape or form.

I'm not possessive or jealous which is why I don't need someone wrapped around me 24/7 because I trust..but as soon as I have doubts, I'll discuss and possibly reconsider but if I continue to doubt, I walk...no drama.

SanneHan's photo
Tue 03/20/12 02:07 PM

I considered anyone that I'm with as "MINE" which is why I can't accept 'cheating' in any shape or form.

I'm not possessive or jealous which is why I don't need someone wrapped around me 24/7 because I trust..but as soon as I have doubts, I'll discuss and possibly reconsider but if I continue to doubt, I walk...no drama.


So, a theoretical getting together between you and me might have serious consequences, if we didn't speak about what each of us considers cheating, and each of us working on finding an agreeable position... THAT'S what I meant! ;)

mightymoe's photo
Tue 03/20/12 02:14 PM


Do you think people are capable of staying faithful?
Is one gender known to cheat more?
What makes us cheat?
would you forgive a cheater?
Any last words on the topic?

yes can be faithfull not by their own self righteousness but CHRIST!
Being Unfaithful is not sex specific humans were born in SIN except we pave way for God!
Old Adamic nature makes US sin the Greed and unusual evil curiousity
yes everyone is capable of been forgiven but you need to let GO when its too much to handle so they dont rub a bad habit on you!
Pray to God hold on to him in marriage or single state pray to overcome self and flesh all the time twil go a pretty long WAY!
And above all read that holy book its called The Bible!


sheesh, does everything have to be about god and the bible with you people?

no photo
Tue 03/20/12 02:29 PM
Edited by 42BlackBBW on Tue 03/20/12 02:30 PM


I considered anyone that I'm with as "MINE" which is why I can't accept 'cheating' in any shape or form.

I'm not possessive or jealous which is why I don't need someone wrapped around me 24/7 because I trust..but as soon as I have doubts, I'll discuss and possibly reconsider but if I continue to doubt, I walk...no drama.


So, a theoretical getting together between you and me might have serious consequences, if we didn't speak about what each of us considers cheating, and each of us working on finding an agreeable position... THAT'S what I meant! ;)


Yep absolutely re serious consequences if no discussion.

I'm all about clearly stating (early on) about what I require from a person I'm involved with so that there are no misunderstandings further down the line :smile:

I always remember what a Director of HR once said to me...no surprises..be clear about what you want from the outset.

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