I'm all for couples working through problems so they can stay together too. (If possible.)...My views aren't based on religious beliefs. I just hate to see so many people run into heartache and disappointments (over and over again) to the point that they lose faith and trust in "love" entirely. (And get bitter and burnt-out.)...It's sad when children get put in the middle of their parents' "grudges" and anger toward each other. (Or anger towards the opposite sex in general.) Don't you think?...Children need good role-models so they will be able to create happy and healthy and loving relationships (themselves) when they become adults.

I can definitely relate to this religion issue... having been raised quite strict in these matters, I chose not to cling so tightly to my beliefs after I divorced my first husband. The church does tend to look down on those who turn their backs on their vows... but, we have to live our own lives, and not concern ourselves with the expectations of those around us when it comes to private matters like these. Our country as a whole has changed it's In God We Trust culture so completely that we never hear anyone say, "let's pray about your problem, sister or brother so so"... it's more of "time to go for therapy" if we have social or personal issues we need help coping with... And I fear the next pendulum swing will be at a dead stop when it comes to religious values, as time goes on and generations seek man made remedies for their trials and tribulations, God and His ways will be played out only by those who still see the ceremony as holding sentimental purpose for them... IMHO...

Yes, it is the children who are most adversely affected when the adults in their lives feelings turn from love to hate to revenge in so many cases... and they repeat the behavior they are taught by their parents... the vicious cycle rarely ends, but is continued generation after generation.. until dysfunction is the basic foundation of most social behaviors in the general public...

I think love can "die-off" through the years due to layers and layers of unresolved issues. (Issues that never got "addressed" in healthy and mature ways.)...Pretty soon there isn't much left except "grudges" and resentment and a desire to be "free" from all of the pain and heartache and fighting etc...We want to be around people who see a little "good" in us and not just "bad." So we leave the relationship...But I think we can run in "deja-vu" in our next relationship if we don't really understand what "went wrong" in our previous relationships. Don't you?...To me it's all about trying to find ways to resolve issues in healthy and constructive and mature ways before they go "underground" and turn into "grudges." (And a desire for revenge and "pay-backs" etc.)

casual relationships are more encouraged and promoted

stigma has been removed from things like casual sex and divorce

love has become more about the physical than the emotional relationship and more people focus on the sexual and physical aspect than the emotional


women have become as bad as men, who were unfortunately given a pass for being selfish and having one track minds revolving around their money or their private parts,,,,,


'roles' have been stigmatized and introduced more chaos and competition and less order and cooperation in relationships,,

You hit the nail on the head, Green Eyes… and yes, the first time I see a new partner acting like the last one, I’m in the wind so fast all you can see behind me is my tire treads… Also, if their was a lack of communication in the last relationship that caused mixed messages, grudges, the break up… if I see the next guy doesn’t know how to communicate, either by listening or telling me what is what from his view point, there’s nothing of any substance to hold on too and try saving…. I’ve been there and done that so many times that I can read the signs, especially when they read… “No intelligent life occupies this space”…

You're saying since I'm old fashioned I'll never have love again?!!

It is to easy to get distracted from what a couples relationship was built on. Children, money, status, work, etc.; cause a slowly widening rift. Little things become automatic. Like the first kiss, every morn, becomes a peck; a lingering caress on the back/butt, becomes a pat or a brush. We take things for granted & forget to WORK at keeping the romance. Then pride & stubborness makes give & take, into I'm right/you're wrong.

LOVE takes WORK, EVERYDAY with EVERY BREATH.

Think about it; HOW you would feel, if one day you parted & suddenly you could NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN.

LIVE a RELATIONSHIP like EVERYDAY is YOUR LAST. Don't learn the hard way & live thinking of all the words you would like to take back & time you realize you both wasted.

OPINION

You explain the rise and fall so simply, and even when we know what we're doing, we don't stop it from happening. Ultimately both partners are equally delinquent and don’t realize what they’ve thrown away until they moved on to greener pastures that need landscaping to keep them attractive too. Life is a dysfunctional circle and we just keep going round and round and round until we all fall down… with those who scramble back to their feet the quickest as the examples the rest will follow. IMHO

*giving you a big hug*
Amen brother...you old time gentlemen need to teach the younger crowd about taking pleasure in the sheer simplicity of these gestures that you describe.

Mayhap this generation is also desensitized by all of the drama on tv? They want the fireworks and drama every single day it seems.

There has to be about a dozen reasons off the top of anyones head to why they don't last. But in all honesty, why on earth would you waste a moment of your life trying to fix your husband or wife who has been unfaithful to you?
People evolve. Sometimes...you just don't want to go where they are evolving to. I believe in happiness.
If leaving someone creates my happiness then..so be it.

at present people take relationshps as a deal,and evryone looks for more profit.

People evolve and we don't want to go with them... simple, and yet excellent reasoning...

I expect my wife to evolve...and to save room for me as I evolve.

So if your deal doesn't garner you enough profit, you divorce and strike up a new deal with the next shopper who's willing to sign a contract with you? Just asking...

Also, there are many men who just are not good providers. A woman can't afford to support a lazy man who won't do his part, women still don't make as much as men.

lol, no Im saying its harder to find because fewer people understand what it is beyond the fleeting feelings,,,,

amen... hi jeanniebean... that's one of the reasons why my marriage lasted 18 years, my ex always took care of his financial responsibilities... which makes the bad times not so unforgivable...

I can read the signs too!