I have been dating someone (we will call him M)for 3 months now. I care about him a lot and we are very compatible. We are dating each other exclusively. Now here is my problem. I have been friends with D for over a year and it has always been platonic, just good friends. Well now D has come forward and said he wants a chance at a relationship with me. Honestly I always hoped we would end up dating because we fit so perfectly( D and I) but then I met M and I like him. I am struggling with what to do. ou know the grass is greener on the other side syndrome? Any advice greatly appreciated.

Why not date both and see which one u like better?

Who is in your heart more? I have had that happen, I should have went for D but didnt and then everything was all screwed up.

Do what makes you happy. I don't think you can play flip the coine. This is up to you. You have to go with what you feel comfortable with,what makes you happy. Yeah, eithere way you have to pick one and stick with that choice. Anyway, best of luck

I would agree with Mikey. That torned feeling doesn't feel very good, either.

Date them both...
Just make sure D is'nt doing this cause he is jelouse of M...
You are single- so you can pretty much date whom you choose.
Just make sure both parties know you are dating more than just them... Goodluck...

Good advice, TeddyBear. Once a commitment is made it can change things. One would want to be sure how one really felt before the commitment stage.

I was best friends with a guy for 5 years once. He asked me out on a "real" date, and I complied. We became an item shortly after for about 2 years. It was a disaster. Not only did i lose the relationship, but I lost my best friend.


~*IndyB*~

my daughter just went through this very thing. The guy she was really attracted to came back after she met another awesome young man and wanted her to come up to his place which he had never sone before. We talked about it and she went to his turf Monday night and spent the night and was to go back on Tuesday night and later Tuesday she called and said she was not going back there. She had made up her mind. It really changed things once she was in his area. Everything was a dream while he was here....then reality set in. She is now with the other guy and they are getting along great for now.

Best of luck, look within your heart....you know what is best for you, no one else does.

If I may used this scenario! If your going to make a salad, you don't just use one ingredent. You try different things! To make a great salad. And so it is with your problem. Try both! Either way your going to be a better salad (I mean person).. Just be careful not to over due your salad, to many ingredents will ruin the salad...Your Private Chef

It would be a hard decesion to make but only you can in the end but....... don't blow one off to run off with the other without finding out first or you will forever wonder what if?

I agree with Mikey, you sill never know how you feel about D, unless you go out with him. He might be a great friend, and horrible lover...as they say. But, you will never know unless you try. I hope it all works out for you.

D NOW wanting a relationship MEANS U haven't started having sex yet. Right?! And 'M' you're DATING for 3 months means that you have started having sex. SEX IS A SERIOUS THING. It is the thing that STICKS 2 people together. SO U ARE ALREADY STUCK TOGETHER WITH 'M.'
Stay with M.

D has to now wait in line. What kept him SO long? One year? He is probably one of those who believe that one has to stay by oneself to heal from a former relationship or, he had preferred another that you did not know about.

Now from your actions, which you MUST emit, he suspects that he has lost you to another.

Well he is RIGHT! ANOTHER has STARTED having sex with you, and you must not go having sex with 2 men.

What will M think of you when he finds out, which he is SURE to. Also what will D think of you? Then M would consider you 'NOT WIFE MATERIAL' and you might descend on D to wait for another year for him to decide, for you to move in with each other or get married.

This former female aquaintance calls me on the phone: "Grieving!! (real name called) You know how LONG, I trying 2 get in touch with you?? At last!! My very rich husband is dead and I want to send for you quick. What sizes do you wear?"

This is a woman I was trying to be husband to about 20 years B4. We ONLY kissed; and ONLY once. Whenever I give her money she will say: "That doesn't mean to say I will be with you eh." I will say: "OK." And hope.
So I tell her: "Ok. How do you look now; send a whole view photo of when you're looking your best; like dressed for a wedding or some special occasion; with all your make-up." She had a gold tooth. I sent her SOME pics of myself.

She NEVER sent it but she singing love song for me over the phone, trying to SEDUCE ME while I walk in the dark.

So I observed for a while and then I stopped talking to her. When I was in a satisfied relationship, Seven years after, she used an ambassador to get to me with the SAME proposition.
I tell her,the Ambassador: "Tell the woman it's TOO late now."

I do agree with most of the other posters here. The truth is that ONLY you can decide. Take time and be honest with yourself and them. Choose one or none.

Good Luck. I can only imagine how difficult this must be for you. I suspect that part of the dilemma is that you do not wish to hurt anyone, but no matter what you will do, someone will be hurt. Just allow them the dignity that comes with honesty.

I do not recommend dating both due to it would be unfair to them & make things more confusing.

Good Luck. My heart goes out to you and them for this difficult decision.

Take Care
Alexia

Well 2 choices but you must 1st ask yourself this question !!

Do I know or think there is a remote chance I will like M more than D ?

Then based on that ask yourself is D worth losing ?

Answer those and post reply and I'll tell you what I think.

here is the thick of it

m has been in a platonic relationship with h

h now wants yo move further into a romantic relationship


and m decides to check out h as a romantic partner

--------------

would you be ok with that

What is the understanding between you and the guy you are currently dating? If you are in a committed relationship and it is both agreed upon to be so, then there is no way you can start dating your "friend". I always believe in being up front and honest with a person. Talk to the guy you are seeing and let him know that you want to date others, if he doesn't agree then you will have to decide as to whether or not it would be worth it to start dating your close friend. Many people find themselves in this position but always say they don't wish to jeopardise the friendship, very often that is the end result.

hhhmmmmmmm

come back come back

i would say do bo...i mean date both for a little while!!! heck i wish i decisions to make on who to date!!!!

Be honest, and be honourable. D has waited in the wings, or whatever, for a year or so, which has given you both the opportunity to develop a friendship, a strong and real friendship, which is the perfect foundation for a romantic relationship, however, you have agreed to date M exclusively.

D can either respect your wishes, or move on. If you didn't have a 'backup plan' in D would you consider your dating relationship with M to be anything other than perfect as it is?