I recently came out of a 3 year relationship with a woman, this would be my 3rd LTR. I have noticed right at about 6 months into the relationship, it takes on a whole new dynamic, I suppose it is normal after a period of time for the relationship to advance to the next level.

At about this stage into relationship the woman has started to become more involved with decision making I call this the mothering stage or women may call it the nurturing stage, I believe at this point is where a woman starts the I can change him period, this is when a woman starts to attempt to change the more negative aspects of her male partner, for example taste in clothing, eating or nutritional habits, here is my favorite, hygiene no matter how clean you may think you are you are never clean enough for the woman, oh lets not forget the ever popular putting the toilet seat back down.

The point I am attempting to make with this post is that when a woman takes on a role of mothering, men just sort of start expecting it, I think as most men just kind of go along with whatever the woman wants, so ladies when you start doing things for us don't get all peeved if we start expecting it, after all it is the woman that sets the tone in the relationship, guys just sort of follow along.

My ex from my longest relationship always tried to do everything for me which I had to start getting use to since I have always been very independent, so after a time I had assumed that I was just pleasing her by letting her do these things. to my total shock she had been harboring years of resentment against me for this it's not like I never offered to help more, but I was always met with from her it would be easier if I just do it myself.

Ladies if you start treating men like your children then this is how most relationships play out, this is why the very most important aspect in any relationship is COMMUNICATION, if you don't want to be our mothers, don't mother us it's that simple.

sounds like a personal problem to me....lol

why not just be yourself and stop reacting to others?

Only making a truthful observation, I noticed this same trait in other peoples relationships and this is so typical of many woman not wanting to own their actions, not saying it's the woman's fault men play their role in it as well.

Hummm only time I notice women doing these type of things is when the men seem to act as a kid. And they have to take over doing things for them..

As far as the toliet seat thing come on when you get something that has a lid on it do you take the lid off and leave it off???

Myself I have never been one that got them for the toliet lid being left up. Now get out of the shower and not pull the shower curtain back and you will hear from me....lol

Wow, they don't start doing that to you until you've been with them for six months? Are you one of those guys that goes in for the "dating relationships" that I've been hearing about then where you are actually only friends?

I know a few women like this and personally think they are unhappy, but don't know why. I saw my mother try to control her environment this way, believing that if the towels are folded just so and his shirts are ironed just so, she can create the symbolism of happiness she craves. Unfortunately, in the cases I know of, HIS lack of enthusiasm for how she wants things done means she must do everything herself which only makes her more unhappy..which proves he doesn't really love her.

Or it could be she has a touch of OCD?

Or it could be you are messier than you realize and you wore her thin?

If you do your research you will find women suffer from OCD at about twice the number of men granted I may have a strange attraction to this type of woman or maybe I just attract them.

This happens at 6 months into your relationships? At that point, what do you stop doing? Sounds like something is making these women act this way.

Actually my ex was the messy one

Maybe I become to settled in the relationship without realizing.

I think relationships work best when there is a spirit of appreciation instead of expectation

if someone started to do things for me, I would appreciate it while it lasted and try to reciprocate,, I would never just start EXPECTING It,,,,


but everyone is different, and that is another reason COMMUNICATION is important, it helps to ask genuinely how we can help those we claim to love, and it helps to genuinely appreciate the help we receive,,,,and express as much

noone likes being taken for granted,,,,

Msharmony you are both beautiful and wise

I do like to take my time in relationships don't like to rush things, I usually try to hold off the more physical aspects until we know one another better I believe most all relationships start with the infatuation period, and having relations to soon may cloud judgement, as far as being best friends with my partner I do believe one has to be both friend and lover, when the infatuation starts to wear out you better have something to talk about.

*reads the OP*
Oh for cryin’ out loud…

Have you ever read “The Five Love Languages”? Some people’s “love language” is Acts of Service. If a woman who has that as her love language does things for the man in her life, it doesn’t mean that she’s trying to “mother” him, nor does it mean he should take that as a signal to stop doing things for himself and just let her do it all for him.

In fact, he should take it as a sign that this is how she expresses love and realize that if he returns the favor by doing things for her, she will interpret that as an expression of love from him.

If she has specific ways she likes things done, then take the trouble to find out what those are and do them that way. Likely, she is going to the trouble to try doing things for you in the way she senses you like them… and if you’re really special, you’ve actually communicated to her what you like.

If you just sit back and let her do everything, eventually she will become resentful because it will feel to her like you've become a child and also like she is being taken for granted. No woman wants that from a man.

But.....I'm a guy

So?

What I find is most that are in a realtionship do tend to do for each other... To me it becomes a problem when they expect it all the time and give nothing in return...

I don't mind doing things for another when I'm with someone. What I don't understand is just because you do it they tend to expect you to do it all and never return the favors... To me a realtionship is a 100% both ways that some tend to forget.

People tend to help out those they care about out of the kindness of their heart. But when others take a advantage of that kindness is when it becomes a problem...

I know I have never had and issue when someone I was with took the time to do something for me it just made me want to help them out as well..

What difference does that make when it comes down to a relationship?????

Never said I never do anything, just seems women take it on their selves to control relationships as I stated in my previous post I have always been independent by nature, it so happens I am a very good cook, I am also a very neat and orderly person by the responses I have received from female forum members it only goes to prove my point that women have this need to be in control.