Topic: Older or younger?
jacktrades's photo
Tue 02/18/14 09:36 AM

Since I got divorced I have been meeting either guys on their 20's or on their 50's as a general rule. I have met a few that are on their 30's as well but not that many. I have always wondered when young is too young and old is too old.




I think it more about the person and what your looking for. I'm 51 and the youngest for me would be middle forty's. I don't really put a limit on older because I prefer a woman to be where I'm at in life. I find Women my age or older very desirable because of their knowledge of life, their ability to deal with real life problems,and how beautiful they are.

PacificStar48's photo
Tue 02/18/14 09:49 AM

Since I got divorced I have been meeting either guys on their 20's or on their 50's as a general rule. I have met a few that are on their 30's as well but not that many. I have always wondered when young is too young and old is too old.


My experience is when someone starts trying to push something on you that really doesn't feel comfortable.

They will try to sell it too hard; like they really know they have nothing to offer. They often will use flattery upfront, in sales jargon called the first soft close, because of course that gets at least a minor amount of agreement.

Then they use platitudes like age is just a number, and how it is your choice to to date whoever you want, or depriving yourself self of happiness you deserve. Stacking on the reasons like blankets to smother you with.

If that tactic doesn't work then they cross with you would be unfeminine to not to respond, judgemental, or cruel, or missing your one shot at happiness if you don't pick them. Nothing about what they offer to be picked. Nothing about what they would actually bring to the relationship. They are after all the illusive prize carrot.

Often followed with implications your feelings are outdated, or just a little crazy, or not that desirable. After all you are here and they are going to be your saving grace. It takes a superior even insulting tone. If you resist they will pretend to retreat but at the last minute like a cat with a cornered mouse they they take a swipe to remind you who is in the power position.

They enjoy making you feel stupid, to old or too young, not quite good enough, and sometimes just flat out miserable.

Sometimes once they get the hook in your mouth they will give it little yanks to see if you jump. Ignoring you, probably because they have several others on the line, but often because they enjoy the chase a whole lot more than they do the catch.

Often if you actually learn anything about them, which they really reveal little compared to flooding you with questions about ever desire, feeling, or wish you find they have been wronged by the very type you are and it is retaliation. It is a game of manipulation and they are master's and you just yet another toy to be disguarded.

So if it starts out smelling like you are being sold a dead fish wrapped in lavender smile sweetly and move on to what is way more likely to last and make you happy.

no photo
Tue 02/18/14 10:02 AM


Since I got divorced I have been meeting either guys on their 20's or on their 50's as a general rule. I have met a few that are on their 30's as well but not that many. I have always wondered when young is too young and old is too old.




I think it more about the person and what your looking for. I'm 51 and the youngest for me would be middle forty's. I don't really put a limit on older because I prefer a woman to be where I'm at in life. I find Women my age or older very desirable because of their knowledge of life, their ability to deal with real life problems,and how beautiful they are.


I'm framing this^^bigsmile ...Thank you for being you ((((Jack))))flowers smitten :heart: flowerforyou

hellsboy's photo
Tue 02/18/14 10:22 AM



Since I got divorced I have been meeting either guys on their 20's or on their 50's as a general rule. I have met a few that are on their 30's as well but not that many. I have always wondered when young is too young and old is too old.




I think it more about the person and what your looking for. I'm 51 and the youngest for me would be middle forty's. I don't really put a limit on older because I prefer a woman to be where I'm at in life. I find Women my age or older very desirable because of their knowledge of life, their ability to deal with real life problems,and how beautiful they are.


I'm framing this^^bigsmile ...Thank you for being you ((((Jack))))flowers smitten :heart: flowerforyou


What about me then leigh???

no photo
Tue 02/18/14 10:30 AM




Since I got divorced I have been meeting either guys on their 20's or on their 50's as a general rule. I have met a few that are on their 30's as well but not that many. I have always wondered when young is too young and old is too old.




I think it more about the person and what your looking for. I'm 51 and the youngest for me would be middle forty's. I don't really put a limit on older because I prefer a woman to be where I'm at in life. I find Women my age or older very desirable because of their knowledge of life, their ability to deal with real life problems,and how beautiful they are.


I'm framing this^^bigsmile ...Thank you for being you ((((Jack))))flowers smitten :heart: flowerforyou


What about me then leigh???


You're too short....laugh

Duttoneer's photo
Tue 02/18/14 10:33 AM

Since I got divorced I have been meeting either guys on their 20's or on their 50's as a general rule. I have met a few that are on their 30's as well but not that many. I have always wondered when young is too young and old is too old.



In my opinion age difference does not matter providing you are both able to marry. From your post I see that you have dated guys from different age groups, so clearly age does not appear to be something that concerns you in a relationship. When I find the right one for me it will not be because they fall in to any particular age group. I don't believe there is a when is young too young and old is to old, providing you both can marry it is a personal choice, just my opinion.

BettyB's photo
Tue 02/18/14 10:36 AM


Since I got divorced I have been meeting either guys on their 20's or on their 50's as a general rule. I have met a few that are on their 30's as well but not that many. I have always wondered when young is too young and old is too old.



In my opinion age difference does not matter providing you are both able to marry. From your post I see that you have dated guys from different age groups, so clearly age does not appear to be something that concerns you in a relationship. When I find the right one for me it will not be because they fall in to any particular age group. I don't believe there is a when is young too young and old is to old, providing you both can marry it is a personal choice, just my opinion.

I agree with you totally.

hellsboy's photo
Tue 02/18/14 10:36 AM





Since I got divorced I have been meeting either guys on their 20's or on their 50's as a general rule. I have met a few that are on their 30's as well but not that many. I have always wondered when young is too young and old is too old.




I think it more about the person and what your looking for. I'm 51 and the youngest for me would be middle forty's. I don't really put a limit on older because I prefer a woman to be where I'm at in life. I find Women my age or older very desirable because of their knowledge of life, their ability to deal with real life problems,and how beautiful they are.


I'm framing this^^bigsmile ...Thank you for being you ((((Jack))))flowers smitten :heart: flowerforyou


What about me then leigh???


You're too short....laugh


:angry: frustrated

FearandLoathing's photo
Tue 02/18/14 10:41 AM
Whatever you are comfortable with, to hell with everyone else...They're not waking up in your shoes.

no photo
Tue 02/18/14 10:43 AM

Whatever you are comfortable with, to hell with everyone else...They're not waking up in your shoes.


Gimme my left shoe...:tongue: :laughing:

SparklingCrystal 💖💎's photo
Tue 02/18/14 10:45 AM
Edited by SparklingCrystal 💖💎 on Tue 02/18/14 10:48 AM
Some go for someone half their age or twice their age. I don't, too much of an age gap. Not interested in an old fart nor in a snot-face. laugh
For a relationship I'm willing to go some 7 years either way. Sure you want someone in the same phase of life, which means someone more than 10 yrs younger/older isn't that person. People can argue that all they like, I'm not going to con myself into believing myths.
For a hot date I have a different rule-book.

TawtStrat's photo
Tue 02/18/14 11:47 AM
Well, younger women can certainly be a lot of fun and the older ones are too picky for me.

PacificStar48's photo
Tue 02/18/14 12:04 PM
I so agree with the "life stage" comment.

There are many appropriate times to do things in your life. And while I have my preference I know people equally happy with totally opposite ones.

For some it is living it up in your teens and 20's forgoing children and and sometimes focusing on career. Then love and marriage or remarriage and children is a blessing in later life.

Other's want to enjoy having kids young, round up and move them out, for some spicy mature fun. Spoiling grandchildren and befriending their kids as adults.

While I don't know if misery loves company is always the best way to move forward in your life sometimes "re-blooming" together is a great way to discover a person and bond.

What may seem like punishment to others may be bliss to another.

I have long used my Dad's numerous painfully lonely years as a caregiver and widow as the realities of dating and older person. But I recently found one of my Dad's journals and where he was just over the moon happy about the years they did have even when he had to slow down some so she could keep up. So I am leaning more toward the idea that if like they both having lost children and feeling kinship for years made sense it is more about what you have in common that may not be ready to the eye of outsiders that counts.

What I caution against because I have seen it lead to great misery is when someone tries to force a square peg in a round hole because they panic and take the first offer that comes along and then spend a lifetime regretting it.Just having SOMEbody does not mean that body is going to make you happy.

no photo
Tue 02/18/14 12:07 PM

I so agree with the "life stage" comment.

There are many appropriate times to do things in your life. And while I have my preference I know people equally happy with totally opposite ones.

For some it is living it up in your teens and 20's forgoing children and and sometimes focusing on career. Then love and marriage or remarriage and children is a blessing in later life.

Other's want to enjoy having kids young, round up and move them out, for some spicy mature fun. Spoiling grandchildren and befriending their kids as adults.

While I don't know if misery loves company is always the best way to move forward in your life sometimes "re-blooming" together is a great way to discover a person and bond.

What may seem like punishment to others may be bliss to another.

I have long used my Dad's numerous painfully lonely years as a caregiver and widow as the realities of dating and older person. But I recently found one of my Dad's journals and where he was just over the moon happy about the years they did have even when he had to slow down some so she could keep up. So I am leaning more toward the idea that if like they both having lost children and feeling kinship for years made sense it is more about what you have in common that may not be ready to the eye of outsiders that counts.

What I caution against because I have seen it lead to great misery is when someone tries to force a square peg in a round hole because they panic and take the first offer that comes along and then spend a lifetime regretting it.Just having SOMEbody does not mean that body is going to make you happy.


Well said. :-)

Dodo_David's photo
Tue 02/18/14 12:21 PM
For me, I could handle a woman who is 15 years my junior or a woman who is 4 years my senior.

TawtStrat's photo
Tue 02/18/14 01:17 PM
I remember my ex girlfriend saying to me that we had nothing in common. I didn't really agree with that and she's still my best friend. I dated a girl half my age last year and we had plenty of things in common. She told me that she wanted to settle down and I felt like she was looking for the stability that she could get from being with someone that was more mature. It was nice how she actually listened to me and respected my opinions and all that I ever seem to get from older women when I've tried that is arguments. I'm not saying that they are all like that but the ones that I've been with couldn't seem to help acting like they were my mother and I've already got one of those. I can get on with middle aged and older women as friends but that's about it. I still act like I'm in my twenties and the only real difference is that I am not as mixed up as I was then and I feel more contented with who I am and I've got the confidence that I lacked in my youth. I did have a misspent youth, as they call it and I neither built a career or a family. It's like I can't even relate to women that have done that stuff. I'm literally a backdoor man. Actually had to sneak out of my ex girlfriend's house when her daughter came home and stuff like that. Felt like I was being like a bad influence on her when her daughter was around.

no photo
Tue 02/18/14 04:11 PM

Some go for someone half their age or twice their age. I don't, too much of an age gap. Not interested in an old fart nor in a snot-face. laugh
For a relationship I'm willing to go some 7 years either way. Sure you want someone in the same phase of life, which means someone more than 10 yrs younger/older isn't that person. People can argue that all they like, I'm not going to con myself into believing myths.
For a hot date I have a different rule-book.


How is the rule-book different for a hot date?

no photo
Tue 02/18/14 05:14 PM

Since I got divorced I have been meeting either guys on their 20's or on their 50's as a general rule. I have met a few that are on their 30's as well but not that many. I have always wondered when young is too young and old is too old.

im divorced too. age isnt important. i almost dated a 28yo from mexico that i met on here. i almost dated a 34 yo from colorado. ive been talking to a 20yo from england and a 45yo from north carolina. age is not important.

no photo
Tue 02/18/14 05:16 PM


Since I got divorced I have been meeting either guys on their 20's or on their 50's as a general rule. I have met a few that are on their 30's as well but not that many. I have always wondered when young is too young and old is too old.

im divorced too. age isnt important. i almost dated a 28yo from mexico that i met on here. i almost dated a 34 yo from colorado. ive been talking to a 20yo from england and a 45yo from north carolina. age is not important.


Now that is what I would call a "globetrotter"

SparklingCrystal 💖💎's photo
Tue 02/18/14 05:23 PM


Some go for someone half their age or twice their age. I don't, too much of an age gap. Not interested in an old fart nor in a snot-face. laugh
For a relationship I'm willing to go some 7 years either way. Sure you want someone in the same phase of life, which means someone more than 10 yrs younger/older isn't that person. People can argue that all they like, I'm not going to con myself into believing myths.
For a hot date I have a different rule-book.


How is the rule-book different for a hot date?

Then I don't mind younger and preferably not older, haha. Let's say 34 - 46-ish
Wouldn't want a relationship with a 34 yr old though.