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Topic: Having children..any regrets?
Chazster's photo
Wed 10/01/14 08:31 AM
So I currently stand at a crossroads. I am actually going to see a marriage counselor today(just me). Basically my wife wants kids and I don't. I am the rational not very emotional kind of person. My wife even accuses me of being cold sometimes which is probably true. She knows I don't realize I am coming across that way. Anyway, the main point is I was wondering if people have ever regretted their choice on children. Whether you decided to have them or not, did you later regret your choice and why.


TxsGal3333's photo
Wed 10/01/14 09:01 AM
Myself I have two kids. But I choose to have two and wanted them. I have never regretted having kids even with all the ups and downs. They are grown now and have kids of their own.....

My only advise is if you don't want kids then don't have them.... I have friends that never had kids and have never regretted it.

Having a child or choosing not to, too a couple that one wants them and the other does not can make or break a relationship. It is kind of like one of those your damn if you do and damn if you don't..

I would say wait a couple years then see how you feel.

sparkyae5's photo
Wed 10/01/14 09:04 AM

So I currently stand at a crossroads. I am actually going to see a marriage counselor today(just me). Basically my wife wants kids and I don't. I am the rational not very emotional kind of person. My wife even accuses me of being cold sometimes which is probably true. She knows I don't realize I am coming across that way. Anyway, the main point is I was wondering if people have ever regretted their choice on children. Whether you decided to have them or not, did you later regret your choice and why.




YOU ARE LIKE MOST OF US GUYS---NOT IN TOUCH WITH YOUR FEELINGS--WOMEN WHEN THEY FEEL

SOMETHING THEY FEEL IT ALL 0VER---US MEN PUT OUR FEELINGS IN DIFFERENT COMPARTMENTS---

LOOK THIS IS A DEAL BREAKER SHE HAS A TICKING BIOLOGICAL CLOCK---AS A PARENT MY SELF I LOVE

MY KIDS THERE WILL ALWAYS BE GOOD AND NOT SO GOOD TIMES WITH KIDS---THE MOST IMPORTANT

PART OF HAVING ISSUES IN A RELATIONSHIP IS ARE THE TWO OF YOU SENSITIVE TO EACH OTHERS

FEELINGS AND WILLING TO FIND A SOLUTION YOU BOTH CAN BE HAPPY ABOUT ???? THERE COMES A

TIME IN MOST RELATIONSHIPS WHEN EACH WANTS THE OTHER TO THINK AND BE LIKE THE OTHER---

YOUR NOT AND NEVER WILL BE THE SAME---THE POINT OF A RELATIONSHIP IS TO BRING TOGETHER

THE MISSING PARTS SO BOTH CAN GROW AND HEAL THERE LIFES WOUNDS AND STILL KEEP OUR

OTHERNESS---THERE IS ANOTHER CHOICE YOU COULD BE A LONELY OLD MAN---

no photo
Wed 10/01/14 09:15 AM

Myself I have two kids. But I choose to have two and wanted them. I have never regretted having kids even with all the ups and downs. They are grown now and have kids of their own.....

My only advise is if you don't want kids then don't have them.... I have friends that never had kids and have never regretted it.

Having a child or choosing not to, too a couple that one wants them and the other does not can make or break a relationship. It is kind of like one of those your damn if you do and damn if you don't..

I would say wait a couple years then see how you feel.


:thumbsup: Good advice!...I have one child...She was not planned...AND... I was not ready to be a mother...Since I do not deal well with "what if's", I decided to get ready:smile: ...It was, by far, the best decision I ever made!...Good luck to you and your wife!flowerforyou

panchovanilla's photo
Wed 10/01/14 10:49 AM
My brother and his wife were told by doctors, that she could never have children.
They accepted it and went on with life.
When she was 39, and he was 41, she became pregnant.
They were both shocked, scared, in disbelief.
They had a healthy baby boy, who is 14 now.
He has been an amazing blessing in their lives,
And in mine.happy happy happy happy happy

mysticalview21's photo
Wed 10/01/14 11:02 AM
Edited by mysticalview21 on Wed 10/01/14 11:15 AM
op I went through a phase when I was younger ... and thought I did not want any children ... then I went the opposite ...wished I would have had more when I was younger... before I had so many female issues did not think I could have them but was given a gift later in my yrs ... meaning I had 1 child ... and would have to say she is worth every miserable ...painly secant... I ever had in my life ... and wanted to wish you well op... hard decision sometimes and sometimes you can't know the answer till after ... but you did get married and found a wife so there must be some warm love in you somewhere ...:smile:

Chazster's photo
Wed 10/01/14 12:55 PM
As an update, my therapist wants me to be tested for Aspergers/high functioning autism.....

This outcome could very well affect my decision. I guess I should add I have difficulty forming bonds.

no photo
Wed 10/01/14 01:06 PM
My daughter said to me "I want to be a DINK"

I said "What??"

"Double Income No Kids..." she replied.

"Oh" I said "I wish I thought of that!"

"MOM!!" she exclaimed.

Wouldn't trade her for the world! happy



msharmony's photo
Wed 10/01/14 05:24 PM
no regret having them, I do sometimes regret who I had my daughter WITH though,,,, poor choice for a father,,,,

and all children, to me, deserve their mother and fathers love and foundation,,,,

Chazster's photo
Wed 10/01/14 06:56 PM

no regret having them, I do sometimes regret who I had my daughter WITH though,,,, poor choice for a father,,,,

and all children, to me, deserve their mother and fathers love and foundation,,,,


I agree and myself had a troubled childhood. I am not sure if I am able to give a child that. I am pretty sure that I would regret them. It is a reason I am against it.

no1phD's photo
Wed 10/01/14 06:57 PM
every freaking day..lmao..
seriously just kidding..lol..
I love my boys to pieces..flowerforyou

no photo
Thu 10/02/14 02:51 AM
we had our 1st one when I was 18...2nd when I was 20. Both boys.. all boy.. always in some sort of mischief. from age 2 thru 18. Constantly pushing the envelope and getting into trouble.

Both are now men.. and good ones

For me being a father was one of the scariest, stressful and expensive things I have ever done.

But Also the most rewarding thing I have even done.. by far.

Wouldn't change it for the world

bbcheesecake's photo
Thu 10/02/14 04:37 AM
My daughter is the highlight of my day...no regrets whatsoever.

no photo
Thu 10/23/14 03:16 PM
I am a single dad to 2 beautiful girls none of them planned but wouldn't be without them for the world, they want for nothing and I hope I give them all the all the love they need
The days are tough as I have to try and juggle time with them, school runs dance lessons etc all around running my own business and working, a good support network is essential
Being a dad especially on your own is frightening at times but seeing them smile makes it all worthwhile, as for meeting someone special yet no joy, they either want it casual or can't cope with the fact my daughters will always come first in my life

no1phD's photo
Thu 10/23/14 03:26 PM
Edited by no1phD on Thu 10/23/14 03:24 PM
do I regret having kids....

... looks into his oldest son's room..
.omg... is that a hole in the wall...
what are those stains on the carpet....
.... and have you been using the back of your door as a dart board...


.... goes upstairs to his youngest son's room.... pushes hard against the door to open it.... why are all his toys piled up against the door.... and what on earth did you spill all over your keyboard.... and if you don't put your Xbox games back into the.. jacket they came in.. there going to get... oh nevermind too late!.they're already scratched up....


..... do I ever regret having children....

.... what's that Thomas... he's my youngest....ohhh.. I love you too son..

... now what was I saying..

. oh do I ever regret having children.... not for a second...love

.

Angeltripping17's photo
Thu 10/23/14 03:27 PM
Neverevereverever ....nonewhatsoever ...my three girls are the sun moon and stars in my life. Without them my life would have been so much darker.
If you truly feel you don't want..children..in your heart of hearts ...then don't. There are enough unwanted children in this world.
I wish you peace love & happiness

SparklingCrystal 💖💎's photo
Thu 10/23/14 03:45 PM
No, love my kids to bits! I'm so danged proud of them, the beautiful people they've become :heart: :heart: :heart:
My girl is far away from me, in Kansas, but our bond is stronger than ever! We Skype every week for hours on end.
And my son, sometimes don't see him for weeks, as he works real long and odd hours. But we're always close, always connected. Just thinking of my kids, makes me smile ..
Teenage years were he|| at times, but regrets.. no!

Gregakagreg's photo
Thu 10/23/14 04:32 PM
I have two kids. Both are grown now but they are still my kids. Looking back on it I would say it is one of the most rewarding things I have done in my life. But don't take the decision lightly. If you have doubts about your marriage it's best to wait. Kids won't fix the relationship. It's an 18 year commitment minimum. You can't send them back if it doesn't work out.

With regard to your counselors suggestion that you may have Aspergers Syndrome - Another possibility to consider could be depression. Low serotonin levels can cause depression. Ask your doctor about SSRIs.(Selective Serotonin Re-uptake Inhibitors) I know it sounds like a drug commercial but it could make a big difference in your life. Take care and be well.

DadCat's photo
Sat 02/21/15 08:38 PM

no regret having them, I do sometimes regret who I had my daughter WITH though,,,, poor choice for a father,,,,

and all children, to me, deserve their mother and fathers love and foundation,,,,


I would never change anything about how my life has been affected by having a child. The mother has serious problems which keeps her from enjoying a full relationship with our child. I cannot regret her. This statement still sounds like regret.

I am challenged by this belief. I believe that your attitude towards the other parent affects how you view them.

bhulce's photo
Thu 03/05/15 03:35 PM
I know that this topic is a little old but I wanted to reply anyway....

I have three grown children now. I am very proud of them all. I am still very close to them even though they live across the country.
For me, having children added so much to my life.
Having children made me whole.

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