Is like ...they do not give the relationship a time to develop, is it insecurity or what?

I've met women who do the same. It just depends on the person and their relationship history I suppose.

Well, I try to give them time to develop, but it sure don't take long before she is a whining about being stuck in a cage, and she is tired of the basement hole the cage is in...and whey can't she just be let out.....she won't tell no one.....I'm mean a guy can only put up with that for so long.

Er.... they are not serious enough??
Or.....they are still not serious enough??

End of the day, they are just not serious enough!


So don't waste your time on them.

Just off the top of my head:

Fear.

Lack of ability to be in relationships and just not realizing they are sabotaging it. Sometimes it's only sabotage from her perspective.

Lack of any real desire to be in a relationship but the only way to get short term gratification is to "try" for a relationship.

To try and get out of a relationship with a "bad" (or "good") woman while maintaining an image, get her to break up with him so it's not his fault. Being direct and honest is more than his ego can bear.

It's part of learned behavior to force behavior on her part to save the relationship, a method of communication in determining feedback and how she feels.


People come to conclusions before others sometimes.

Sometimes someone knows the ultimate outcome to a relationship while the other one just can't see it, or is unwilling to see it.

Sometimes the person who figures it out first takes the only way they see as the best possible solution to, in a sense, lead her to the same conclusion he has reached.

Sometimes his reasoning is faulty, sometimes it isn't.


There are all sorts of reasons.

Which end of this common question are you referring to?

Males and females alike react in one of two basic ways which could be described as "not giving the relationship time to develop." At one end, are those in a hurry to take everything to extremes, sexually or commitment-wise.

At the other end, are those who are in a rush to get away when they think things wont work out in the long run.

There are, of course, the ones who combine the two together. They want to rush into sex, and if that doesn't happen, they are convinced that it's pointless to try anything at all.

Any way, I know that one of the most common human behaviors in this area, is to deduce from past experience, that future experience will follow the same pattern. So if every time they've been patient and waited for the relationship to develop in the past, the other person has ended up rejecting them (or they discovered some fundamental incompatibility), they will tend to pull the plug on things more quickly going forward.

No not insecurity. They are just not that into you. Chances are you are picking the wrong type of guy, over & over & setting this yourself up.

If a man wants to be with a woman, he will move heaven & Earth to do it.
But women can not make that happen, or try to force it or change a man.

Change yourself.
Good luck to you.

In fairness to all men, we cannot just put the blame on them alone in sabotaging a relationship. As the saying goes, it takes two to tango. Both partners should be responsible for their actions toward each other. Any thing that is lacking on the part of a man or woman that would strengthen the relationship should not be taken for granted , deficiency of communication is one factor that leads to misunderstanding the needs of each party. Lack of openness in presenting or talking about the existing problem creates a gap between the couples thus it hinders the relationship to develop and grow more stronger. Communication and understanding the needs of each other are the keys for a relationship to flourish. The effort and willingness of two individuals matter to make the relationship survive. If only one is working out, definitely it would lead to failure.

If the woman has done everything to save the relationship and still no progress, then it is really the man who is not willing for the relationship to develop. the reasons could be because he doesn't have feelings for you anymore, he couldn't live with the existing incompatibilities between you, he has found a new love and he just got tired of you, period. There's nothing you can do about it anymore, instead accept the reality and move on.

I was going to say the same thing, it just isn't a man thing, my ex destroyed what was a perfect marriage in the beginning. Of course, she destroyed her first marriage as well, from what I'm hearing now. Shame, someone should warn the guy she is with now, but let him learn the hard way like I did.

It boils down to how people handle wanting out of a relationship differently. Some won't leave until they have found someone else to be with, others don't want to be the ones to call it quits, so they make your life miserable so that you do it (my first wife). And others can man up and say this relationship isn't going the direction I thought and let's end it sooner than later (me). I didn't have another person to lean on for support, like she did. I just knew it was time to move on.

Most of the time I see someone try to "shotgun" into a relationship it is because they have a history of being dumped.

Usually because they are immature, lazy, selfish, can't manage money, or career, are in financial crisis, have a distorted idea of what a real relationship is about, and they know they have a limited time before the new partner will figure them out. Many come from highly dysfunctional chaotic backgrounds, have drug, alcohol, or sex addiction/disfunction histories or current barely hidden.

Some are mentally ill usually manic depressive or sometimes spousal abuse histories they want to get you moved in, married, or dependent because you have up ended your support system one way or another running off with them in a romantic romp and can't leave.

If they can they will get or keep their partner pregnant, unemployable, and isolated until they are so fed up they will run away, any way they can manage; even if it is with another "mate" and they are the "victim" who was cheated on.

They will tell you if their siblings or adult children are not their life or arms length it is because they are the dysfunctional ones but often they are normal and assisting in one way or another. Usually they are helping and ex-partner or raising their younger siblings.

These types rarely have friends or happy family relationships, often have one or more dysfunctional parents, semi dependent children with problems and sometimes pretend to be the family care giver but really it is and excuse to take advantage.

Usually these types owe the IRS or back child support, or have been bankrupted at least once. If they have a car it may have expired tags or insurance.

If they belong to a religious group they are often trying to be quasi leaders but if you look closely they are often dipping into the collection plate one way or another.

Sometimes they will have pets that they are obsessive about one way but neglectful another.

I'm interested how do they sabotage it?? stops brushing his teeth? is he sabotaging it so u end it?

that's A really good picture typical men now do a woman what should men look for?

that's A really good picture typical men now do a woman what should men look for?

My ex.

She knew the right questions to ask right off, car, career, house, all of which I had. Then the hot sex, day after day, night after night, so I was hooked. Then the dividers appeared. She fought with my family, made them feel unwelcomed, telling me its their fault, but I now realize she was the one that started the sh.t with them. Then she chased away every female friend I had since high school. Again, I didn't know the signs, but she had terrible relationship with her family. Her mom was a drug addict and so is her son. I didn't even meet her mom until after we were already married.

Then she started withholding sex, when I wouldn't transfer assets into her name. I said, my kids come first, and that she would be taken care of if something happened to me first. But that backfired on her, because withholding sex from me, isn't going to make me do something I don't want too in the first place. Of course, she promised she would take care of my adult children if something happened, but I wised up by that point. So if she wasn't going to take care of my needs, I wasn't going to take care of hers. First, pay for your son's insurance and car. Why was it my responsibility to pay his bills so he could sit around and smoke pot everyday. Then the insurance for her cars, then their health insurance, etc. So didn't take her long to realize the well was dry with me, so off to her next victim.

so why didn't you call me before u married my ex. :)

I should have called her first husband for the scoop, would have save me time and money and I could be in a long-term loving relationship now. Instead of divorced and hanging around dating sites.

I never new the term Narcissistic before, but hearing that now from a few divorced friends on how their spouses behavior falls into this category.

Well if you read it closely I think I kept it unisex; least I tried. Granted men can not be physically pregnant but at least decent ones will try to stick around if the spouse is pregnant or sporting a newborn if for no other reason than social pressure and not knowing parentage or sympathy for the child. A very good excuse for permanent birth control once you have the children you can support. And for men to change laws that snag them into supporting children that are not theirs.

Since I give most men enough intelligence not to be swayed by easy sex I did not think that had to be pointed out but if you are foolish enough to be blinded by constant kitty cat well then you kind of deserve the misery that goes along with it.

I'm sure its no secrete that if a woman wants to manipulate a man into providing for her, then giving him great and frequent sex is a tool in her arsenal. Especially, if she knows the guys last relationship turned sexless or such.

Boy, some girls are *******..

See.....back in the caveman days, boy cave dudes could simply hit a woman on the butt with a club and utter, "Ugh!" Then point to the cave and continue to grunt "Ugh". And what would she do? She would go to the cave, sweep the dirt up, go cook a rack of T-Rex leg over a fire and make sure the youngin's were not dying of leech poison. But then, centuries later, dating sites started and men had to learn to communicate. It's been a disaster ever since.

men deserve it??? some women need to be fully documented. then men need laws to put them on a marriage offender list. same some men