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| Topic: keeping them at arms length | |
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And now a special shout out to Frankie.. hey sexy nice to see your back..    First reaction,WTH have I said to draw a response like that,and then I realised there is another Frankie (that's what my daughter calls me,sometimes)  Thanks for the comment
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Lol... well you can think it was said to you as well if you want..
 sexy..lol... yes it is very easy to think some post are about your own self.. our are meant for you.... it can be a bit confusing.... if you're not sure just say.. Was that meant for me   .. oh and welcome to M2..
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Lol... well you can think it was said to you as well if you want.. sexy..lol... yes it is very easy to think some post are about your own self.. our are meant for you.... it can be a bit confusing.... if you're not sure just say.. Was that meant for me .. oh and welcome to M2.. I was so disappointed,here was me thinking someone thought I was sexy,giving me flowers,a knowing wink. You made my day and then I find its a case of mistaken identity.Worse still she is an Everton fan. |
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I can't tell if this is just a joke thread or if it's possible for an adult to really not understand.
I know what I'm about to lay down here may seem weird. Not weird at all. You are basically saying you wish for what you want, when you want it, without any consequences (like risk, commitment, judgment, or change). That's what everyone wants. Everyone would like the world to work the way they want it to, centered primarily on their pleasure and fulfilling their selfish desires, without any negative consequences, and gets frustrated when it doesn't. But usually people turn 3 and slowly start learning how and why that isn't realistic and pointless to pursue. why is it so hard to keep things casual Might as well ask why you can't only eat ice cream while maintaining health, weight, and a long life. |
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ciretom
why is it so hard to keep things casual Might as well ask why you can't only eat ice cream while maintaining health, weight, and a long life. The reason you can't only eat ice cream while maintaining health, weight, and a long life is very simple easily quantifiable,scientifically verifiable and logically contradictory. The reason it is hard to keep things casual is because you are dealing with two human beings with emotions,desires,hopes and dreams that are constantly changing.Try quantifying and verifying that lot and your computer will start to fry. |
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I know what I'm about to lay down here may seem weird..lol.. Especially when most people are trying to find someone.. either to get remarried to or settle down with.. or have them in their life full time..... but for myself.. I don't want any of the above... what I would like is someone to go for dinner with from time to time.. catch a movie... enjoy a nice stroll in the park.. Ditto I have no time either to bother with clingy;..now, the monkey sex thing ?? sometime I gotta start.. Yeah .. but using "Clingy" in reference to a normal healthy relationship says something about the one using it ... Not having a go at you, Rusty, just an observation. A normal healthy relationship isn't clingy, no one wants clingy. So if someone perceives it as clingy ... what does that tell you about that person? Usually such people fear commitment for whatever reason. Some fear abandonment, some fear commitment. I cannot see 'clingy' being part of a normal healthy relationship - exact opposite. See Urban Dictionary reference. I am/would be far from clingy.. I like my space |
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i am interested in you
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First of all I think your being a stand up guy for being honest in what you are looking for. You are very busy and work hard and long hours are also involved.Looking for a little no strings attached, dinner and movie thing is great and I understand that fully but in the back of your mind are you not worried about ending up alone or maybe the one that wants to be with you and you can't offer anything more and send her packing is going to be the one who could be your mate for life.You won't always have your youthful looks and time changes everyone physical attributes.I am sure there are a lot of ladies who would make adjustments in their life to be with a handsome, successful , man like yourself. Either way I hope you find what you are seeking to make you happy.
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Finally someone who gets it..
and thank you so much for your very kind words sir .. And no I do not worry about ending up alone... although if I continue to lose my hair at this rate I probably will end up alone..lol.. trust me I'm not going to look good bald  .. but I suppose if the right woman was to come along.. I would definitely make some adjustments.. or least let her know.. that if she can can hang in ..there... just until things quiet down a bit... I would definitely be interested in more of a full time serious thing.. ... but the universe has a funny way about it sometime.. the right girl would come along.. for me.. perfect looks the right amount of intellect.. Caring funny romantic .. a great sense of playfulness.. I would think to myself.. now this woman I could settle down with.. then she would say to me I'm just looking for casual sorry..  .. curse you universe
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Edited by
chronicliar75
on
Sat 10/10/15 12:58 AM
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I know what I'm about to lay down here may seem weird..lol.. Especially when most people are trying to find someone.. either to get remarried to or settle down with.. or have them in their life full time..... but for myself.. I don't want any of the above... what I would like is someone to go for dinner with from time to time.. catch a movie... enjoy a nice stroll in the park.. And of course have crazy monkey sex with.... what I don't want is clingy needy.. have to text you every morning afternoon and evening.. Spend the whole weekend with you including the evenings....((no)).lol.. Your prerogative. your choice. Im sure there are still plenty of women near you & in your state, who prefers this. what will make it messy & ugly if you fail to set proper expectations to the woman u are dating with or lead her on to believe you want happy ever after. Someone full time.. sure some of them say I want what you want.. I say okay but I warn you do not fall in love with me..no! no!... they say no problem..lol.. but sure enough a month later they start demanding to spend more time together... thay even try to clear out a drawer in the dresser drawer just for me...awww.. ... which I have to then say.. but but baby.. I thought we are just going to keep things casual..?. And they say yes but I just want more of you full time... so I'm just wondering... why is it so hard to keep things casual. .. for any length of time.. longer than let's say!! two weeks..lol.. ... You spent time with her. You even have monkey sex with her. And yet you want her not to feel a thing for you? Emotions, are even prevalent, while you are just reading posts of people halfway across the world, how much more, if you are in a tangled sheet both sweaty & satisfied? Oh cmon! - too cold & souless if I may be blunt. If I may say, set the proper expectations. do not ask her not to fall in love with u. Ask her instead not to - ask commitment from u. You are being realistic with your needs & your situation. Good. Be realistic too in accepting how a woman would react to your demands & conditions. Justsayin 
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I know what I'm about to lay down here may seem weird..lol.. Especially when most people are trying to find someone.. either to get remarried to or settle down with.. or have them in their life full time..... but for myself.. I don't want any of the above... what I would like is someone to go for dinner with from time to time.. catch a movie... enjoy a nice stroll in the park.. Ditto I have no time either to bother with clingy;..now, the monkey sex thing ?? sometime I gotta start.. Yeah .. but using "Clingy" in reference to a normal healthy relationship says something about the one using it ... Not having a go at you, Rusty, just an observation. A normal healthy relationship isn't clingy, no one wants clingy. So if someone perceives it as clingy ... what does that tell you about that person? Usually such people fear commitment for whatever reason. Some fear abandonment, some fear commitment. .. clingy is just clingy.... it plays a part in everyday normal healthy relationships as well.. the small child clings tightly to their teddy bear..see.. clingy..lol You shunning good ole Sigmund Freud now? That's okay, I never like him much myself  I'm more a Jung kind of person ...Anyway... you're talking about a child ... He also believes there's crocodiles underneath his bed and that Action Man is his future career and that daddy is the strongest man in the world. Well, apart from Action Man maybe ... |
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casual does work if it's even on both sides.
what you described seems pretty one-sided you want her place to be empty for romantic interludes she gives, you take. you want her to work around your schedule she gives, you take. she asks you to work with her schedule, she asks you to give, you refuse saying "clingy" these girls do exist, they are called escorts. they will work around your schedule, accompany you to a movie, and most likely have whatever kund of sex you want....but these women aren't cheap |
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Isaac
these girls do exist, they are called escorts. they will work around your schedule, accompany you to a movie, and most likely have whatever kund of sex you want....but these women aren't cheap These women aren't cheap,how about the women here ?. Wait until I get my calculator
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Edited by
isaac_dede
on
Sat 10/10/15 02:46 AM
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Isaac these girls do exist, they are called escorts. they will work around your schedule, accompany you to a movie, and most likely have whatever kund of sex you want....but these women aren't cheap These women aren't cheap,how about the women here ?. Wait until I get my calculator whatever that calculation comes out to doesn't matter, most of the women here would be worth it
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Isaac
these girls do exist, they are called escorts. they will work around your schedule, accompany you to a movie, and most likely have whatever kund of sex you want....but these women aren't cheap These women aren't cheap,how about the women here ?. Wait until I get my calculator Can we have a bid on the lady with the ... ... ? |
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I know what I'm about to lay down here may seem weird..lol.. Especially when most people are trying to find someone.. either to get remarried to or settle down with.. or have them in their life full time..... but for myself.. I don't want any of the above... what I would like is someone to go for dinner with from time to time.. catch a movie... enjoy a nice stroll in the park.. And of course have crazy monkey sex with.... what I don't want is clingy needy.. have to text you every morning afternoon and evening.. Spend the whole weekend with you including the evenings....((no)).lol.. But I find most women want.. Someone full time.. sure some of them say I want what you want.. I say okay but I warn you do not fall in love with me..no! no!... they say no problem..lol.. but sure enough a month later they start demanding to spend more time together... thay even try to clear out a drawer in the dresser drawer just for me...awww.. ... which I have to then say.. but but baby.. I thought we are just going to keep things casual..?. And they say yes but I just want more of you full time... so I'm just wondering... why is it so hard to keep things casual. .. for any length of time.. longer than let's say!! two weeks..lol.. ... I don't believe what you are looking for is so unusual. I had two close friends, both guys that had been married before and one of them twice before, and they each established relationships with women not that different from what you are looking for with a woman. My thoughts were that the women really believed they would eventually marry, and not through being led on, because both guys had often said it was never going to happen. In one case they did eventually cohabit and then marry after many years, the other never did, but he passed away aged 49 after only a few years in to the relationship. Both guys were probably not as limiting in time spent with their partners as yourself, and there were no schoolage children, but both were adamant on living separately from their partners with no pretence of marriage, and the arrangements/relationships lasted for years, and in both cases what turned out to be lifelong. (so bewarned  and good luck in your search).
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My thoughts were that the women really believed they would eventually marry, and not through being led on, because both guys had often said it was never going to happen. In one case they did eventually cohabit and then marry after many years, the other never did, but he passed away aged 49 after only a few years in to the relationship. Both guys were probably not as limiting in time spent with their partners as yourself, and there were no schoolage children, but both were adamant on living separately from their partners with no pretence of marriage, and the arrangements/relationships lasted for years, and in both cases what turned out to be lifelong. Interesting new perspective^^^ A guy who insists to a woman - " no do not fall in love with me" I just want to watch movies with you, spend a little bit of time with you, and have monkey sex with you. I do not like anything full time or anything permanent. Expectations were set properly. The woman - still believes they will eventually marry??? with the guy who just said he wants casual, relationship, say 2 weeks? With all due respect, something is very wrong to the equation. and I beg to disagree. Is it possible, what started as temporary or casual arrangement turned serious. somewhere along the way, your friends & their women actually fell in love with 1 another, enough to risk, living in together, and the other even get married. Because that woud mean, the guy does not mind the woman clearing out a drawer just for him. One even cohabits at a certain point right? The way I see it, and this is just my take I can be wrong - You agree with the Op that casual is a good arrangement. And sometimes out of it, there are cases it could lead to lifelong arrangement. Along the way your friends Sir, if i may say so, allowed the women to fall in love with them. Allow the women to clear out a drawer for them. One of your friend even gave his commitment by marrying the woman. It was no longer casual. It started as one but it ended both of them get emotionally involve, for them to stay that long in a relationship. Living together and then eventually marry right? It does not sound casual to me. |
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Edited by
Duttoneer
on
Sat 10/10/15 05:59 AM
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My thoughts were that the women really believed they would eventually marry, and not through being led on, because both guys had often said it was never going to happen. In one case they did eventually cohabit and then marry after many years, the other never did, but he passed away aged 49 after only a few years in to the relationship. Both guys were probably not as limiting in time spent with their partners as yourself, and there were no schoolage children, but both were adamant on living separately from their partners with no pretence of marriage, and the arrangements/relationships lasted for years, and in both cases what turned out to be lifelong. Interesting new perspective^^^ A guy who insists to a woman - " no do not fall in love with me" I just want to watch movies with you, spend a little bit of time with you, and have monkey sex with you. I do not like anything full time or anything permanent. Expectations were set properly. The woman - still believes they will eventually marry??? with the guy who just said he wants casual, relationship, say 2 weeks? With all due respect, something is very wrong to the equation. and I beg to disagree. Is it possible, what started as temporary or casual arrangement turned serious. somewhere along the way, your friends & their women actually fell in love with 1 another, enough to risk, living in together, and the other even get married. Because that woud mean, the guy does not mind the woman clearing out a drawer just for him. One even cohabits at a certain point right? The way I see it, and this is just my take I can be wrong - You agree with the Op that casual is a good arrangement. And sometimes out of it, there are cases it could lead to lifelong arrangement. Along the way your friends Sir, if i may say so, allowed the women to fall in love with them. Allow the women to clear out a drawer for them. One of your friend even gave his commitment by marrying the woman. It was no longer casual. It started as one but it ended both of them get emotionally involve, for them to stay that long in a relationship. Living together and then eventually marry right? It does not sound casual to me. I am not agreeing or otherwise with anyone regarding casual relationships, to each their own. All I am saying is that two close friends of mine had, at least initially, fairly long term arrangements/relationships, many years long, with women where marriage was not on offer and they made no secret about it, exactly the opposite. I believe in both cases the guys had feelings for the women, but they made it clear that marriage just was never going to happen, other than that I do not know what was said. Let's say they were certainly, 'keeping them at arms lengths' for years, by not living together so not quite "full time". One of them did eventually marry, so there must have ultimately been strong feelings for her, but sadly my other friend died suddenly at the age of 49 after only a few years in his relationship so we will never know whether he would have married as well. They both were monogamous in their relationships as far as I know. Both of these guys had previous failed marriages, they were not young men but in their late 40's, all of which probably had some influence on their decisions. Here in the UK, the law on who receives what in a separation, married or common law, applies to all couples that have lived together for at least 6 months, which is probably another factor to consider before cohabitation as well, particularly if you have already experienced a divorce/separation. |
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I know what I'm about to lay down here may seem weird..lol.. Especially when most people are trying to find someone.. either to get remarried to or settle down with.. or have them in their life full time..... but for myself.. I don't want any of the above... what I would like is someone to go for dinner with from time to time.. catch a movie... enjoy a nice stroll in the park.. And of course have crazy monkey sex with.... what I don't want is clingy needy.. have to text you every morning afternoon and evening.. Spend the whole weekend with you including the evenings....((no)).lol.. But I find most women want.. Someone full time.. sure some of them say I want what you want.. I say okay but I warn you do not fall in love with me..no! no!... they say no problem..lol.. but sure enough a month later they start demanding to spend more time together... thay even try to clear out a drawer in the dresser drawer just for me...awww.. ... which I have to then say.. but but baby.. I thought we are just going to keep things casual..?. And they say yes but I just want more of you full time... so I'm just wondering... why is it so hard to keep things casual. .. for any length of time.. longer than let's say!! two weeks..lol.. ...  Try dating women out of your league, maybe a few notches higher then I guarantee this won't happen.
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Ok.. I tried the slowing it down thing.. I'm usually not the one speeding things up ... I even say to them okay I understand you may want more full time.. so perhaps that's what you should be looking for.wink wink... Because I can't really do that! but I like what we have going on right now.. it's comfortable casual and nice... To which they usually say..ohh.. yes baby it is nice don't get me wrong I really enjoy everything we have going on..it's just that I really like you... and I would like us to start looking towards the future...... to which I say..but but.... baby I thought we were happy living in the moment.. I thought you liked the way things were.. you know I'm really busy and I give you as much time as I can possibly give you... and you know I care deeply for you.... its just I don't want to fold my life into someone elses right now ... . Now usually after this^^ happens..lol. It doesn't take long for things to start to fall apart... and for the life of me I can't figure out why..lmao.. just so hard to keep casual casual
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