For many single parents looking to go back into online dating – their minds can be riddled with doubt about how successful they could be. Would it work out in the long-run? Would the other person be OK with it? Would they be able to find the ideal partner through dating sites? It’s natural to have all these questions in your mind. Here’s a simple answer – find a fellow-single parent! Using dating sites as a single parent is certainly a unique experience that has its own set of implications. Luckily, we’re here to help you find your way through them! In this article, we break down 4 Pros and 4 Cons Of Using Dating Sites As A Single Parent:
Pros
Mature and Independent
If you are looking for a serious and stable partner, single parents are not to be overlooked! Single parents have already established themselves by carrying an entire family on their back. They are more responsible and serious than the average dater because they cannot afford to make any errors, especially while being responsible with kids. In dealing with life problems, they have the wisdom and experience to grapple with them successfully. So not only are they independent and mature, they are also likely to be quick thinkers and problem-solvers.
A Welcoming Home
If someone makes time specifically for you despite a busy schedule, they must really like you. The fact that a parent chooses to spend the precious time they have with you is a great sign that they reciprocate your attraction to them. There is also the added bonus of coming home to a delicious cooked meal and leading a more structured life. The time spent with a parent will revolve around their schedule with the kids, which can also give you the space you need to focus on yourself and your hobbies. When searching for an ideal partner on dating sites – you would be avoiding a clingy partner who would hold you back. If the kids take a liking to you, it can be a great source of joy and fulfilment to partake in the raising and nurturing of a young human.
No Mind Games
Single parents have already had the experience. They have experienced a relationship and seen why it failed. They have an idea about the flaws and foibles of the people around them. Keeping all this in mind, they know exactly what they want. There is likely to be less confusion and less mind games. Being straightforward and direct are necessary aspects to the relationship. The involvement of kids adds a dimension of seriousness to the direction the relationship takes. So discussions are more frank and carried out with an open mind. There is a smaller chance of the parent leading you on if they think it won’t work out, thus saving everyone’s time and sparing emotional energy.
Loyal And Patient
Single parents usually do not have the time to fool around. They have to prioritize their kids and keep their best interests at heart. There is no time window to cheat on the partner. Single parents also have to be the best role model possible for their kids as they have to compensate for the lack of a partner. Because of these factors, single parents are more forgiving of mistakes, patient with your flaws, and kinder in helping you deal with your problems.
Cons
Time Crunch
To say ‘parenting is time-consuming’ would be an understatement. Devoting all time, energy, and efforts into nurturing a growing human being will lead to less devotion towards one’s partner. Raising a child is exhausting work, even more if the parent is employed. In the hustle bustle of daily routine, it can become extremely challenging to juggle a child, a job, and a dating partner: all three demanding a lot of attention. But there is only so much attention and devotion one person can give. At the end of the day, there has to be a lot more compromise in order to make the relationship work.
The Ex-Husband/ Wife
One of the trickiest parts about dating as a single parent. Situations with an ex can potentially bring bouts of drama, especially because it involves kids. Every parent wants the best for their kids, so one may grapple with emotions such as possessiveness, jealousy, anger, distrust. The possibility that the other party will not be as amicable towards a new partner is something that should be present at all times. When kids are involved, the relationship becomes a personal issue for the ex-wife/ husband as they do not know the person that well. Therefore, one needs to set boundaries beforehand and try their best to get the introductions off on a cordial note.
Problems With Self-Esteem
Parenting is a thankless job. There are a lot of emotional investments one makes into their children, sacrificing their own needs and putting a child’s needs before their own. Without a partner present, this can take a huge toll on the self-esteem of the parent. Am I good enough? Am I doing enough? Self-doubt and diffidence can be expected when looking for a partner on dating sites. However, a lack of confidence can be poisonous to a budding relationship. It can either lead to the parent settling for less, or the partner getting tired of giving reassurances and leaving. Fortunately, some of these issues can be resolved through therapy, counselling, and effort. One need not feel less desirable just because they have kids.
May Not Want More Kids
The decision to have kids is one of the most important in one’s life. Dating a single parent means joining a pre-existing family unit. With this, one has to accept the possibility that the parent may not want any more children and respect it. The new partner may feel that they want children of their own, which can make the dating process difficult for both parties. In a situation like this, compromise can be extremely difficult.
