How Honest Should You Be on Your Dating Profile?


The point of using words and pictures to describe yourself on your dating profile is to get people to take a second look and end up contacting you, right? And who would contact a person who doesn’t look good or doesn’t present well?

Well, it turns out that people might want a little more honesty after all. According to Lee Hurley, writing for, a more honest profile can attract more contacts than one that makes you look absolutely perfect. People don’t trust apparent perfection because each of us understands that no one is really perfect. Perhaps sharing a few of your less-than-desirable qualities along with all the things that make you a great catch will lead to better quality in dates.

Let’s face it: we all have warts. Some of those are literal warts and some of those are figurative. Though we’d all like to imagine ourselves as the perfect specimen, the truth is a little more complicated than that. There are some amazing parts about each of us and then some less-than-amazing (even downright ugly) parts. To think that anyone you would meet is 100% perfect or 100% a monster is naïve and simplistic, and it’s also naïve to expect that the gorgeous person in that profile pic doesn’t also have some imperfections.

Most dating research suggests that it’s better to put only your best foot forward, as it were, and present potential dates with only the best aspects of ourselves. That way you could get a foot in the door, and you might really hit it off when you meet in person. Eventually, when each of your foibles and quirks start coming out, you’ll already like each other enough to overlook them. There is a limit to how many things it’s really honest to hide, however.

Some people get away with being ridiculously honest and pointing out all their shortcomings right up front in dating profiles. Along with listing your musical talent, for instance, you could confess that you live with your parents and can’t find a job. Or point out that you’re a bit of a ladies’ man, and can’t resist a willing girl in heels and a short skirt. Sometimes this approach, when put in with a lot of humor, can be refreshingly honest and can attract a lot of interest.

The best dating profile is probably in the middle of the two extremes. If you’re a normal guy- or gal-next-door looking for the same, a little truth about faults can be refreshing. Being honest doesn’t mean you have to confess all your stupidity or weakness (unless you’re an axe murderer, in which case, please give others the chance to make an informed choice about dating you), but a nod to your own quirks can go a long way to meeting others who can relate and who might end up being wonderful dates or relationships.

What do you think about honesty in a profile? How much honesty is too much and how much honesty is too little? Comment below. And don’t forget to build your own free dating profile on Mingle2 to start meeting other singles.

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