Love is beautiful, especially when it is a mutual feeling. Ironically, even though a lot of us can almost do anything to find love, it is hard to find. Sometimes you meet someone new and swear they are the one. You feel butterflies in your stomach, they are all you think about, and they tick off every box on your list. When you finally start dating them, you realise they are not the people you think they are, and you are back to being single again.
True, it is hard to find love, but most time, we are the ones preventing ourselves from finding love. Continue reading to see why you keep drooling on cute couple pictures on Instagram, but can’t find love yourself.
1. You don’t meet new people
There’s one sure way to find love; you meet him or her.
Because you do not go out, have not joined a dating site, don’t encourage new people who want to be friends with you. Or you do not socialise, and you don’t even reply to your messages on social media. How then do you hope to find love? You want to walk into your house one day, and see them dressed in a white robe waiting for you?
To find love, you have to meet them and to meet them, you have to be open to meeting new people. It doesn’t matter that you are an introvert or aren’t a social butterfly. You can sign up with a dating site, fill in your profile, and search for your type.
If you have no interest in signing up in a dating site, you can at least go out more, be more receptive of people who want to get close, have conversations, or whatever works for you. You don’t have to do anything that makes you uncomfortable. There’s a long list of how to meet new people. Find one and make an effort.
2. You are looking for perfection
It’s not wrong to want someone who is good looking, and ticks all the boxes on your list. Nobody wants to end up with an ugly duckling. However, you must understand that we all are only human. We all have flaws. Even the people whose pictures on dating sites are perfect have imperfections too. You must understand that and cut people some slack.
Some people want partners that are good looking, sexy, rich, responsible, smart, kind, and the list goes on. It’s not impossible to find that kind of person, but chances are slim. You have to be realistic. Looks are important, but personalities and behaviours are more important. The one for you may be around you the whole time, but you haven’t found them because you are looking for someone who is picture-perfect.
Even on dating sites, try to have conversations with new people, and decide whether they are your type on not. Do not focus on cute pictures and shiny profiles alone. Looks can be deceitful.
3. You are with the wrong person
You may have given love a chance so many times, but it may seem like you keep meeting the wrong people. It’s emotionally draining to pure your love and affection on someone when they aren’t on the same page and don’t feel the same way. Some heartbreaks can be avoided if you are sensitive and pay attention to red signs.
Before you totally commit, please pay attention to their behaviour towards you. What they do is more important than what they say. Do they do for you things you do for them, or are they just on the receiving end? Do you sense they are reluctant and are acting like they need some conviction to be with you? And, do they try to love you the way you want to be loved, or does your happiness not matter to them? These are some questions that’d help you know if you are wasting your time with the wrong person.
If you devote your time loving someone who is wrong for you, how will you find the right person for you? You deserve love, and you must discard people who aren’t good enough for you, in order to find it.
4. You aren’t your type’s type
Everyone wants to date someone great. We pay attention to looks, personalities, and a lot more. We want to date people who we’d proud to introduce to our friends and family. The average person has an idea of their ideal partner. Even on dating sites, we look for people who are a good catch. There’s nothing wrong with that.
However, will your ideal partner choose you? You spend days going through profiles on dating sites, and obsessing about the one, but forget to do the more important things; fix ourselves. Are you good enough? Do you have a great personality? Do you have a life? Are you responsible? If your life is a mess, not a lot of people will want to be with you.
You have to fix yourself, and try daily to be a better person so when you meet the one who ticks the boxes in your list, they’d want to be with you too.
5. You are desperate
Desperation can make you make the wrong move. Because you are desperate, you will give people who aren’t good enough a chance. Offline, or on dating sites, you’ll keep letting the wrong people into your life because you are desperate to find love. Your desperation will stop you from paying attention to who they are and sieving out the people who are with you for the wrong reasons.
Also, when you are desperate, people can tell that you are. They’d see it as an opportunity to feed on your desperation, play, and use you. Understand that there’s no rush. It doesn’t matter that all your mates have great partners.
Take your time and shower yourself with love. When your head is clear, and you aren’t desperate, you stand a better chance to find love. This is because you have a better ability to think straight and make the right decision for you when you are not desperate.