Relationships are all about love and commitment. When two people agree and commit to be with each other, a lot of responsibilities have to be carried out with utmost love and care. Love is not all about joys, it is also about ups and downs and staying strong when situations are not right. There are times when you have to accept pain and sorrow and grow past it. But is it always right to accept pain and sorrow? Is it always a part of your journey? Is it necessary? What is a toxic relationship?
Let’s start with a simple explanation. Any relationship which endangers your individuality is toxic. Anything that makes you feel low about yourself is toxic. A relationship that makes you question yourself and your directions is toxic. But the question still remains how do you know if you are in a toxic relationship?
Here are 8 signs that will help you identify if you are in a toxic relationship:
1. Avoiding each other seems like a relief
if you are looking for ways to avoid meeting each other or are looking for excuses to not spend time with your partner, this is the very first signal that you must not avoid. If each other’s company is something that you want to avoid, its time you start analyzing other aspects of your relationship then.
If you notice yourself forcing yourself to love something or do something that you don’t like but do it just to please your partner so that you do not up making them “upset” is a sign you must acknowledge. In a relationship, both partners’ views and opinions must be valued. If you have to suppress or sacrifice every time just because your opinions are not valued and understood, maybe it’s time to rethink.
3. Continuous criticism
If nothing you do is appreciated and everything you do is regarded to as an unorganized mess, you are definitely in a toxic relationship. If your partner prefers complaining over explaining, you are definitely not where you belong. Nobody is perfect. Everybody has flaws. If your flaws are criticized and you begin to look at your flaws as a curse, it’s time to think! The right person will help you embrace your flaws and will help you overcome them with grace.
4. Disrespect and comparison
there are times when you place your point of view in front of your partner and his might differ. If these differences are accepted, things are okay. But if you find yourself being disrespected and being regarded as a fool for a particular thought or a habit, it is time you really take a stand for yourself. A toxic relationship is like a place where you lose your respect as an individual and are always compared to others and many a times your partner too. If you often come across times when you feel that you and/or your achievements are not being valued or are being looked down upon because your partner has achieved more or has witnessed more, this is a clear sign you are in a toxic relationship.
5. You prefer white lies
If you find yourself preferring white lies over telling the truth because you find explaining too tedious and you feel it’s of no use, its time you understand that your relationship is weak, very weak! White lies is told when you know that the truth will be looked at in a very negative manner. Finding yourself in that situation is alarming enough.
6. Communication is now a problem
Communication was easy before and now you just have to struggle to get your message across. Before you used to talk for hours and now even minutes are hard and seem impossible. You find yourself living separate lives even though you are together and you do not feel the need to share your little things and stories anymore. All these are indicators of a toxic relationship. Communication is like the string that hold a relationship together. If you communication seems to fade and you feel like keeping things to yourself, things are definitely not right!
7. Constant fights and arguments
Clashes are common but if your relationship is less about talking and more about arguing, the toxicity is beyond what you are expecting. If fighting with each other has become a habit and you just always want alone time, your relationship is making your life toxic too!
8. Too many restrictions and dominance
Your individuality must be nurtured. Your choices must be valued. And, your freedom must be respected. Equality must always remain a priority and is any of the above are not happening, you must understand that things are not right. Your freedom and your will must be respected. Expressing one’s concern and forcing your wishes onto somebody are two very different things. If you can’t do anything that you like or are always worried about your partner getting upset if you ‘do not take permission’ for everything, it’s a clear indication that your entire being is restricted.
Dominance is another issue that people often term as possessiveness or overprotectiveness. However, that is not right. You must understand that there is a difference in being supported and being controlled. Having one’s support means that you can make your choices freely and you know somebody has got your back. But when you are controlled you are ruled by the fear of a negative reaction by your partner and you always do things which suit him/her!
Toxic relationships are not all that difficult to identify. If you are not happy, that is a sign enough! Your happiness when comes from your partner is beautiful. But when you just feel low and unhappy about nothing and everything, it might be that you are in a cage you cannot see!