Relationships often start off sugar-coated. It is all sweet and thrilling at the beginning. You meet someone attractive and fun, and everything just seems to be perfect. Loneliness loses its grip on you, as you now have someone to share your life with. You begin to feel really fortunate to have someone that finally understands you.
Suddenly, reality sets in.
Time, they say uncovers all secrets. You soon discover some unpleasant attitudes in your partner. And there is a seemingly steep glide from la-la land to love it or leave it. Doubts start to set in, and then you begin to wonder if you are really right for each other. And you begin to wonder if you should leave or stay in the relationship. This normally happens when the relationship begins to shift from short to long term.
It is sometimes a frustrating experience, because it feels as though the answer should be obvious but it isn’t. Not quite knowing what to do can be a bit of a drag. On one side of the coin, you get this sweet person, and on the other, not so pleasant. And you almost wish someone could decide for you. Here are a few checks to help you:
Can you be yourself around your partner?
If you are not comfortable enough to be yourself around your partner, after a couple of months together, then there is a lot of deliberation to be done. Are you cautious of what you say every time you are together? Do you act in a certain way so as not to get on their wrong side? If you be you around your significant other, you might end up being unhappy in the relationship.
However, there is a walk-around on this. Communication is key. You should talk to each other on this, and try to work it all out. But if it doesn’t seat well after you’ve tried that still. Then, it’s better you let go before you get all sunk up in a time-long commitment.
On the other hand, if you like who you are when you are with your partner, then you definitely got something special.
This is key to testing compatibility. Do you have mirrored opinions about politics, religion and family? It is not like you shouldn’t have disagreements once in a while. But it is important that you have something in common with your partner. A shared interest, or whatever it may be. If that isn’t the case, you might end up arguing a lot.
It is important to note, however, that you shouldn’t end a relationship just because you had a big fight. These things happen all the time, to everyone. You can’t always agree on everything. You will definitely argue once in a while. After the fights come the understanding. If you leave a relationship because of a fight, you just might miss out on the best part.
If there is any form of abuse in your relationship, then it is definitely time to leave. Abuse is a really serious issue, and is not just restricted to physical violence. It could also be emotional, verbal or even sexual. Abusive relationships are potential life threats, and can get dangerous really fast. Don’t think this through, just go. You don’t endure in these sort of situations.
It is extremely normal to have doubts in relationships. Everybody wonders what else is out there from time to time. But if in your case, it is more often than usual, then something might be missing in your relationship. If you are always engrossed in thoughts of someone else who can listen better, and be more reliable. You should consider leaving, because your partner just might not be who you need.
Nobody is perfect. Everyone has a character flaw one way or another. But there are some major character flaws that should make you consider ending the relationship. Drug addiction, alcoholism, habitual telling of lies, cheating constantly, and so on. If your partner isn’t making any serious commitment to work on these problems, then you should move on. However, if your partner is working towards dropping any of these ugly habits, then you should stick around.
When quirks now drive you crazy
It could be that they snore, eat with their mouth open, fall asleep without brushing their teeth. All these might be seeming cute at first, you didn’t really have a problem with them. But if all of a sudden, you can’t stand when they do this around you any longer, then it just might be a sign.
Friends and Family
If your partner is on the whitelist of your friends and family, then it is definitely a good sign. There is a lot involved for your partner to win these people over, so if they somehow managed that, you are most likely unto something good. If this isn’t the case, however, you don’t have to end the relationship just yet. Give it time and they might get along. But your family and friends still don’t like your partner, even after a significant period, there might a reason. You should never have to cut off your friends and family because of your romantic relationship. They are those that should count first, before the relationship gets really serious, as in marriage.
As much as you are a couple, you both should have a life outside of each other. You are allowed to hang out with your friends and colleagues at work or school. But if your partner gets extremely jealous when you talk to other people, then there is a problem. So if your partner is constantly monitoring you, where you go, who you associate with all the time, then it just might be time for you to leave.
No one can decide for you, you know what is best for you. However, if it is an issue of domestic violence, there is clearly nothing to think about. Asides that anyways, you can go through the checklist and evaluate your options.